Pat sprinkles each CD with pixie dust.
From: Michael
%
ordially, as always,
From: rm
%
I consider adding untrusted local users to be equivalent to handing
out the root password.
From: Michael
%
I'm an Intel CPU P4 2,6Ghz HT whit bus at 800Mhz and an Intel
Motherboard D865PERL...
From: kb8
%
Contrarian you are, question asked but not for learning.
Difficult the explaining of Bozo points is.
In you, slack is not, community is not.
Without community, no care there is, no respect there is.
Without respect, no model, no reference, no context, no meaning.
Without meaning, no explaining.
Bitterness abundantly there is.  Buzzing of flies.
BFD, GAFL.
HTH.
From: William Hunt
%
This is me staring at you vacantly...
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
why does it have to be so d* hard to give out free support ?
From: William Hunt
%
Wow! Some one who isn't a total prick when they're asked nicely to
trim and bottom post. Bob be praised!
From: Alan Hicks
%
You crashed your hard disk? Allow me to help.
Me- In the name of Jesus I command ye to SPIN!
Congregation- Praise Jesus!
Me- SPIN!!!
Congregation- Praise the Lord!
After all, getting a failed hard drive to work again is more an
exercise in faith than anything else.
From: Alan Hicks In: slackware-OT
%
It would seem that software must be monolithic in order to be
considered economically feasible, has to have enough bells and
whistles to be saleable, which translates directly to a necessary
level of complexity that almost mandates that the code cannot be
completely understood.  This means that the programmer is unable,
perhaps not even expected, to have a complete grasp of what the
program is intended to accomplish in operation. 
From: pseudonym
%
I had my doubts as to whether this was actually God speaking, but
when He said "Slackware rules" I could tell that it really was Him...
From: Guy Macon
%
If you are probibly not the first person to do something it is likely
someone has already posted the answer.  It is times like this we must
STFW.  Doing so gives us Clue.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Only takes me one line to say *PLONK*!
From: Alan Hicks
%
It's Keith's Fault
From: Cibao  In: Slackware-OT
%
Don't forget that, like Slackers, sky divers look down on others.
(Well, except the people who dive after them.)
From: Keith Keller
%
You, on the other hand, are simply having the crap beat out of you
for being an asshole.
From: Rich Grise
%
Don't bother. You obviously won't suceed if you have to come here and
ask for a tutorial.
From: Alan Hicks
%
No definitions were found for GAFC.
No definitions were found for STFW.
could someone help me ? :-P
From: subby
%
I though only AOLers were scared about their IPs getting
out.  <g>
From: AthlonRob In: Slackware-OT
%
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.  Therefore
you have few friends
From: Laurie Ann Riley In: Slackware-OT
%
Not all AOLers are scared about their IPs getting out.  Some of them
have bought software that hides it.  :)
From: Simon Williams In: Slackware-OT
%
But seriously, it is probably just that a certain type of personality
is drawn to that type of career. Scientific thinkers might migrate
towards science, artists migrate towards their art, skilled workers
practice their craft, people that really have no useful skills go into
politics.
From: Bradley Reed 
%
More proof for the 'people R dum' file.
$ echo "William Willett" >> idiots.log
From: Blumf
%
Since this country was founded, more and more laws have come into
existence to protect the masses, "save the children", and inhibit
natural selection at the expense of our freedoms.
From: Kurt In: Slackware-OT
%
And yes, both the republican and democratic parties are un-American
because they want to interfere in our individual lives way too much.
From: Kurt In: Slackware-OT
%
Sometimes it is good to fool around with other distributions to remind
yourself why you use Slackware.
From: Kurt
%
Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore.
From: Kurt
%
I would consider myself a noob to this group but I can also honestly
say i've never been bashed or flamed for asking questions here. I have
observed that if you take the time to ask an intelligent question and
at least make some effort to fix your own problem the 'regulars' will
help you out.
From: Scott Eberl 
%
it's alt.os.linux.slackware not alt.my.personal.life.story
From: Dominik L.. Borkowski
%
I tend not to confuse technical news groups for shrink sessions.
