I'm going back to windoze, too many dammed options with linux ;)
     -- Blumf
%
Slackware 8.1 isn't that old, certainly no reason to be fired.  RedHat
5, now there's a reason to be fired.  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
It looks like something a sales manager would come up with (i.e it 
looks impressive to other managers, but doesn't mean anything).
     -- Simon Williams
%
"Given the choice, we'd broadcast pornography at any time, but the
average video cassette can't hold much data, so we might as well
schedule it for when we've got home from work, finished dinner & sent
the children to bed.  Those employees who want pornography during
working hours can get it from the Internet; there is a reason we have 2
GigE connections to the LINX." - BBC schedulers.
     -- Simon Williams in slackware-ot
%
I think Slackware's little tick is that it doesn't have any little ticks
to try to lock you in to Slackware.  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
Are'nt computers stupid? They just do what YOU tell them to do!
     -- Stan Flatto
%
[...] sendmail, every real nerd's MTA. ;^)
     -- Alan Hicks in slackware-ot
%
I usually suggest people learn to RTFM, I suggest *you* take it one
letter at a time, start with 'R', which stands for read.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Wired is the closest thing to a content-free magazine I've seen in some
time.  And it's ugly.
     -- William Hamblen
%
Mandrake is the Ferangi of the Linux Federation while Slackware is so
obviously the Klingons of the Linux Federation.  It is a good day to
die.

We are disgusted by Ferangi p'tok!  We slice their ears off with our
bat'leths.
     -- AthlonRob
%
rm -rf rm
     -- Sean Sullivan
%
As a newbie, you don't need gain knowledge to become a true Linux user,
just lose your fear.
     -- alex49201
%
Hi, I'm a total moron and have absolutly no incentive to learn anything
for myself. According to some website I saw, all my hardware is supported
under Linux. My problem is that since I'm a total moron, I'm too much of
an idiot to check and see if there's any information I could use in
/usr/doc, and using Google is DEFINATELY out of the question, but my
Sound, USB and Video card are messed up.

What I expect from this group is to have someone travel to my house at
thier own expense and make my computer work. After all, if I really wanted
to be "alternative" anyhow, I'd have bought a Mac in the first place!
     -- Leonard the Committed
%
That's right.  We should stop all mention of Trolls.  Any mention of
Trolls brings more Troll posts, so stop talking about Trolls already!

All Your Troll Are Belong To Us,
     -- Keith Keller
%
I think you should get a life, mate! Compile a kernel or something.
     -- Molchun
%
A request for flames? Haven't had one of those in awhile. :^) Alright,
consider yourself flamed.

STFU. GAFC. STFW. RTFM.

There you go.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Build yourself a fool proof system, and the world will simply build a
better fool.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
[...] and hobbyists like yourself, who think that
it is somehow a good thing to design and build a lightbulb
everytime you want to turn on the lights.
     -- rm
%
Anyway, let's not forget the likes of Edison and successors. If THEY
didn't know how to design and build lightbulbs, we'd all be reading
Usenet by candlelight. ;) :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
To be honest, F_P and I had our way in dominating I-IV.
I figured it's only fair for me to STFU and give everyone else a chance to
be just as rude and insulting as we have been. =)
     --  +Cibao+
%
Perhaps true, but isn't a put-down from an RPM zealot equivalent to a
compliment?  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
mmm. i must have a cryptic mind then, because emacs makes perfect sense to
me. ;-)
     -- Joost Kremers
%
they have it all wrong, of course. here's the updated results:

Browser of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Distribution of the Year - Slackware (26.34%)
Database of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Desktop Environment of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Office Suite of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Word Processor of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Spreadsheet of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Window Manager of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Multimedia Application of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Cryptography App of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Web Development Editor of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Mail Client of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Editor of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Hardening App of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Open Source Game of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Commercial Game of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Windows on Linux App of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Security App of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
FTP Server of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Web Server of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
MTA of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)

