Do not post without providing any useful information whatsoever. I
would be willing to try to guess if there was SOMETHING. You gave us
nothing to go on.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
modprobe +cibao+
     -- Blumf
%
Your choice to troll instead of assist has been duly noted in your
record.
     -- +Cibao+
%
Leave the damned messages on! These are put there on purpose to get
your mind ready for phaseII of your Slackware experience: Your
introduction to a Texas UFO doomsday cult.
     -- "Leonard the Committed"
%
although I did deviate from my own personal slackware tradition of
drinking beer while doing the install (which as I'm told in lore) is
necessary for a virgin install unless you want headaches.
     -- Drew
%
you could have supplied at least *somekind* of actual information, or
did you want people to guess ?
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts
%
> Are all slackware users this friendly?
I believe they are even more unfriendly to top-posting shitheads.
     -- Billy Watt
%
i don't have my own PGP here, so i'll leave yours here instead 
so as to piss off the troll:
     -- William Hunt
%
I was planning to use a headset for a telephony application, but the
tuits I've found have not been appropriately circular. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
most Slackers are real control freaks and wouldn't trust some
installer to automagically download and install crap.
     -- Kurt
%
I don't think the majority of Slackware users would care for an
auto-update system, it takes away the control we hold so dearly. I
want to know what is and gets installed on my system. I want to avoid
unecessary bloat.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
If you describe 'anal majority' as a group knowledgeable regulars that
keep the standard of the group high by actively letting (new) posters
know when they asked a stupid question, then yeah there a lot of them.
     -- Andy McDowell
%
membership is strictly limited to those who don't need to have the
docs slowly read out loud for them.
     -- William Hunt
%
yes, of course.  boogered [1] is more catastrophic than the
more generalized 'flummoxed'[2], where something that is flumoxed
might conceivably still function, and yet less so the totality of
fubar [3], where all hope is lost.  something that is boogered
simply will not work yet still retains the potential for salvage.
     -- William Hunt
%
at this point he has no way of knowing what is a newbie question and
what is a "OMFG WTF" question.  He looks through the groups.. he sees
.newbie and he sees .guru.  Guess which group he is going to post to
with the subject line of "!!! NEED HELP !!!"?  Exactly he is going to
post to both.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Don't let your sister tell you what to post. It makes you
seem...well...femmie
     -- "lionel_rooskie"
%
How do you decide if you want System V IPC or BSD Process Accounting
or what the fuck is Sysctl support?!? And what the hell is i686,
really?  My computer says Pentium, it doesn't say 686, which is
basically the same thing as a 386, right?  Wuzzup wit dat 'i' in
front, either?!  IT IS ALL SO CONFUSING< I HATE YOU ALL! 
     -- AthlonRob
%
we then put this Dual Opteron up as a mail server.It's been handling
about 200,000 Emails/day very gracefully (thanks to the Sobig worm).
     -- JWSmythe
%
rm, would you do us all a favour? find a nice high tree outside, get a
rope, tie a noose in it and hang it from the tree. stick your head through
the noose and pull tight. (make sure your feet don't touch the ground.)
then stay there hanging for a few hours. it will do you good.

oh, btw, if you find you have trouble breathing in this position, don't
worry about it. that't to be expected.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
dern it, I plonk you once, and you go changin around your address and
break my plonkage.  *re-plonk with better plonkage*.
     -- Chris
%
Feeding the trolls, as always (they make a better *plonk* when properly
fattened up first),
     -- Chris
%
I think there's a real shortage of clueful people throughout industry 
and academia. And then there's added pressure and the excrement of 
male bovines. IMHO DIY @home is the best way to learn, if not the 
ONLY way.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Welcome to alt.os.linux.slackwre. We hope you will enjoy your stay.
Your answer is here: <URL:http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html> 
     -- Faux Pseudo
%
rm. Never has so much been spewed by so few brain cells.
     -- George Georgakis in slackware-ot
%
rm. Nothing but a good excuse to master regular expressions.
     -- Mark Hill in slackware-ot
%
<emacs-vi holy war>
You people and your silly emacs! Everyone knows you save files with a
true text editor using ":x". I mean, what's up with this "Meta-S +
Meta-X" crap? How do you keep those things straight?
</emacs-vi holy war>
     -- Alan HIcks
%
I am thoroughly convinced that God uses slrn and elvis!
     -- Alan Hicks
%
that's enough
I think I'm going to turn the noise way down and the signal way up
<plonk>
     -- beldar
%
Lucifer's crowning glory in all of computing [...]
        Q W E R T Y U I O P
         A S D F G H J K L
          Z X C V B N M