From: Dominik L.. Borkowski
%
Subject: Re: test
Failed. 400 newsgroups with test in the name and your post ended
up in alt.os.linux.slackware.
From: James Woodard 
%
My make was in the wrong directory, and I wound up recompiling the
entire OS from scratch. It actually worked like a charm.
From: Alan Hicks
%
I don't see any disgruntled posters here.
Oh.  That's right.  I killfiled them.  My bad.
From: Guy Macon
%
If it ain't broke, upgrade!
From: Stanislaw Flatto
%
learn to bash, it's a vital skill in slack.
From: Joost Kremer
%
Unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and abject imbeciles often
go astray.
From: L Alessi-Pietrosh
%
Being the only man to ever manage to get his tongue stuck the spacebar
and ALT key on a keyboard, I'm sure you displayed your impressive
ability to say and do incredibly stupid things as soon as you learned
to speak and move about.
From: L Alessi-Pietrosh
%
I'm sure you have perfected the craft of saying stupid things to the
level of an art form that only botched lobotomy patients and those
suffering from gangrene of the brain stem can come close to
equaling.
From: L Alessi-Pietrosh
%
people who pack source tarballs without putting all the files in a 
folder first shout be shot.
From: John Bleichert
%
inside every Windows victim is a budding Linux user crying for freedom, 
justice, and the Clueful Way.
From: Rich Grise
%
Newsreader killfile
I speak from experience
Use and be happy
From: Mark Hill
%
This is Linux; do it your way with only a nod to tradition. Don't
forget the nod, lest you find out the hard way why the tradition 
exists...
From: name
%
Arrr, mateys, it gives "keel file" a whole new meaning, ye
louse-hostin' anonymous remailers!
From: Keith Keller on Talk Like A Pirate Day
%
By the way, if you're going to call someone stupid, it helps not to do
something *really* stupid, like top-posting.  Or calling somebody
stupid for directing you to the fucking creators of a program with
questions about it.
From: Keith Keller
%
writing a paper on computer security, and then distributing it as an
MS Word file? that's like organising a symposium on international 
cooperation and asking gw bush as keynote speaker...
From: Joost Kremers
%
I would have to manipulate him into thinking it's his idea.
From: Rich Grise
%
I could eat dog shit for a week and PUKE out a better TV tuner card
than
that Leadtek TV2000XP Expert crap.
From: Brian
%
I'll killfile you so I don't "bother" you anymore.
From: NeoSadist
%
It has been my observation that swaret is not as dependable as
Slackware-Current
From: NeoSadist
%
Call it inertia, call it bad programming, call it what you will, but
$() is still the new kid on the block and back-ticks are the crusty
old geiser that people still use because they are comfortable with
him. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Good to hear that for once my question was not utterly stupid
From: Tim
%
oh no! you're not dragging *me* into it!
(being dragged nonetheless)
From: Alan Hicks In: Slackware-OT
%
I may just have issues.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
remember that you can never run "/sbin/lilo" too many times
From: Shilo Bacca
%
k f <RET> a <RET> y
From: Joost Kremers
%
this distro is so stable
we've been reduced to posting about crap
From: prodigal1
%
The average linux user's clue rating is dropping every day. Personally
I don't think these are the people who are drawn to Slackware. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
doing something for some one else when there are no
rewards for you is being the opposite of a dickhead.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
there is no such thing as a windows geek 
From: Madhusudan Singh
%
Anything I learn in Slackware is likely to transfer over to some
degree to another OS, even one as fundamentally different as Mac OSX
or Windows XP. Moving from Slackware to a BSD or a Unix OS is mostly
smooth and trouble free. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
people have a right to post whatever they want, and take the
concomitant abuse, and they have a right to bitch and piss and moan
and snivel and troll and trollfeed to their heart's content, and I
have the power to ignore their silly rantings, as do we all.
From: Rich Grise
%
your twisted logic is still asinine.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
Dude, just calm down, mm'kay? Let's all just slack in peace and love,
mm'kay?
