Excerpts from,
“PARENT’S GUIDE TO JUNIOR TENNIS”

TABLE OF CONTENTS

A. 	Tips for New Junior Players and their Parents					
B.  	Do's and Don't's for Tennis Parents
C.	Successful Tennis “Parenting”
A.  TIPS FOR NEW JUNIOR PLAYERS AND THEIR PARENTS 
 1. Do you have any advice concerning sportsmanship? 
Yes.  Sylvia A. Gothard, current President of the Chicago District Tennis Association and a USPTA Master Professional, has written a wonderful piece entitled "Sportsmanship at the Tennisfest."  Following are highlights of her suggestions as to how one can be a "good sport" on the court: 
 • Introduce yourself to your opponent. 
• Compete at your highest level all of the time and let the chips fall where they may. Your self-esteem is not linked to the outcome of the match. 
• Be proud of yourself for competing. 
• A ball that is 99% out is 100% in.  When in doubt, always give the point to your opponent. 
• If you make an error on a call, correct it right away. 
• During the warm-up, hit with control and warm-up all of your strokes.  This is not the time to hit the ball away from your opponent. (Save your winners for when it counts!) 
• It is the server's responsibility to clearly call the set score before the start of the game and the game score before the start of each point. If the server does not call the score, the receiver should confirm the score so there is no misunderstanding. 
• After each point, return the balls to the server; not at or away from him or her. 
• If the serve is a let, the receiver should return the ball back to the server and not wait for the server to retrieve another ball. 
• Any out or let calls must be made right away. If you wait until the end of the point, the point stands as played. 
• Conduct yourself in a manner that makes the match enjoyable for your opponent. 
• Avoid conflict with your opponent by concentrating on what you are doing.  How are you going to play the next point?  Are you breathing regularly and deeply?  These things eliminate negative energy. 
• If you respond to negative energy from your opponent, you create conflict. 
• Swearing, racket throwing, abuse of the facility and court equipment, and gamesmanship will not be tolerated.  Be aware of the USTA's Point Penalty System.  This system will be in effect for all of your matches. 
•There are no reasons to lose other than what you create within yourself.  Play the best you can today and you are a winner. Remember, there are always more losers than winners in match play. 
• Always shake hands with your opponent.  If you have anything to say, make it positive.  Do not put down your opponent or your own playing.   
2. If my child is just beginning to play tournaments, what tips should I give my child before playing a match? 
Each child is different, and much depends on your child's level of play. However, below are some of the kinds of things you might want to share with your child.  We call them the "Ten Commandments of Match Play”: 
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MATCH PLAY 
1.  Keep Your Cool:  Don’t abuse your tennis racket or tennis balls.  Don’t use abusive language.  By being on your best behavior, you will always be in control of yourself and not risk subjecting yourself to warnings, code violations, point penalties, or even defaults.  By not showing any emotion, you can also avoid giving your opponent extra confidence.  Remember, you will almost always play better when you are in control of yourself.   
2.  Take Your Time:  Don’t rush yourself.  Take your time between points so that you can focus.  Be sure to drink water every time you change sides.   
3.  Take Charge:  Always pick up balls on the court so that you don’t trip and so that you can stay focused on your play. Do not serve unless you have two tennis balls.  When you are serving, always call the score loudly and clearly before you serve each point.   
4.  Keep The Ball In Play:  Most matches are won or lost due to too many unforced errors.  Keep the ball in play!   
5.  Hit The Ball With Depth:  By hitting the ball deep into your opponent’s court, you will keep him or her on the defensive and make him or her hit the ball short back to you.  To help you hit with depth, hit the ball at least three feet over the net and beyond the service line.   
6.  Find And Exploit Your Opponent’s Weakness(Es):  Find an hit to your opponent’s weaknesses rather than to his or her strengths.   
7.  Get Your First Serve In As Often As Possible:  By doing so, you will keep your opponent more off balance and perhaps win some easy points.  Take your time; bounce the ball.  If your first serve is not working, then consider using your second serve as your first serve until you regain your confidence.   