     -- Lord Almighty (through the keyboard of /dev/rob0)
%
After all, brevity is the soul of that word I can't spell.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Linux is about being a great OS in it's own right - it's not about being
an alternative.
     -- Ori
%
> At least my comments are easy to judge on the Mod Quote scale, if it's an
> odd numbered compilation I'm in, if it's an even one I'm out.
     -- Billy Watt

I was going to submit that as a mod quote, but the next one is an even
one.  :)
     -- Simon
%
[...]the mark of a true geek. A geek knoweth
how little he know; a non-geek knows how much.
     -- Carl Inglis in slackware-ot
%
Is dissatisfaction included with each MS license fee?
     -- /dev/rob0
%
"think we have mostly recovered from my multiple personality
disorder."
     -- Simon
%
Linux doesn't cut it at turning a $3000 computer into a $200 video game
console compared to windoze[...]
     -- Ciro The Spider-Man
%
Tymshare PDP10?
I think we're going to need a sample of you to carbon date :)
     -- Blumf in alt.linux.slakware
%
I used to write Beej's Guides...
     -- Beej Jorgensen
%
There's only one reason why you would persist through college toward a 
degree: to make yourself more marketable in the eyes of people who are 
not qualified to judge technical competence, but yet who have been put 
in charge of corporate purse-strings.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
If we top post then the terrorists have already won.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
If this pattern continues, it may become necessary to impose martial law
- - temporarily of course - to ensure that top-posters cease in their
efforts to assist terrorist organizations.
     -- +Cibao+
%
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do
not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
     -- A friend of Faux_Pseudo
%
mcuh as i ssihtapmye wtih yuor etroffs to dralcee snillepg rnadnudet, Fuax,
trehe is a non-sutiuqer in tihs rninosaeg...[1]

[...]

[1] much as i sympathise with your efforts to declare spelling redundant, Faux,
there is a non-sequitur in this reasoning...
     -- Joost Kremers
%
You can't do anything until you understand what you're doing.  A rather 
simple anti-Klutz mechanism.
     -- notbob
%
Slackware:  You can do what YOU want and how YOU think it works right.
     -- Henry Jensen
%
my workplace only allows RedHat 'for security reasons'
     -- Big Bird
%
linux keeps people honest. no need to be a little pirate in
your own room. Arr...
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts
%
So, people with clue are returning to college to get the piece of
paper that will impress those without clue...
[...]
But people with clue know the true value of paper--that's how
toilet paper was invented.
     -- Keith Keller
%
It takes a unique brand of dedication and selfless service in
pursuit of the general nuisance to get me to bother creating a filter.
     -- James
%
IMHO people that still use MSOE and think it's neat to click on every file
that comes into their mailbox should receive a serious beating with a
clue-stick.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
RTFM - learn it, live it, love it
     -- William Hunt
%
No need to learn the manual, it may change; just
learn to think about reading it when needed :D)
     -- Loki Harfagr
%
My thesis is that all great minds are self-taught, and that the right 
kind of college can be a great place to teach yourself things.
     -- Bryan Bibb
%
"Friends don't let friends use Windows".
     -- Simon Williams
%
Slackware--decisions are based on technical opinions, not political 
or economic factors.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Amen! :) Hmmm, this gets me wondering how the bat was chosen for the
cover of the bat book. Perl's camel makes sense: perl is big, slow,
ugly, but very powerful. :) Bats ... always chasing bugs: yes, that
fits. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Qmail takes a Unix system and turns it into DJBNIX.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Also he has a four digit UID on Slashdot. Which is quite good. Better than
my 6 digit one. He probably joined up when it was worth reading.
     -- Richard James
%
Linux is a crazy crowd.
There are distributions for "users"[0] and "Users" for distributions.
Go figure?
     -- Stan Flatto
%
There's no need to bottom-quote *every* line of previous posts, just to add
your own 2 cents to a conversation.