From: Mario Berger
%
Not wanting to be sexist, but if I went on and did unto _women_ what I
would have them do unto _me_, jee, I'd be in prison before I could say
"rabbi's fault"... ;)
From: Mario Berger
%
The word "dude" is certainly often seen in such contexts, but it
generally implies that the person *using* the term is the dope-head,
not the person being referred to :-) 
Of course, the rest of the post was annoying enough by itself.
From: Jeffrey Froman
%
So now the question is, why are you editing SGML files when you don't
know what they are?
From: Blumf
%
The shorter the answer, the more stupid the question, it would seem
From: Mario Berger
%
Slackware's Changelog is the most frequently viewed public
corospondence Pat has with the public at large. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Good grief, I haven't ranted this long in a while.  Must be the beer
and the late hour.  Enjoy.
From: Beowulf
%
WWCD
What Would +Cibao+ Do
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
How about the WWCD[0] method of getting along with others? While it
might not earn you many friends among the unwashed masses, those
people
skilled in the art of Slack and possessing much Clue will adore you,
and isn't that who you want after all?
[0] What Would +Cibao+ Do?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
The God of Slack is a vengeful God.
From: Cibao Cu Ali G Colibri In: Slackware-OT
%
The easy way is by preparation through study.
The hard way is preparation through failure.  Your choice.
From: name
%
Linux is a wonderful system that gets better every day and Slackware,
in particular, makes it both a joy and sometimes a pain to take
advantage of the system to accomplish whatever it is you want to
accomplish without a lot of barriers in the way. In my case, I'm not a
kernel building guy -- I know other stuff -- and I've accepted the
fact that if I just wait a little while things will come and the parts
and pieces will work. It's that darned waiting part that's difficult;
instant gratification can't always be had but good things do come to
those willing to wait. One of the best things is that you can, if you
have to, go in another direction and get to where you need to.
From: Thomas Ronayne
%
I'm the kind of person that continued to beat his head against the
wall until either his head or the wall breaks[0] 
[0] Head - 43, Wall - 39
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
For best results, use genuine hog lard and stir in one pint of human
blood from a virgin. If you are unable to find a virgin some old coot
who can't get it on anymore will do. Copies of the spellbook and
buckets of lard can be purchased from me for reasonable fees given the
quality of the black magic and hog lard, which is a necessary material
component in almost all black magic spells (especially love spells for
who doesn't love a bucket of lard?). You'll have to find your own
virgin's blood if you wish to cast spells past the seventh circle.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Dear Santa Claus, all I want for Christmas is the latest version of
Slackware
From: Michael Black
%
man, you rock! i mean, we need guys like you on internet. without you,
this ng would be dead long time ago. your helping skills and your
witty remarks are most exquisite. you are also the reason i dont hate
people from france!
From: Mad-Eye Moody
%
Subject: Re: Patrick "The Man" Volkerding needs medical help
Can't he just install the new kernel and reboot?
Oh, it's a hardware problem!
From: König Prüß, GfbAEV
%
Six months ago I got tired of wife getting every virus and worm on the
planet with XP so in middle of night I loaded Slack on her laptop,
told her it was the new Windows update, version K (which explained the
"K" start button.) I put on Codeweavers Xover and loaded the MS Office
stuff. She started it up, remarked how the new graphics looked so
nice, and went to work. 
I finally told her the truth, but for a few weeks she thought it was
Windows and that MS had a new mascot (how else could I explain the
penguin?) 
From: Al. C
%
well, and i'm Q and i'm telling you that i created that time-line
for you so that you would come in here and make a fool of yourself.
From: Joost Kremers
%
AMD64 is more expensive than 32-bit x86 if you've already bought the
32-bit box. GAFC.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Thanks for all the replies (except for the one idiot)
From: Beauford
%
Nothing constructive to say so they just say something to let everyone
know they're still an asshole. 
Probably 'cause they weren't breast fed, but hey, I'm just guessing
here.
From: Beauford
%
Oh, that. That's the 'Linux Hurdle'. You have to get over that to be
allowed to use linux.
