Does the term "de-facto standard" mean anything to you?
               -- Simon 
%
Maybe we are short of offensive fortunes.
               -- Thomas Overgaard 
%
[snippage of boobie-talk]
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
You mean that link *wasn't* intentional?
- -25 BOZO points for you mister.
And here I laughed thinking what great promise you held...
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Congratulations! You win. Thanks for playing. Now our announcer will
tell us all about your prizes.
               -- /dev/rob0 
%
+Chiron+ is a master of subtlety. He's so good at it that absolutely no
one can tell that he's subtle.
               -- /dev/rob0 
%
Q. Do you suffer from chronic laziness and distrib apathy?
               -- /dev/rob0 
%
... his subtlety shines forth as a beacon to the less enlightened. 
               -- Two Ravens 
%
[4] There is no 4 (tin4).
               -- /dev/rob0 
%
#INCLUDE=ssh-disclaimer.h /* ssh is better over insecure networks */
               -- /dev/rob0 
%
I think I missed the part where you mention why it's even remotely 
Slackware specific...

Reading again (carefully this time)

Nope, it really isn't in there, you must have forgotten to mention
that part.
               -- Bartosz Oudekerk 
%
Does EVERY emotion have to have some kind of pseudo-tags 
to it for you to appreciate a bit of humor?

And, FYI, my dick *is* bigger. 
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
The question to ask yourself, really, is "do I really need a long
sig or is a long sig the usenet equivalent of a penis extension?".
               -- Simon 
%
"Anger-Retaliatory (Displaced) behavior, in which high levels physical and 
sexual aggression service feelings of cumulative rage"

Are you feeling horny Bruce?

Do you want me to 'touch you there'? ;)
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Oh darn, a pathetic Google Troll has flamed me.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Nice try kid, come back when you've grown some hair on yer cashews.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
(I was just thinking to myself, we need a new flame war, Blackbox vs
Fluxbox is getting old and has become more of an alt.os.linux thing)
               -- AthlonRob 
%
sorry I must be today just too stoned to think and check
what I am writing.
               -- Arto Kojootti 
%
Oops.
That'll teach mne to answer posts when I can't even see straight. ;)
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Agreed. The only fix for KDE that I use is rm -rf /opt/kde. =)
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
If you need an answer "at the right time", BUY A FUCKING BOOK
               -- +Dave Sizemore+ 
%
There is no such thing as "trusted users".
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
I'll just let the stupidity of that statement speak for itself. 
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Fuck you, and fuck politeness. 
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
There is no need for childrens toys like fromdos.  You will worship at
the alter of sed!
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
you worship whomever you like, i'll just use those children's
toys. they'r easier. ;-)
               -- Joost Kremers 
%
Slackware lets *you* keep as many machines 'up2date' as you want, for free. ;)
               -- Bartosz Oudekerk 
%
No matter. Already we, the Perl users, control the horizontal. Soon we 
shall control the vertical. Then all your cpu cycles will be ours!
               -- Richard Williams
%
I do not think you are looking for a distro...you are looking for a
linux-based IT department to work for free.
               -- +Dave Sizemore+ 
%
The day that Slackware (and/or AOSLS) becomes an end-luser friendly 
"kissyhuggywarmN'fuzzy" hippie festival is the day that I switch to LFS.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Stop it, I'm tearing up over your sad tale of woe..
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
99.99999% of problems are end-luser-related.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Top-posting is also bad for your Karma.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Why did this require 44 lines of quoted text? 
               -- Two Ravens 
%
You have no more excuses for not using your brain.
Go away.
               -- +Chiron+
%
Yes.... I do know.... but I'll need your snail adress for that.
See I've got to kill you after I tell you. It's clasified.
               -- Bilbo 
%
Newsgroups: alt.linux
Slackware isn't a 'let me do this for you' distribution.
Slackwares *is* a "How do you want to do this' distribution that will not 
only require you to RTFM religiously, but will also require a working brain. 