(ok, ok... some of these might be a stretch. ;-)
     -- Joost Kremers
%
Slackware isn't meant for trolls.
     -- William Park
%
Now that, Alan my boy, is an interesting moment of self-revelation - the
curious fact that the presence of "floppy" (or even "floopy"!) in the
subject line leads you on to Viagra in the body.  Having problems?   That
would explain a great deal.
     -- Glyn Millington
%
Of course, someone could have answered that you change your mouse type
by snipping his genitalia.  That would be terribly inappropriate for the
newsgroup.
     -- Keith Keller
%
It's your box break it where ever you want it failing.
     -- Menno Duursma
%
like i said, you have the right to ask your questions here. i will
ignore them if i don't feel like answering them.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
you're a techie? I had you mistaken for a moron 
     -- Menno Duursma
%
The only time Windows works 98% of the time is when it is shut off.
     -- Kraven
%
If you're easily daunted when you operate computers, use Windows. You'll
come across fewer problems with Windows but it will frustrate even your
expert friends in their attempts to sort the 'nasty' problems.

If you stick a big two fingers up at computer problems and aren't afraid
to beat them into submission, use Linux. You might have to fight a
continual struggle, but its downhill all the way.
     -- Ben Measures
%
Remember kids, some OS's aren't as fortunate as linux/BSD, this winter
when you're sat behind your iptables warm in the glow of your firewall,
think of the poor defenceless Windows.
     -- Blumf in slackware-ot
%
''random'' text isn't random, you're just too dumb to
recognize the pattern.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Kinda hard to have "put me in my place" when I killfilled that troll
ages ago don'tcha think? Now I'm gonna put you in your place.

*plonk*
     -- Alan Hicks
%
> Damn Slack, aint you got some kinda "clean my house" function?

rm -fr "${HOME}"/*
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Big words from a big man.
In public.
Being archived by Google.

What was that about "really stupid" again?
     -- +Cibao+
%
BTW, having rm on your side is like wiping your ass with previously used
toilet paper.
     -- notbob
%
there's no way that someone as foul-mouthed as +Cibao+ would be
respected unless he showed that he had a spectacular brain to go
along with the mouth.  ;-)
     -- Keith Keller
%
People should be compensated for their work.  And people asking for a 
hand out shouldn't get righteous when told to learn how to fish.  Odds 
are that is how the people with the fish got them in the first place.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
If you insist upon wasing our time with already-documented questions, we'll
waste your time by telling you so in a colorful and creative fashion.
     -- +Cibao+
%
The ability to STFW is not just a desired Slackware user trait.  It is a
trait that all users of all OS's should have.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
   Let:-.                                (bt * u)
        |-> b=bandwidth                 --------- = w > STFW
        |-> w=wasted time                  STFW
        |-> t=time
        |-> u=users with questions      that have been asked before
        `-> STFW="Search The Fine Web"     :F_P:

Or in short "w > STFW".
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Sane people rarely go out and find what is considered to be the least
user-friendly linux distribution out there as an intro to Linux.  Sane
people don't seek out help in what is considered to be the least
friendly linux newsgoup out there.

We are not sane.  Nobody has ever accused us of being sane.
     -- AthlonRob
%
As a member of "everyone", I would like to ask that you stop speaking
for us.
     -- Sysiphus
%
If Linux users are the "wacko fringe" of IT, then this group is probably 
the "wacko fringe" of Linux.
     -- Adams Blake Company
%
I count ZERO misspellings in that post.  Who are you and what have you
done with Faux?
     -- AthlonRob in reply to Faux_Pseudo
%
Lo, and behold!  This is the
Meaning of Slack[tm]!!  To exhaust other means of solving a problem before
asking for a handout here.
     -- Sysiphus
%
The group is democratic. Democracy is three wolves and a sheep deciding
what to have for dinner.
     -- Handover Phist
%
/dev/wife had removed all need for /dev/hand. /dev/hand is just kept
around for backwards compatability these days.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
slackware is imbued with the spirt of Slack.
slackware has Slack because Volkerding has Slack.
If you have no Slack, then slackware will confuse you
and frustrate you.  You will turn away, and call it crap.
That's not slackware's fault: slackware made you no promises.
If you have Slack, then slackware will serve you well.
     -- William Hunt
%
It's not done.  This is not Gentoo.
     -- NeoSadist
%
It's well known that create_general_protection_fault(); in VCC+
is unreliable.  Try save_important_file(); that one crashes
every time.
     -- Guy Macon
%
And yet, here we are, showing that the clothes have no emporer.
     -- Sysiphus
%
If you had a fucking clue to begin with, you'd know that MIME is /not/
plain-text - and in fact is called MIME to *differentiate* the format from
plain-text. HTML isn't plain-text, either. That's /why/ it's called
"Hypertext Markup Language".
     -- +Cibao+
%
For all of that, and becuase of your personal charm, I hereby award you:

"Clueless Fuckwit of the Leap Year 2004"

Be sure to show it to your mommy, I'm sure she'll be proud of ya.
     -- +Cibao+
%
Why dontcha try doing a simple google search to learn and understand
the /why/ of Usenet standards/protocols instead of tilting at
windmills that you obviously don't even begin to understand.
     -- +Cibao+
%
I hate offending people without realising that I've done so... it
takes all the fun out of it.
     -- Steve Youngs
%
You're no one if you haven't been killfiled by Alan Connor.
     -- Mark Hill
%
I respecfully disagree to "easier to learn methods".
What do you learn, and what do you KNOW, when a "wizard" does the
configuration for you?
But then everybody can "use" a piano, very few can play it.
     -- Stanislaw Flatto
%
Put the troll down
     -- Billy Watt
%
To paraphrase a tired old cop movie cliche, "You must be the good
troll".
     -- notbob
%
We have been helping people grow up one STFW at time.

                                                       __
                                  ______.-------------|  |
          __                     (______(             |  |\\\\\
    ..--''  ``--.._                 ___/ `------------|  |___  
          __       ``--..______.---'|| \            __   |  ||
    ..--''  ``--.._           / ||  ||  |      | | |  |  |  ||
                   ``--.._____\ ||  ||  |      | | |__|  |  ||
   The plug is pulled          `---.||_/                 |  ||
   Plonked is the troll                \ .------------|  |---'
   Feed him I will not           .------(    :F_P:    |  |\\\\\
                                 `------`-------------|  |
                        http://asciipr0n.com/fp/ascii `--'
     -- Faux_Psuedo
%
Isn't funny how Microsoft seemingly arbitrarily decided to call
directories folders? In the next release you'll probably see an icon on
your desktop called "My Electric Adding Machine."
     -- Steve Youngs
%
He knows you're trying to kill file him and
that his morphs are working on you. But no matter how many times he
morphs, he can't beat the kill file called self-restraint, which is
where you choose not to give him the attention he so desperately
craves.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Ideas can't be 0wn3d, only computers which store ideas.  :)
 -- l33t haX0r

     -- Keith Keller
%
Slrn is the best.  It just takes a while to make it absolutly perfect
for each user.  But thats why it is the best.  Becasue it can be
perfectly attuned to your every need.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Only spammers and relatives send HTML mail.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Take a clue from those who know.  Go to the HTML newsgroups.  Count up
the number of people there who post in HTML.  Go to the MIME groups.
Count up the number of people there who post in MIME.  Note that even
the people who's carriers and lives revolve around MIME and HTML don't
even post in them because the know that the Usenet is supposed to be a
plain text arena.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
[MIME on Usenet]
Do you remember actually *TYPING* 87 lines in your response, or did your
(poor, bloated, stupid) choice in clients instead SEND that many because
of your (poor, bloated, stupid) choice of software settings?
     -- +Cibao+
%
Never in my entire life have I ever come across anyone as mentally
challenged as this fuckwit.  No, sorry, that's an insult to fuckwits.
This guy is in a league all to his own.
     -- Steve Youngs
%
No one here thinks they
are running the newsgroup, they are just making of it what it has
always been.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
"Can't we all just get along?"  Oh, yeah, and be my unpaid commercial
support staff while you're at it.(If not, or if you tell me to READ
something, I will bitch and moan about how mean-spirited you are, and how
you try to own the NG)
     -- Sysiphus
%
 This is USENET. The wild west of online
communication. Where trolls and flames roam rampant.
     -- Cichlidiot
%
[ ... ]
>  out why no one else sees thier actions as herioc"
>                        -Nobody (made up example with errors)