8.  Play Your Game By Focusing On Hitting Your Shots, Not On Winning:  By focusing on hitting your shots, you will have a better chance to win points.  If you focus on winning, you won’t focus on how to hit your shots.  Remember, play your game.   
9.  Never Let Up.  Never Give Up:  Try getting an early lead in the match.  If you get an early lead, don’t let up.  If you get behind in the match, never give up.  Remember, the match isn’t over until the very last point is played.   
10. Have Fun!:  Always remember that tennis is a great game and a lot of fun.  You’re out there to have fun.  Enjoy yourself!   
3. What things can I do to be a good tennis parent? 
Keep the following points in mind: 
• Remember, tennis is just a game.  While you may want your child's skills to improve, you also want your child to enjoy the game. It's a game for lifetime. 
• Don't put pressure on your child to win.  Instead, create a supportive environment in which your child wants to improve his or her game. 
• When your child has a private lesson with a pro, consider watching it from a distance in order to give your child and the pro some space. 
• Make sure that your child knows the "rules of the game," and what he or she may and may not do during a match.  For example, does your child know that he or she may not leave the court to go to the bathroom during a match without the permission of a referee?  Does your child know that he or she cannot leave the court to obtain a new racket if a string breaks on his or her racket? 
• Make sure that your child eats two hours before his or her first match and brings a jug of water to the match.  Your child may also want to bring a sports drink. 
• When your child is playing a tournament outdoors, be sure to bring sun block, a hat, and a towel for your child and a folding chair and an umbrella for yourself.  Also, consider bringing a folding chair for your child to use during the changeovers. 
• For all tournaments, make sure that your child brings his or her USTA card.   
• Be sure your child has extra tennis shirts, especially when the weather is hot or humid. 
• Be on time for matches.  If your child is late for a match, he or she can lose the toss and games and, if your child is more than 15 minutes late, be defaulted.  Note that many tournament directors request players to check in at least 15 minutes before a match is scheduled to begin. 
• Whenever possible, have your child stretch and warm-up before his or her first match each day. 
• After your child completes a match, be sure your child finds out the day and time of his or her next match. 
• Don't call the lines or the score for your child during a match.  Let your child call the lines and the score.  It is his or her responsibility to do so. 
• Don't coach your child during a match, except before it starts or during the ten-minute break before the third set if your child splits sets.  Remember there is no break between sets in the boys' and girls' 18s. 
• If your child splits sets and there is a ten-minute break between sets, make sure that your child knows that he or she could lose points and games if he or she does not return to the court on time. 
• You should be supportive of and encourage your child, but allow your child to make his or her own on court decisions for the development of the "person." 
• Don't applaud or cheer when your child's opponent makes a mistake. 
• Treat your child the same way whether he or she wins or loses. 
• Try to have fun and enjoy the tournaments.  Your unhappiness can breed a child's guilt. 
• Look relaxed, calm, positive and energized on the sidelines.  Your attitude will help the child play better. 
• Make friends with other parents at the event.  Socializing can make the event more fun. 
• Let the coach do the coaching.  Too much input can confuse the child. 
• Understand that a child needs a break from tennis occasionally.  It doesn't mean the child is quitting or burned out. 
• Be there when your child loses or gets discouraged.  Be an understanding listener, not a fixer. 
• At the same time, give the child some space when he or she loses.  Your child will want to be alone for a while, and then he or she will be okay.  Chances are he or she will not want to talk about the match in the car on the way home. 
• Keep your sense of humor.  When you laugh and have fun, your child's stress level takes a big drop. 
• Realize that your child may feel guilty about all of the time and money you are spending on his or her tennis if you are not careful.  It is important that he or she knows you don't look at tennis as an investment for which you expect a return. 
• Encourage your child to pursue realistic dreams and make sure you are not living out your dreams through his or her tennis. 
• Treat your child as an individual instead of comparing his or her progress with that of other children. 
• Use positive motivation instead of sarcasm and threats. 