(unlike these weak-assed, candy-coated distros that are popping up lately)
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Allow me to consecrate thy forehead with 'CLUE(tm)'.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Those Slackware users are weird- 
I don't mean weird in the "they are not like us" kind of weird, 
but in the "Welcome to the cult" kind of weird.
Its almost scary...
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Would Slackware by any other name be this smooth?
Slackware: Never has one been owed so much by so many.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
It is nobler to Slack than not to Slack.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Slackware users shall not be responsible for your using Redhat.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
The management would like to thank you for using Slackware.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Yo kid, tarballs /are/ package management.
%
                            This is RTFM.
          There are many like it but this one is /usr/man/.
                       RTFM is my best friend.
                           RTFM is my life.
            I must master RTFM as I must master Slackware.
                      Without me RTFM is useless.
                      Without RTFM I am useless.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
RTFM:Slackware::Beer:Saturday
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Hey little Geek, want some Slackware?
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
I used to use something before Slackware: But it's too painful to talk
about it. 
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Slackware: the quicker booter-upper.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Ther' be Slackware 'n them thar' harddrives.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Brush teeth | shower | dress | Slackware.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
RTFM is my shepherd.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
If only I could find a person with two X chromosomes that was half as
stable as Slackware.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Slackware loves me this I know, because my crontab tells me so.
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Oh I am sincere, this group saves me money.
               -- JD 
%
since when is vi an editor? a discussion on vi belongs in
comp.tools.unusable or something... ;-)
               -- Joost Kremers 
%
"Slackware needs some method of keeping current."

Slackware Linux is not meant to be operated "bare."

The recommended security configuration includes an incredible A.I.
system abbreviated as "S.Y.S.O.P."

Through its amazing abilities, the S.Y.S.O.P. system monitors a steady
feed of bug reports (the famed B.U.G.T.R.A.Q. system, first implemented 
in 1997 as an experiment in networking S.Y.S.O.P. systems over long 
distance, high latency networks in an asynchronus way) for information 
on what to do with the system. A S.Y.S.O.P. system will tirelessy 
maintain and care for your server installation, and can ever create 
whole new bits of software in the pursuit of its goals!

While those Debian people may be happy to just blindly apt-get-upgrade
their BIND installation every few weeks, and those poor Redhat users are 
forced to rpm -i --force --nodeps nearly ever single package they want,
it has been found that through proper use of a S.Y.S.O.P. system, you can 
ditch the automated upgrades and truly secure your system(s) once and for
all time! These amazing devices will also help end users if they are 
clustered sufficiently to prevent burnout.

An intelligient S.Y.S.O.P. -- no server should be without one!
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Forget "netiquette"(in this instance).  Your mother taught you it was polite
to say "thanks".  Do it for mom 
               -- +Dave Sizemore+ 
%
The only reason +Chiron+ hasn't reamed you a new one is cuz he passed out
from lack of oxygen while laughing at you.
               -- +Dave Sizemore+ 
%
Yes, I know I'm babbling.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Actually, I was reallyfuckingstoned and just couldn't bring myself to give 
a shit one way or the other. 
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Sure, we can be a vitriolic mixture of combustibles (most) some of the 
time, but at least the vast majority of posters in here KNOW WHAT THE FUCK 
THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. Even Floyd,
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Please engage your brain before posting.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
That's because only n00b13 luz3rz use Fluxbox. ;)
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Yes, I'm completely aware that this was a completely useless post.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Stop fucking quoting me! ;)
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Lindows is an over-priced, buggy, insecure piece of shit.
The CEO is a slimy, greedy, code-stealing fuckwit, who was *directly* 
responsible for Codeweavers/WINE having to change their licensing, 
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Don't shoot off your mouth like the ignorant newbie that you are, until you 
actually know what the fuck you're talking about "dipshit".