Doing so will:

Make you a better Netizen.
Make your conversations easier to follow.
Save bandwidth.
Make your posts more likely to be read by those with limited bandwidth.
(You never know who's going to be able to answer your Q's)
Make your teeth shiny and bright.
Make you more attractive to the gender of your preference.
Increase your stamina.
_Really_ piss off 'rm'. =)
     -- +Cibao+
%
What a silly question, of course I ..... Oh S**T!!  I hereby nominate
myself for "Prat of The Year" award - I should win it easily (might
manage Prat of the Century too.
     -- Mike
%
Doesn't M$ usually back stuff that sucks? ;)
     -- Jamess
%
You are not a lawyer. None of us here are lawyers. Lawyers tend to be 
too stupid to understand computers.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
And just think. I just purchased the "Official 9.1 Distribution CD Set" just
last week from http://store.slackware.com/cgi-bin/store - should receive the
set in snail-mail much quicker than I could expect to receive a stable
version of windows.
     -- Gruppy Old Man
%
The rest, as they say, is history (although I have no idea who "they"
are nor why they say that.)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
do fish piss in the sea ?
is the pope catholic ?
are you lucky that i answered you instead of +cibao+ ?
will it hurt when i poke my finger in your eye ?
will rm eventually grow up ?
nah, scratch that last one.
     -- Jurgen
%
Slacking 'cause Bob told me to.
     -- Blumf
%
...most competent people in any endeavour tend to be self-taught; even 
those who sought a degree in that field.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Um, yeah... duly noted.  The tinfoil hats don't work unless you have the
shiny side OUT.
     -- Ciro The Spider-Man
%
If you're not going to use software because some of its end-users are
assholes, you're not going to be using much software.  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
I think there is a central FUD factory that gives industry discounts.
     -- Bryan Bibb in slackware-ot
%
"if you feel that you'll need expensive support for a simple
opensource application, that is well documented, then you're
underqualified for your job, and you're wasting our resources."
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts in slackware-ot
%
man bash has everything you need.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Please fix the user of your newsreader--he's horribly broken in many
ways.
     -- Keith Keller
%
[1] Alzheimer's time for me.[2]
 [...]
[2] The 3 best things about Alzheimer's:[3]
    You can hide your own Easter eggs.
    You make new friends every day.
    You can hide your own Easter eggs.
    You make new friends every day.
[3] Did I ever tell you the 3 best things about Alzheimer's?
 [...]
[3] Did I ever tell you the 3 best things about Alzheimer's?
     -- /dev/rob0
%
I wouldn't exactly say anyone runs KDE. Walks KDE maybe, but runs is
just a little exageration. :^)
     -- Alan Hicks
%
daemontools is a horrible nightmare of depravity, and anyone who uses it
deserves to have it respawn in runlevels 1 and 6.  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
slackware's installer's only taks is to install what you tell it to.
and o that right. that's all it has to do, and that's why we love it.
i've had some close encounters with so called "smart" installers. i
hated it. they kept insisting to install crap i didn't want. so much
for smart, i'd call them stubborn, at most.
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts 
%
Have you had your google today..
     -- Richard Adams
%
Linux is for hackers. Windoze is for appliance-operators. Linux is for
idealists. Windoze is for consumers.
     -- Alan Connor
%
go say three Hail Bob, give alms to the poor, and try again.
     -- William Hunt
%
Making things easier for the lazy, at the risk of screwing machines up
for everyone else. It all sounds so very Micrososftian, doesn't it?
     -- George Georgakis
%
Some distros attempt to be smart by doing things for you. Slackware is the
smartest one of all, because it only does what you tell it to do.
     -- Morgan Landry
%
People too afraid to do something that the vast majority of people
aren't doing, well..... what the hell are you doing using Slackware?
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Heh.  In my job "TUI" stands for "Telephony User Interface."
You think it's hard being user-friendly with a command line?
Try it with 12 buttons and no screen.
     -- Duke Robillard
%
> I wonder about the maximum RAM.  Is 640MB enough?
640MB ought to be enough for anybody.  :)
     -- Keith Keller in slackware-ot
%
Usually if you don't get a reply, that means that we don't know and
can't be bothered to look.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
I guess if I put out so many one-liners one's
gotta be funny every once in a while.  :)
     -- Keith Keller in slackware-ot
%