Thas funny.  I dn't remember writtting that.  It shur looks like
somthing I wood write but you sade you makde it up so I'm toing to
have s to turst you.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
What are you implying, that hockey players are freakin' violent?
Say that again and I'll kick your ass!
     -- Keith Keller
%
For an alleged killfiler, you certainly seem to show a penchant
for ringing the fscking dinner bell.
     -- Rich Grise
%
Tux without the pipe is somehow disturbing.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Did you know that rm -rf ./usr/bin and rm -rf /usr/bin are two
drastically different things? ;)
     -- Ciro The Spider-Man
%
If the CTO really wants the business to succeed, he'll find geeks to run
the servers - not business-oriented people who happen to know computers
and will try to keep them working because they're geting paid, but geeks
who are passionate about what they do and would probably keep doing it                      
for free if they didn't have bills to worry about. These are the people
that will pour their soul into making things run smoothly - and these   
are the people who run Slackware.
     -- Phroggy on Slashdot
%
automatic upgrading is nice if you can risk ruining your system. if you
depend on your system, however, you use your brain when doing security
upgrades
     -- Joost Kremers
%
I consider knowledge valuable ... don't need it all, but like to have it.
     -- Andreas Paasch
%
If we wish to
have a ritual in which we sacrifice some evil animal, allow me to make
the following suggestion: trolls.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Nor am I afraid of hosing my own system. Sometimes things go wrong and
don't turn out how you intended. That's called life. I suggest you look
into getting one; they're lots of fun.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
I knew I'd get a mod-quote for that! It was so..... +Chrion+ :-)
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Nothing says "I'm a BOZO" like quoting _yourself_ in the FAQ. =)
     -- +Cibao+
%

u talk as if shipping software according to a calander instead of
when it's really ready is a Good Thing.  It isn't.
     -- Guy Macon
%
What rot. I would never pay MY money to people who write programs for
an OS of which they have no understanding. Hmmm, wouldn't that cover
all WINDOWS-based software as well? NOBODY understands Windows. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
What's a looser?  A very relaxed poster?
     -- notbob    
%
> Why slackware
Well, because Slackware rules amongst general-purpose Linux distros
And Linux sucks less then most other OS'
     -- Menno Duursma
%
>> Why slackware when there is windows out there already?
> Because it can stay up for more than half an hour.

I'm holding out for RonJeremyOS.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Slackware /because/ MSWindows is out there, and isn't any good.
     -- Lew Pitcher
%
That's why we like Slackware, there's usually a good reason for not
using the latest and greatest of a particular software package.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
You have had your hand held by other distros. Slackware won't do as
much for you as they do. If you want to learn how things work, that's
great, because you will. But if you just want things to work for you
without caring about how and why it did, Slackware's a poor fit.
      -- /dev/rob0
%
roll, roll, roll your own,
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream
     -- Joost Kremers
%
On Wed, 31 Mar 2004 21:39:58 -0800, Guy Macon wrote as usually only Guy
  Macon can do, but you never really know if it is THE Guy Macon, or a
  cheap imitation Guy Macon or a Guy-Macon-lite:
     -- /dev/rob0
%
The way you explain things, it hard to figure out what the problem was in
the first place, if there was a problem of course, possably;
 "operator error".
 "Two many fingers on keyboard at the same time".
 "Hitting the anykey to often".