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
We're both just as guilty of 'newbie-friendliness'. ;)
We shoulda just yelled "RTFM!" and pointed the newbie towards the urls. =)
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
You should have done your homework.  As you are a troll, I know that
that is too much to ask.
               -- +Dave Sizemore+ 
%
You really need a hobby.  I believe alt.conspiracy.black.helicopters is
looking for a hat maker(BYOTF)[a]
[a] Bring Your Own Tin Foil
               -- +Dave Sizemore+ 
%
Love the Management
               -- Faux_Pseudo
%
(offerings of  RTFM or RTFFAQ's as advice, comments or solutions will be 
bozo-binned)
               -- "mr.e" 
%
I think you'll find he understood the question perfectly and answered it
for you.  The fact that you didn't ask what you wanted to know is not
his problem.
               -- Simon 
%
actually, i think the majority in this NG would much rather see you
take your leechy opportunistic "i'm lazy and you gotta tell me what i
wanna know" attitude elsewhere. usenet helps those that help
themselves.
               -- Joost Kremers 
%
look mom! i'm about to get plonked! ain't ya proud?
               -- Joost Kremers 
%
Don't get your hopes up, the fool probaly doesn't even
now what plonking means, let alone how to do it. ;)
               -- Bartosz Oudekerk 
%
He probably does know what it means but thinks it'll make him go blind.
               -- Billy Watt
%
begin  645 trojan.bat
@echo off
ExitToDOS.pif
rem Well that might get him if he's running Win9x. :)
rem Does anyone know a command to reboot NT/2K/XP?
               -- /dev/rob0 
%
You really are a tinfoil hat wearing motherfucker, ain't ya?
               -- +Chrion+
%
Doing that has all the credibility of screaming "I hate homosexuals", while 
wearing a leather G-string & leading the gay rights parade in downtown 
San Francisco, with a mouthful of cock. Get over yourself.
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Well, now that you mention it, it HAS been some time since our last
Virtual Homosexual Orgy and Bake Sale. Shall we schedule another one?
               -- /dev/rob0
%
Oh my. That's bad. I can't believe I wrote that. Let's just hope I don't
actually post this to the list. This has to be very damaging to my
karma. Perhaps it's not me? My Evil Twin again?
               -- /dev/rob0
%
Please troll for a while before you eat your pistol again.
               -- +David Sizemored+
%
Suggesting Slackware users just go get an RPM is like suggesting RedHat
users just apt-get things.  ;-)
               -- AthlonRob 
%
Have you run pppsetup? Do you have an ISP? Do you have a modem? Do you
have a phone? Does it take quarters? Did you look at the ppp-go script
to try to find out what exit code 4 meant? Did you sprinkle fresh
chicken blood around the monitor while chanting "Blaheya maya maya maya"
repeatedly?
               -- Handover Phist
%
Think I'll gather the kids 'round and break out the Opium.
               -- +Dave Sizemore+ In: alt.linux
%
Top-posting, non-trimming morons who post to *nix groups with MSOE don't
get to complain about *SHIT* in here.
               -- +Chiron+
%
Come back when you get a fucking clue.
               -- +Chiron+
%
I learn more every day, so in a couple of years I might become a hated
regular (tm) or even one of the BOZO's. That's one of the prospects
that keeps me going. 
               -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Yes, but discretion is the better part of divorce avoidance. After
looking at some pics, I want to be able to hunt up a poke that isn't
angry at me.
               -- Handover Phist 
%
Take your excuses elsewhere, warez kiddie, you're NOT part of the Linux 
movement, and you're certainly not helping anyone - much less your criminal 
record, by your actions.
               -- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
Aren't YOU cocky for being an ignorant newbie?
               -- +Chrion+
%
Slackware [...] An installer that works right, configuration is done
by editing config files (very consistent, no dozen of different GUI
config tools). Stable. 
[...] The clueless masses may want a working system without having to
do anything for it, but they probably aren't getting it. 
               -- Wim Libaers
%
> X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2720.3000
I don't exactly expect you to have a functioning brain, much less
understand the intricacies of Usenet usage.