First thing you need is a great big clue-stick slammed hard into the                                                                
side of your head. Then you'll know to do a few things.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Perl is significantly more readable after encryption.
     -- Keith Keller
%
I love how a good troll can bring out the *love* in the
community. Group hugs all around. :-)                  
     -- Bryan Bibb
%
If you stop morphing, I promise I won't morph just to evade your
sophisticated scoring mechanism (which probably somehow pipes each
post through sed, rot13, and grep, and adds up exit statuses to
decide the final score of each post).
     -- Keith Keller
%
I had no way of knowing that, I don't have permissions to read
/dev/yourmind.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Did I hurt your feelings somehow? If so I'm dreadfully sorry, as well as
completely at a loss as to how my post could have been offensive. It
shan't happen again unless perhaps you should happen to morph your
posting identity.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Old computers never die, they just smell that way <B-).
     -- Chris Newport
%
Slackware is like a beautiful woman, you have to work at it and know how
to treat her before she'll do the things you want her to do for you.
But the end result is so totally worth it.
     -- AthlonRob
%
If you want to become a productive Linux user - meaning you can
do whatever you want with your computer, you *ARE* going to have
to learn a little bit.  This isn't Billyware, you really can do
anything you want with Linux.  We aren't in the box, we live and
think outside of it.
     -- AthlonRob
%
Trim your posts. Don't top post. GAFC, find the FAQ, and read it.
This is not a flame. It is a warning before the real flames come. If
you're crying now, you probably won't last long around here.
     -- Morgan Landry
%
"When we as a community try to define culture/rules/behavior, what 
we are really saying is "Behave this way and many experts will help 
you with your Slackware questions.  Behave that other way and most 
of the experts will ignore you." It's not about limiting your 
choices.  It's about explaining to you that actions have 
consequences."
     -- Guy Macon
%
you will start to learn things.
but you'll have to decide for yourself wether that's going to be
a pitfall for you or not :)
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts
%
It's not that the basic usage of vi is all that difficult to learn - I
just find its use to be just barely more fun than a root canal sans
anesthesia.
     -- RedBeard
%
go look up 'paranoid' in a dictionary. a firewall and security updates
aren't paranoid, they're prudent.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
knowledge comes to those who are not afraid to show their lack of it. ;-)
     -- Joost Kremers
%
Crash! Biff!! POW! Holy scarecrow, Batman! Another straw man laid to
waste.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
I've read every single post of yours for the last month or so, and
have decided that you have either a +5 Ring of Clue Resistance or an
Amulet of Fact Deflection.
     -- RedBeard
%
Slackware 10: The *real* OS X
     -- Guy Macon
%
You people are still using *Computers*?? I am whistling into my
phone at 56Kbps and doing the trellis encoding in my head. I can
decode audio and video files in real-time, but decrypting PGP
files without the key slows me down a bit...
     -- Guy Macon
%
You should have ended your post with ":q!"
     -- Linønut
%
Skill lies not in knowledge itsself, but in the ability to find
said knowledge when needed.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
ok, how many times am i going to have to say this? don't *ever* mention the
goat!!
     -- Joost Kremers
%
I'm self-educated.
     -- /dev/rob0, G.aF.C., R.t.F.M., S.t.F.W., P.H.D.[1]
%
Nobody here really cares about your time schedule, so don't bother
mentioning it.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
why do all these uninitiated keep bringing up goats? we
don't do anything with goats. there is no such thing as a goat ritual.  we
also don't consume large amounts of psychotropic plants paint our bodies
and dance naked around bonfires. we don't do that. ever. really we don't.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
You forgot the bucket of lard, we don't do anything with that either.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
I have certified, professional, international asshole credentials... 
something highly coveted in the journalism world.
     -- Adams-Blake
%
hard drive:
Richmond t' Nawlins in an ol' pikup truck, an not stoppin' t' pee.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
I wish I could say my misspelling was meant to be a bad joke, but
it's just a bad misspelling.
     -- Keith Keller
%
I didn't know RH has standards, even if they do, I doubt they adhere to
them.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