Change the operator at the keyboard and press the anykey to continue.
    -- Richard Adams
%
Surely the point about slackware is that it's still redolant  of oldskool
unix, and doesn't feel like a poor man's windows? The main strength of it
is that it still works properly, and doesn't appeal to everyone.
    -- Ancipital
%
Just MHO, flames to Dave Null, or someone else who cares.
    -- Ancipital
%
#installpkg clueforclueless-1.1.1-i586.tgz
     -- Glyn Millington
%
> What's Slackware got going for it?

a 10 year track record that speaks for itself;
a simple philosophy of design that merges tradition and practice;
a strong and diverse community of supporters;
security, reliablilty, flexibility.
     -- William Hunt
%
- - Morality. Slackware is the most moral Linux distribution. This is to
say that one need not worry that Slackware will dump core on you, shit
in your yard, bang your girl friend, or shoot the dog. Slackware only
does what you tell it to do.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Most Slackers agree
that dependency checking is a function of the sysadmin, not the
operating system.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Take the same risks with software installs as you
would with any other serious subject; if you wouldn't do your own house wiring
without some preparatory learning, why would you "make install" without some
preparatatory learning?
     -- Lew Pitcher
%
Hold it right there! *You* are the "linux community". If you have a problem with
the package tools, /you/ are responsible. I'm not saying that you have to fix
it, but /you/ (the one complaining) can choose to complain to the people who
write the tools, or /you/ can choose to suffer in silence. There is no 'other
guy' linux community that has an obligation to make your experience nicer.
There's only you.
     -- Lew Pitcher
%
Talk to the hand. Who cares about "wider adoption". It's not a goal. It's not an
issue. It's market speak from a corporation who wants more people to give it
money. "Wider adoption" isn't Linux. Do you talk about the "impediments to wider
adoption" of ball peen hammers? I don't think so. Linux is a /tool/; if it's
usefull, it will be used. There is no 'plan' or 'goal', contrary to the in-joke
of 'world domination'.
     -- Lew Pitcher
%
With attitude adjustment, _*ANYTHING*_ can be fun. :-)
     -- Steve Youngs
%
People spend time
putting in elegant design, speed, compatability, and maintainability
because doing that is fun. Whether linux is fun to the end-user or not
is just a side-effect of that.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
My God I feel sorry for you. Install Slackware, GAFC, and come back
here. Until then, bugger off!
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Mandrake and Slackware have a lot of the same
applications but Mandrake offers some[0] that slack doesn't have and
Slack has some[1] that mdk doesn't.

[0] like the ones that overwrite your handwritten config files.
[1] like the ones that manage software without worring about
    deppendancy bloat.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Excessive quoting, likewise, does not invalidate your point[s], but it
is the wrong thing to do nonetheless. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
slackware doesn't add much beyond what is necessary to get a linux system
running. no fancy installers or GUI config utilities. as a result, the
system is leaner, more stable and doesn't get in your way when you want to
do things *your* way instead of how the distro makers think you should do
things.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
[1] TING![2]
[2] There Is No Goat
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Conventions *are* reality.
     -- Keith Keller
%
You simply can't argue with a pedant.
Trust me, I'm one of them ;)
     -- George Georgakis
%
Give a kid a pr0n password and he'll be happy for a day.
Teach him how to sniff for it, he'll start nagging for more knowledge.
     -- Menno Duursma
%
*Sirens go off, red lights flash, and in the distance like the voice of
thunder come the words.* "Thou shall not ask an OT question here."
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Modems can also be dangerous. Once a whole gang of killfiled trolls
escaped and got too close to the serial port. Some rapid-fire AT
commandos modem all down. Not a pretty sight.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Some people in white coats came and did a "mv +chiron+ /looney/bin". ;)
     -- James Stafford
%
The wheel is a great invention, let's use it for our vehicle as well :)
     -- nabis
%
I am having difficulty reconciling the following statements:

>OK, first I'll warn you, I'm a real hacker.
>X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1158
     -- Guy Macon
%
Please leave your marketing cubicle, proceed directly to the nearest
techie, and beg to be soundly beaten with the largest available clue
stick.
     -- Old Man
%
there is no life before UNIX
     -- Floyd L. Davidson
%
Perhaps you downloaded the "r00t3d" version of Slackware. If your
/etc/slackware-version says "Slackware 9.1.31337" you're in trouble.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
It looks like Pat's common-sense strikes again. :) 
     -- Mark Hill
%
You've given
us practially no information, asked for advice on how to do something,
only after you attempted to do something, and tried to mask it in such
a way that we'll tell you how to do it the way you decided was best.
Now ain't that a fscked up thing?
    -- Alan Hicks
%
i searched aols through google groups <http://groups.google.com> for 
[...] and the first thread that comes up already suggests a possible
solution. i could give it to you, but then you would miss out on the
benefit of learning to search for yourself. ;-P
    -- Joost Kremers
%
I don't know where the hell this guy gets off
thinking he's all high-and-mighty and thqat we should bow down and kiss
his balls. What a complete and total ass.

*PLONK*

Wait.... can I plonk myself?
     -- Alan Hicks
%
And so what exactly do you call a file that is hidden such that the
default behavior of nearly any and every command to list files will not
show them? I'd call it a hidden file. What is etc.tar? It's a tar file.
What is Kenneth? A troll.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
I have a feeling this wil soon become 'GPs Slackware's dying tour - 2004'
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Slackers have many times in the past been accused of elitism. There's a
reason for that; we are elite. It takes a special kind of thinking to
"get it", and Slackers tend to "get it" much more than users of other
distros. If we feel like we belong to a select group, it's because we
feel like we have a very high level of in depth knowledge on free
software in general and have a right to feel superior. Here I may act
somewhat snobbish, but I can't do laundry for shit. I act a lot less
snobbish around people who are doing laundry. Those people have a right
to be snobbish about being better at doing laundry than  myself.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Open source is about doing something because it's fun to do. Not
always is it fun to help other people. Rarely is it fun to hold some
one's hand. Never is it fun to teach a pupil who doesn't wish to learn,
yet wants an "A" in the class (unless it's a really hot girl without a
lot of morals).
     -- Alan Hicks
%
O.K. here it is.  After doing a fair                                                            
amount of research and experimentation, I found that the answer is                                                                
... something that I am not willing to share with someone who has                                                                 
consistently abused every newsgroup participant who has helped him.
     -- Guy Macon
%
But then, beat poetry wasn't for everyone. It wasn't intended to be.                                                                
Like any great work of creativity, it was made to please its creator.                                                               
                                                                                                                                    
Just like Slackware itself.                                                                                                         

(Ooooh, this post managed to slide into topicality. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
You better stick to this group because here in AOLS we are trained                                                                  
professionals when it comes to handling individuals who are grumpy                                                                  
on a permanent basis.
     -- Thomas Overgaard
%
Slackware users can be some really cool people.
     -- Allegedly Pat V.                                                     
%
Well, you see, Science is the X axis of multifractal reality, and             
Religion is the Y axis, and I'm on the Z axis.
     -- Rich Grise
%
I find that those who have to use profanity as a means of emphasis,           
usually have nothing worth listening to.
     -- HJohnson
%
#!/bin/sh                                                                       
                                                                                
if [ $# -ne 1 ] ; then                                                          
    echo "usage: $0 <newsgroup-i-posted-to>"                                    
    exit 1                                                                      
fi                                                                              
GROUP_I_POSTED_TO=$1                                                            
GROUP_I_SHOULDVE_POSTED_TO='alt.test'                                           
                                                                                