• It is your responsibility to know the rules, regulations, endorsement procedures and deadline dates so that your child is given every possible chance to compete at all levels of tennis. 
B.  DO'S AND DON'T'S FOR TENNIS PARENTS 
By Jim Taylor, Ph.D. 
 FOR YOURSELF … DO …   
1. Get vicarious pleasure from their participation, but do not become overly ego-involved. 
2. Leave the coaching to the coaches. 
3. Try to enjoy yourself at tournaments. Your unhappiness can cause your child to feel guilty. 
4. Look relaxed, calm, positive, and energized when watching your child's matches. Your attitude influences how your child feels and plays. 
5. Have a life of your own outside of your children's tennis. 
 WITH OTHER PARENTS … DO …   
1. Make friends with other parents at the events. Socializing can make the event more fun for you. 
2. Work with other parents to ensure that your children's tennis participation is the most positive experience it can be. 
3. Volunteer as much as you can. Junior tennis depends upon the time and energy of involved parents. 
4. Police your own ranks. Work with other parents to ensure that all parents behave appropriately at practices and tournaments.  
WITH COACHES … DO …   
1. Give them any support they need to help them do their jobs better. 
2. Communicate with them about your children. You can learn about your children from each other. 
3. Inform them of relevant issues at home that might affect your children on the court. 
4. Work with them to ensure that your children's tennis participation is the most positive experience it can be. 
5. Inquire about the progress of your children. You have a right to know. 
 FOR YOUR CHILDREN … DO …   
1. Provide guidance for your children, but do not force or pressure them. 
2. Assist them in setting realistic goals for participation. 
3. Emphasize fun, skill development and other benefits of sports participation, e.g., cooperation, competition, self-discipline, commitment. 
4. Show interest in their participation: help them get to practice, attend matches, ask questions. 
5. Provide regular encouragement. 
6. Provide healthy perspective to help cilildren understand success and failure. 
7. Emphasize and reward effort rather than outcome. 
8. Intervene if your child's behavior is unacceptable during practice or matches. 
9. Understand that your children may need a break from tennis occasionally. It doesn't mean they are quitting or burning out. 
10. Give your children some space when needed. Part of sports participation involves them figuring things out for themselves. 
11. Keep a sense of humor. If you are having fun and laughing, so you will your children. 
12. Be a healthy role model for your children by being positive and relaxed at matches and by having balance in your life. 
13. GIVE THEM UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: SHOW THEM YOU LOVE THEM WHETHER THEY WIN OR LOSE!!! 
 FOR YOURSELF … DON’T …   
1. Base your self-esteem and ego on the success of your child's tennis. 
2. Care too much about how your child plays. 
3. Lose perspective about the importance of your child's tennis. 
4. Expect a payback. 
 WITH OTHER PARENTS … DON’T … 
1. Make enemies of other parents. 
2. Talk about others in the tennis community, talk to them. It is more constructive. 
3. Allow other parents to behave inappropriately at practice or tournaments.  
WITH COACHES … DON’T … 
1. Tell them how or what to coach. 
2. Interfere with their coaching during practice or matches. 
3. Work at cross-purposes with them. Make sure you agree philosophically and practically on why your children are playing tennis and what they may get out of tennis. 
FOR YOUR CHILDREN … DON’T … 
1. Interfere with practice or matches. 
2. Coach them. You may be working at cross-purposes with their coach. 
3. Ignore your children's bad behavior on the court. 
4. Ask the child to talk with you immediately after a match. 
5. Show negative emotions while watching their matches. 
6. Make your children feel guilty for the time, money, and energy you are spending and the sacrifices you making for their tennis. 
7. Think of your children's tennis as an investment for which you expect a return. 
8. Live out your own dreams through your children's tennis. 
9. Compare your children's progress with that of other children. 
10. Badger, harass, use sarcasm, threaten, or use fear to motivate your child. It only demeans them and causes them to hate you. 