               -- +Chiron+ In: In alt.os.linux
%
*slap* *slap*
"You like that, bitch?"
*slap* *slap*
"You want some more, bitch?"
*slap* "
Yeah?"
*slap*
"Uh, huh!"
*slap*
"That's right, byatch!"
*slap* *slap*
Care to get bitch-slapped again?
               -- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
S.Y.S.O.P.
S.lackware s.YS.tem O.f P.ackaging
               -- +Chiron+
%
> English isn't my primary language.
You had enough English to be insulting to two of the regulars in this 
group. Try being more careful in your use of a second language.
               -- Two Ravens
%
Fuck off, asshole.  If I need any more shit from you I'll drop by and
give your head a squeeze.  
               -- [alledgedly Pat V.]
%
I ain't LOVE-in' on nobody till they give me the results of a current 
blood-test - much less some retarded, ass-backward newbie.
               -- +Chiron+
%
So, below, you'll find everything you need to know to solve your problem:
Minus any spaces in the paragraph.
Let's call it a 'symbol' of the SPACE and TIME you just wasted in both mine 
and your lives. [...]
YesIcanhelpyouwithyourproblem,absolutely.However,sinceyouseemtolike[...]
               -- +Chiron+
%
There's almost nothing like being an elitist, nerdy prick-
Is there? ;)
               -- +Chiron+ 
%
Umm...perhaps one should "lurk" before one "trolls"
+Dave Sizemore+ 
%
You could really use a clue.  "I'd like to buy a clue, Pat(Pat-get it? :P)
+Dave Sizemore+ 
%
If you're looking for something more, you need to
tell us what it is; cat /dev/mind doesn't work.
               -- Keith Keller
%
Not all yes-or-no questions can be answered with yes or no.  :)
               -- Keith Keller
%
Could you tell us lazy, ignorant, impolite newbies where to find out
more about SYSOP, please? 
               -- A. Lucien Meyers
%
Why seek out pain when pain will inevitably seek you out soon?
               -- Keith Keller
%
Yer posting with GNUS on a debian box....and you dont get it?!?
               -- Handover Phist 
%
Newspapers are cheaper than books, buy one, read it, if
it mentions Elvis, ya got the wrong one, go get another one.
               -- Handover Phist 
%
Tu est fou, toi.  Pourquoi tu ne peux pas juste partir?
               -- "/dev/rtcg" 
%
it still doesn't matter since I want 'em face down & ass up anyways ;)
*whap!*
Who's your Centaur?!?
*cough*
Um..
               -- +Chiron+
%
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT CREDIBILITY WITH THE *NIX WORLD LIKE THIS?
               -- +Dave Sizemore+
%
Slackware because newbies should RTFM.
                   -- Richard James
%
Slackware its not just another distro its another way of saying RTFM.
                   -- Richard James
%
RTFM a day makes the Slackware Bozo go away.
                   -- Richard James
%
I think my creative talent has left me at this time. Perhaps it will
be back  another day. 
                   -- Richard James
%
Slackware for when you want to understand whats going on.
                   -- Richard James
%
Slackware because the console is where it counts.
                   -- Richard James
%
Slackware, its multithreaded
                   -- Richard James
%
Nobody ever got fired for buying Slackware.
                   -- Richard James
%
If your brain is small don't use Slackware.
                   -- Richard James
%
Slackware its not just a substitute for a small ....
                   -- Richard James
%
Slackware, RTFM and lets party.
                   -- Richard James
%
Slackware the penguin does smoke.
                   -- Richard James
%
Slackware, for you when your all grown up and ready to leave Aunty
RedHats house of milk and GUIs.
                    -- Andy McDowell
%
Slackware, for when your sick and tired of being insulted by yet another
stupid installation tool.
                    -- Andy McDowell
%
Slackware - tux on steroids!
                    -- Andy McDowell
%
Slackware - leave the GUI behind!