if [ "X${GROUP_I_POSTED_TO}" != "X${GROUP_I_SHOULDVE_POSTED_TO}" ] ; then       
    echo "I should've posted to \"${GROUP_I_SHOULDVE_POSTED_TO}\""              
else                                                                            
    echo "Yay me!, I posted to the right group."                                
fi
     -- Paul Wisehart
%
I am a newbie. But not just any newbie: I'm         
a Senior Executive Newbie. Newbie Cum Laude. But in '75 I was pretty            
handy with bicycle tires.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Everything is obvious when you know where to look.
     -- Keith Keller
%
In 2016, slackware 19.1 will be followed by slackware XX.                       
the new voice control shell will be a big hit, but it will                      
have problems with an AI driver that sometimes gets moody                       
and suggests that you find some good music instead of the                       
crap you keeping playing.
     -- William Hunt
%
oh-no-sec-ond n.: 1. That infinitesimal interval between hitting                                                                
the "send" button and realizing you've made some spectacular blunder                                                                
that shouldn't have been sent.
     -- Rich Grise
%
There is no slack in this one. You are hereby remanded and stripped of                                                              
any BOZO points you may or may not have earned to date. You are hereby                                                              
required to goof off at a commandline for the next three days while                                                                 
successfully convincing your boss that you are doing real work. You                                                                 
will say three "Hail Bob"s twice a day, at dawn and at dusk.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
When two or more people here say the same thing to          
you, it's a pretty damn good bet they're right. This ain't a mandrake           
newsgroup.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
microsoft needs to differentiate 'NT Workstation' vs 'NT Server'                
to support their marketing strategys.  unix, gnu/linux, doesn't.                
the same kernel can be configured for everything from tiny                      
embedded systems to large supercomputers and everything in between.
     -- William Hunt
%
Dependency checking for a            
skilled admin causes more headaches than it saves. For noobs lacking in         
Clue, dependency checking seems to be a gift from God. In actuallity,           
it is a crutch.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Death of Slackawarer predicted! Film at 11!
     -- Guy Macon
%
There are a few others that some consider trolls, but I consider to be          
more like the annoying kid on the schoolyard. These ones though don't           
contribute much of anything useful. Calling them trolls is probably a           
stretch because these days they're mostly ignored, perhaps it's better to       
call them the angry spectres of the newsgroup, constantly rattling chains       
only to be ignored.
     -- Cichlidiot
%
well, you never see the computers that just run, without causing                
problems. so why *would* you see slackware? ;-)
     -- Joost Kremers
%
Printing on Unix began not too long after people started carving                
letters into stone, and it hasn't changed much since then.
     -- wg
%
Just what is basic, anyway?  To Linus it's a sane memory architecture.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Anyway it occurs to me that ISP's "supporting" Linux would not be a             
Good Thing overall. I mean, look at how they "support" Windows: a               
telephone monkey reads a poorly-thought-out script to the hapless               
victim, and there is no real understanding of the issues.
    -- /dev/rob0
%
if [ "x${STFW}" -ge "x${RTFM}" -o ! "${GAFC}" ] ; then
   links www.tldp.org/LDP/abs/html/
elif [[ ${ABC} != "$GAFC"]] ; then
     echo -e '[*]\nScore: =-9999\nFrom: \cA.*B.*C\C" > $SCORE
else echo "Amego!  Uno mas cervesa porfavour!"
fi
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Microsoft is a combination of the Ferengi and the Borg. Unfortunately,
they use the Ferengi for programming and the Borg for marketing.
     -- Ciro The Spider-Man
%
On the MDK group, you get lots of nice folks who have a lot of
misinformation that they are happy to share in their eagerness to help.
I'd much rather have Hicks or notbob or Raven say "Hey you asshole, you
can find the answer here or there, or over this way" and then when you
come back and and say "I still don't understand when it says such and
such" they give you the answer or at least most of it... and it's right.
     -- A-B C
%
Will code for beer!
     -- William Hunt
%
But _everything_ is about GP.  For years, he's been trying to rescue
Slackware from its obviously impending death.  And he could do it, too,
if only that idiot PV would _listen_ to him instead of _squeezing his
head_.
     -- Old Man
%
"He's prolly got a bottle of hand lotion and a box of tissues next to the
keyboard while he jabbers out his latest, incoherent gibberish."
     -- +Cibao+
%
The guy who types "pgp trash troll delete" is a  real cocksucker and
should be hung up by the nuts. I will use pgp if I please and no
fucking dimwitted little cunt will tell me otherwise...
     -- Alan Hicks
%