11. Expect anything from your children except their best effort. 
12. Expect your children to get anything more from tennis than a good time, physical fitness, skills that will benefit them in other areas of their lives, and mastery of a lifetime sport. 
13. NEVER DO ANYTHING THAT WILL CAUSE THEM TO THINK LESS OF THEMSELVES OR OF YOU!!! 
C.   SUCCESSFUL TENNIS “PARENTING”  
Steve Wild, USPTA; Libertyville , IL
 Some might consider the title "Successful Tennis Parenting" an oxymoron. At least those honest with themselves would have to seriously consider the possibility. Much has been written on the subject. My comments will not be nearly as erudite as say, Jim Loehr's or other sports scientists, but intensely practical, reflecting many years in all three roles, player, coach and parent. 
 RULE #l: Wait a good half-hour to discuss a losing effort. If I had a nickel for every time I saw a parent launch into a tirade immediately after a match, I wouldn't be working for a living! This scenario is most popular in the younger age divisions. Little Johnny or Jeannie comes off the court decked out in Fila diapers and morn and dad are doing their best to imitate a couple of "Looney Tunes." The kid feels bad enough for losing. The parents only intensify the negative emotions. Is this sane behavior? To make matters worse, the poor little kid can't even defend himself. He has to take the abuse. A much more sane approach is to affirm the child after the match, win or lose, unless behavior was a significant problem. In which case, the situation should be dealt with without delay. After the passage of time, the player should be open to positive criticism. 
RULE #2: No one misses on purpose. Most parents act as if the player takes delight in missing easy shots on big points just to upset them. If more parents would "serve them up" now and then, they might realize that the game is a little more difficult than it looks from the sidelines. Jim Loehr had a good solution for this. He actually told one parent to enter five tournaments and win every one. Then report back. Eventually, the parent got the message. 
 RULE #3: Emphasize the process, not the result. Too many parents and coaches use the "Winning isn't the most important thing. It's the only thing" philosophy. In reality, most kids won't come close to being professionals, so why get crazy? Emphasize the methodology of becoming a player and reinforce the fun of playing the game. Yes, work can be fun! If the pain of losing overcomes the joy of playing, the junior will give up the game sooner or later. I have seen this time and again. Players that were phenomenal juniors just walk away from the game as soon as they get older. The pain is too great. 
 RULE #4: Never yank your kid from a drill court unless they are misbehaving. If a parent has a problem with the drill court assignments during a group lesson, handle it with the pro in private. Removing the child only reinforces the "I'm too good to hit with you" attitude. Adolescents suffer from too much bipolar thinking to begin with, this only makes matters worse. The optimal and fair way to handle drill court assignments should reflect what happens in "the real world.” Sometimes the opponent is better than, equal to, or less than a player. Drill courts should reflect this. For a player to play above or below his or her level continually is not good. The pro running the drill should have enough expertise to make this judgment. If not, consider a different program. It makes no sense to make parents and players miserable. 
RULE #5: Be reasonably involved with your child's tennis. In the seventies and early eighties, most tennis parents erred on the side of over-involvement with junior's tennis. Now the opposite is true. Oftentimes, I hear "we are letting Johnny handle his own tennis now." Imagine what would happen if Johnny handled all his own academic decisions! The optimal position is somewhere in the middle. Too much is no good and too little is equally as bad. The parent pays the bill and has a right to expect excellence in how the situation is managed. The parent's role is to make sure both the coach and the player are living up to their agreements, not to tell the coach and player how to play or teach. 
RULE #6: Never get into hassles with other parents, coaches, or players. Most junior tournaments should have a staff psychologist on hand. Not being a "shrink" myself, I wouldn't hazard a professional opinion, however, the psychological climate does not seem very healthy at most junior events. The aforementioned notwithstanding, be sure and stay cool even though emotions could be running hot I must confess that plenty of times I have felt like either screaming or punching someone. But then again, "Discretion is the better part of valor." If I have seemed overly harsh on parents it is because it is by far and away the toughest role. I have the gray hair to prove it!