From: jayjwa
%
Personly, I'd trade a 'cannot open shared object file: No such file or
directory' for a 'Blah-blah has preformed and illegal operation,
Windows will now close' any day. 
From: jayjwa
%
I used Gentoo once and then threw the CD off the balcony. It flys
better than it works.......
From: Beauford
%
Another poor soul who has nothing better to do than scour the
newsgroups acting like an idiot.
From: Beauford
%
what's a terminal printer? what's archie? veronica? jughead?
From: GLK9MM
%
Now, now.... Don't cry.  Educate.
From: notbob
%
it's official
this distro is so stable
we've been reduced to posting about crap like this
[...] there's nothing left to talk about
From: prodigal1
%
it's official
this distro is so stable
we've been reduced to posting about crap like this
[...] there's nothing left to talk about
From: prodigal1
%
"If we [slacksec] get slashdotted in the night, rm -rf ~/public_html -
it's all in a subversion repository anyway."
From: Fred Emmott in #slacksec on irc.freenode.net
%
btw, when you uninstall the shadow package, you loose login and
su. Makes it tough to do much of anything useful afterwards. Just a
heads up to the clueless (like me, duh).
From: chud
%
maybe you'll want to rethink that. hint: why is your public key called 
public key?
From: Joost Kremers
%
So, morph away. When the new guy turns out to be an asshole too, I'll
ignore him as well.
From: Rich Grise
%
I'd say that the problem is that your head is so far up your ass that
your brain has become oxygen-starved, and you can't think clearly.
From: Dan C <youmustbejoking@invalid.org>
%
most people bork their share of systems starting out, but those with
Clue recognize it is their screw up, not "the damned system". Once you
acknowledge your part in the problem, you can begin to resolve it by
getting back to basics and hitting the books/manuals/man
pages. Whining on a forum, newsgroup or webpage does not count. 
From: Cichlidiot 
%
Now finally got access to a usable news-server so i can use a proper
client, so *plonk*.
From: Fred Emmott
%
but he is the holy messanger from god of trolls himself! praise him
and accept anything he says withought critic thought! it be dogma.
From: Mad-Eye Moody 
%
If there is to be an rm cult, there must be ceremony, and a totem.
The noble goat is definitely out.  How about the stentor (pond scum)?
From: Old Man
%
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
From: Realto Margarino
%
people who post here seem to me to be pretty hard-headed and clue-ful
From: Glyn Millington
%
It hasn't occured to you yet that changing hardware won't
make whatever you are doing wrong into the right thing?
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
I could sure go for some possum right about now.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
We'll think fondly of you when, in time, you feel like that lonely guy
wandering about in the video rental shop... you know that guy... the
betamax owner.
Then again, we'll probably just laugh at you.
From: Steve Youngs
%
AFG (ask fuckin' Google)
From: Mario Berger
%
Make sure the cat-5 cable is good!!
From: Walt R
%
That syslog message can be extra confusing to a newbie when your
username is mark. :)
From: Mark Hill
%
Wait a minute...I haven't been here in a few months.  Am I to
understand that the almighty king of "PGP Troll Trash Delete" is now
using a pgp sig?!?
From: catfoo
%
I must have slipped into a coma for a while.  If I find out that
+Chiron+ has spoken out against using profanity on Usenet, I'm gonna
find a bunker to crawl in to.  The end must be near!
From: catfoo
%
boosting my original content rating.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
would you two mind holstering your dicks and start talking about slack
again?
From: prodigal1 <prodig@l.com>
%
Did I not type loud enough?
From: Franklin
%
Your eloquent application of redundancy is baffling.
From: Mario Berger 
%
My point is that the way of slack is to understand the philosophy
behind the tool, and to see the interweaving of ideas and purposes
combining to become more than just the sum of it's parts.
From: Cibao Cu Ali G Colibri In: Slackware-OT
%
Imagine having to hold A B-C's hand through _every_ package he builds
From: Glyn Millington In: Slackware-OT
%
"Clueless" is the first stage of GAFC.