                    -- Andy McDowell
%
Slackware - boot it, love it, live it!
                    -- Andy McDowell
%
9 out of 10 dead nobel physicists would have installed Slackware... if
only they'd been given the chance!
                    -- Andy McDowell
%
Slackware.  What doesn't stop you only makes you better.
               -- notbob
%
Slackware.  Do it yourself or do without.
               -- notbob
%
Slackware.  Only the serious need apply.
               -- notbob
%
Slackware users:  Klingons of the computing world.
               -- AthlonRob
%
Slackware:  The distro of the Literate.
               -- /dev/rtcg
%
Slackware:  If you need pictures, go elsewhere.
               -- /dev/rtcg
%
but don't worry, I'll plonk you anyway.
		-- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
... because, as is demonstrated here, scripting is fun.
And useful. And all. Keeps my Inner Moron at bay.
		-- Glenn Becker
%
Yes, I'm a mosquito sifter.
		-- /dev/rob0
%
*Real* men use "telnet news.server 119" to read and post Usenet. ;)
		-- /dev/rob0 In: comp.os.linux.security
%
Of course, just because something's correct don't make it right.  :)
		-- Keith Keller
%
In that case you are needlessly nitpicking 
and wasting bandwidth on a non-issue.
		-- Faux_Pseudo In: rec.games.roguelike.nethack
%
I'm quite capable of creating my own words, thank you.
		-- William Hunt
%
note that the T in RTFM can mean, The This or That,
note that the F can mean, Fine Friendly Full Freaking
Fabulous, etc.  How you receive F is a variable function
of your own self.
		-- William Hunt
%
Unfortunately, that is something i simply cannot help you with.
But i do appreciate that a cognitive dissonance disorder must be
a difficult malady to suffer.
		-- William Hunt
%
Stop posting entirely till someone more intelligent than you configures 
your system corrrectly.
		-- +Chiron+ 
%
MMM...If 'hard ass' is going to be anything like BOZO(tm), I wanna get in on
the top tier of this one.
		-- +Dave Sizemore+
%
I'm thinking a simple heirarchy, like 'hardest ass', 'hard ass',
'moderately hard ass', 'somewhat firm ass', etc. 
		-- +Dave Sizemore+
%
Perhaps you are too l337 ha><0r for us?
		-- +Dave Sizemore+
%
honors like this should not be given lightly but rather most properly
auctioned off to the 'highest' bidder. 
		-- William Hunt
%
the art of clowning is an ancient art, not easily learned, professional
clowns work long and hard to perfect their art
		-- William Hunt
%
the Court Jester was the only one in the Court free to think for
themselves and to speak their own mind.
		-- William Hunt
%
Knode is a Krappy News Klient for KDE.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
You ignorant, mewling twit, 
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
It would have been really hard typing this message to you on a computer and 
STILL remaining the constellation sagitarrius, you know.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
You just gave me an erection.
Wanna touch it?
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
I didn't realize that you were interested in my sexual appeal.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
I'm not queer, but if you're interested I'd be willing to sell you some 
pictures of my dick if you're feeling really hard up.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
I'm simply enjoying toying with you as you gunt and squeal your way across 
this virtual landscape like the little circus piggy that you are.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
See? Not a single bad was used, and you still ended-up looking like a twit.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
I only wish that I could hear your inner child screaming as I
valiantly removed the rug from under your ego's little house of
cards.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
And THAT, kids, is how you flame newbies without mercy.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
Linux in the hands of a clueless sysadmin can indeed be very dangerous.
Linux in the hands of a good sysadmin can be very strong, stable, and
secure.
Windows in the hands of ANY sysadmin is ... Windows.
		-- /dev/rob0 In: comp.os.linux.security
%
Take your medications Paul.  Then learn to read.
		-- Floyd Davidson In: comp.os.linux.setup
%
THINK...then hit 'reply'.
		-- +Chiron+ 
%
Those of us reading this thread that enjoy a good anal closeup know
*exactly* what I'm talking about here. Tis a wonderful thing to
see. Makes you cry. =) 
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.linux
%
Do you at least get a semi? =)
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.linux
%
I've insulted you WAY worse than Faux did, and you didn't KF me.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.linux
%
My ass looks TEN times as good as his scrawny ass does.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.linux
%
I'm a lean, mean, butt-flexin' machine!
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.linux
%
I have this massive pr0n collection of black men fisting each other
and giving oral sex to dogs.  So not only do I have shit all over my
display its all over my hard drive too and I need a better FS to
handle all of my twisted needs.  Are there any pr0n freaks out there
who have figured out what the best fucking FS for fucking fucks is?
		-- Faux_Pseudo In: alt.linux But: not about him.
%
My ass looks TEN times as good as his scrawny ass does.
Sure, I'm stockier than Faux, but think of what all those generations
of Slave blood does for the ass muscles
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.linux
%
We've already established that your mother is mentally ill. ;)
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.linux
%
you too can be an AOLS Bozo!  Send $10 for information now!
		-- William Hunt
%
You don't get to apologize until AFTER we've flamed you
		-- +Chiron+
%
top-posters will inherit the earth
		-- robert w hall
%
Welcome to Slackware: I hope it's as good for you as it has been for me.
		-- /dev/rob0
%
Ever try to read 'man bash' when you're really high?
It's not a pretty sight. =)
		-- +Chiron+
%
Faux: Why do women always have to get in the way between a geek and a
computer.   
+Chiron+: Becuase women are evil. They take noi greater pleasure than
in sucking every last drop of joy out of a man's life.  
And chocolate. They like chocolate too. =)
%
So I suppose that if I called you a clueless ass-muncher you'd fuind that 
offensive as well, correct?
		-- +Chiron+
%
Vi has one purpose, and should be used only for that purpose.
To configure Emacs for compilation.
		-- Floyd Davidson
%
Hay man, Slackware is all about choice when it comes to
configuration.  Some people use vi and some use emacs.
		-- Faux_Pseudo In: comp.os.linux.setup
%
well ya know, a getty is like a thingamabob, only
instead of a dohickey there is a whatchamacallit,
but they're pretty handy things to use, unless you
really need a dohickey to begin with, in which case
you're better off sticking with the thingamabob. now,
if you take it to a farmer and he says, "whut the hell
is that thing?", then you can be pretty sure that dog
won't hunt, but if he gives you a dollar then put the
show on the road and you'll be home for dinner. just
don't mix up the frobbish and it should be allright.
		-- William Hunt
%
Had I known that you wanted to suck my dick so badly I would have offereed 
you first dibs instead of flirting with my "Thunder Down Under"
		-- +Chiron+
%
The next time I'm in need of a good blow job, you'll be the FIRST one that 
I'll be sure to contact. =)
		-- +Chiron+
%
"Gustibus non disputandum est!"
"each one with his own craziness".
		-- Stan Flatto
%
Hmm Switch to base four 22[4] you won't get that confused unless you where
after ternary 22[3] which is version 8[10]. The difference between 8[10]
and 10[10] is 2[10] or two. in base two binary, 10[10] is 1010[2]. Now
1010[10] in decimal, is equal to ( 0[2] + 1[3] + 10[4] + 100[5] + 1000[6] )
times four Plus the number of letters in the English alphabet
		-- Richard James
%
We are at war with EurGentoo.  We have always been at war with EurGentoo.
We have never been at war with EastGentoo.
		-- "Cr|pon"
%
Bob Dobbs vacates his bowels in Farley's breakfast cereal, for indeed, his 
droppings do remain crunchy in milk.
		-- +Chiron+
%
you know just as well as I do that $PAPERS != $IQ 
		-- Faux_Pseudo
%
From his secret underwater base, he sits stroking his white cat. A
clawed hand crippled with hatred reaches out to a large red button.