From: Rich Grise
%
I am now the embodiment of all that is evil and unholy, the pure
incarnate of the anti-Christ. Everywhere I go flowers wilt, animals
panic, and babies cry.
From: Alan Hicks
%
I think that in some fairy tales, the little hero is lost in a dark
and deep forest. But in fact, there is a solution to any problem he
can encounter, because the forest is populated by numbering little,
gentle, but hidden goblins, with many powers, that can resolve all.
But to obtain aid, you must know the name of the goblin. 
I find it's a good metaphor of Unix/Linux
From: Gauthier
%
rm doesn't like goblins because they are smarter than, less clumsy
than, and not as ugly as their distant cousin the troll.
From: ~cr~ 
%
And BTW turn your english_mode=on.
From: Wiktor Grebla
%
Never delete /etc/shadow.
From: Keith Keller
%
Seems I was naive to think the questions were naive.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
There are a small bunch of assholes on this NG and I thought I knew
them all, and tangled with them all,  but you're a new one... and not
a particularly interesting one.
From: Al. C
%
Perhaps if you wish to use an operating system with a package
management system, other than that supplied with 'Slackware', you
should look to another operating system.
From: Two Ravens
%
You /could/ also ask this in rec.food.cuisine.jewish, and be just
as on topic.
From: Lew Pitcher
%
Paul Black wrote
> and the third time I can't remember exactly how it screwed up.
it, or you? ;-P
From: Joost Kremers 
%
Ah, yet another prediction of the death of Slackware, thus assuring
its continued existence!
From: Keith Keller
%
I wouldn't wish 'make config' on someone that hasn't done this before
From: Simon
%
Fork off your own distro or fuck off.
From: Mario Berger 
%
Write us a document about how brown and moist your world view is
with your head jammed up your ass.
From: Realto Margarino
%
You've become 'rm-infected'
From: Eric Hameleers
%
Forgive my ignorance, but while I know about the AOLS Fortune Mods
and use them, what does AOLS stand for?
From: Peter
%
The mysterious inscription "AOLS" can only mean "Amerika Ostentiae
Libatorum Sustentum" Literally "americans obviously drink to survive"
(Latin adoption by this time had widely corrupted the Celtic tongue.) 
From: E. Charters
%
Bullshit.  Keith has been maintaining the FAQ for a very long time
now.  It used to be a long file that was posted to the group every so
often until he made this effort which I think is pretty damn cool.
The FAQ, and google, are a great place to start when trying to resolve
a problem.
From: ~kurt
%
I still think you're a top-posting dipshit who can't understand simple
logic.  Begone.
From: Dan C
%
The GPL is not a contract, it is a license.  Repeat that until
you understand it.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
You have one Hell of an imagination, not to mention the most
stylish tin foil hat that I've seen for quite awhile.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
Just who keeps squeezing your little head?
From: ~kurt
%
C++ is an another example of things that were made bigger and more
difficult just because they could be. If program languages were cars,
the C++ mobile would spend most of its time getting built, would get
1/2  a mpg, nobody would ever know if it was realling running, and if
you turned the wheel and shifted at the same time, the car would crash
it would take a complete rebuild to get it back on the road.
From: E. Charters
%
The SRF&G Commission has decided to formally censor Joost Kremers for
using non-western calendars.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
This may be a long (very, very long) shot. Is the tape cartridge
write-protected?
From: HJohnson
%
There is another alternative... set up printing _without_ Apsfilter
and _without_ Cups.  It is possible and the learning experience is
good for your soul. :-)
From: Steve Youngs
%
      ________________________________________
     |                                        |
     | Rules of membership:                   |
     | I.   Thou shalt not top post.          | <- note how you
     | II.  Thou shalt not feed trolls        |    broke that one
     | III. Only one ticket for a lap-dance   |
     |      per year per member               | <- see below
     | IV.  No posting allowed after having   | <- note that I
     |      had 175 ml (undiluted) of booze.  |    have broke that
     | V.   Thou shalt teach people to fish   |    one.
     |      and not give it to them without   |
     |      getting fair value in trade.      |
     `----------------------------------------'
From: Faux_Pseudo
%