"Patrick will rue the day he dared tangle with me!" he cries, "Squeeze
my head will he!!"...
		-- Blumf
%
I mean, seriously:
When's the last time that you *really* took a moment to appreciate the 
crazy-like-a-fox genius behind something so simple as a 'pipe'?
bash~# echo blah | uuencode > blah.uue
		-- +Chiron+
%
A: Because it upsets the natural flow of reading.
Q: Why is top posting so rude?
		-- Springfield
%
Until all of her variables come back online, I've been told that I'll have 
to make due with 'touch'ing my own inodes and/or grepping my own pipe.
		-- +Chiron+ 
%
You see, every time I try to ping her ports I get "access denied", 
"Go fsck yourself", or "cannot mount: incorrect filesystem".
		-- +Chiron+
%
I've suggested that she bring home some of her co-workers for a 
little NAT action on our LAN, but all my packets keep getting dropped.
		-- +Chiron+
%
I'd tell you more about the Sacred Brotherhood of BOZOS over in AOSLS, 
but then I'd have to bring in the goat & a bucket of lard & rm -rf / your 
exisiting linux distribution. =)
		-- +Chiron+
%
YOU wrote applewriter!?!?! [...]
Holy fucking shit on a shingle.
I've been conversing with a legend... 
		-- +Chiron+
%
I can't count how many times I've stumbled drunk and happy, into a
dark room just to find myself waylaid by a barrage of multi-shaped,
scattered female shoes. I feel like I must traverse the room like a
paranoid, shell-shocked veteran on the lookout for claymores. 
		-- argan0n
%
That doesn't mean you aren't a stupid fuck.
		-- AthlonRob
%
that was not a how-to
that was a why-it-works-that-way :)
		-- Jurgen Philippaerts
%
Slackware: we ARE the Joneses. Can you keep up?
		-- /dev/rob0
%
That's Red Hat for ya.  They like to live on the bleeding edge, but leave all the bleeding up to  you. It's insanity for them to include beta-level software in a *supposed*  stable release. Especially something as critical as the compiler.  
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
i *am* a nice guy. (and if you don't believe it, go f*** yourself.)
		-- Joost Kremers
%
I'm going to share with you a simple 3 step process that will solve
nearly all your Slackware problems. 1. GAFC 2. RTFM 3. STFW
		-- Morgan Landry
%
Me: MOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Mom: <turns on lights> Morgan? Are you all right?
Me: They were just awful, Mommy! Just awful! They were everywhere...
Mom: Tell me about the bad dream you had.
Me: Well, all these Windows 98 users decided to all switch to
Slackware!  And they made it autorun and work automatically, just like
in Windows! And they made Slackware bloated, Mommy! Bloated as Windows
XP! It was just awful! They were everywhere...
Mom: That *is* scary, Morgan. But we both know that's never going to
happen. Only dedicated Slackers use Slackware.
Me: You're right, Mom. Slackware's only for a gifted few. Thanks for
the reminder.
Mom: Sure. Good night, sweetie. Pleasant dreams. <turns off lights>
Me: Good night.
		-- Morgan Landry
%
"One Bozo, answering another hundred wanna-be's questions:
That's not what I'd call a *Community*, That's *Charity*."
		-- +Chiron+
%
Here is a screenshot of the installer:<snip cut and past of slackware
installer>  Of course, if you have a color screen, it will support
colors, and the question marks will be solid fills instead.  But the
user interface should be the same.
		-- lobotomy
%
I just told disbeliever the truth. Or is truth-telling 
considered flaming around here?
		-- Morgan Landry
%
Slackware is not for you.
You do not possess the Tao.
		-- +Chiron+
%
*please* someone hit him with the clue stick. i'm not wasting any
more words on it.
		-- Jurgen Philippaerts
%
Your facts aren't.
		-- Floyd Davidson In: comp.os.linux.setup
%
Being *new* to AOSLS isn't a problem.
People acting like dumbasses, *is*.
		-- +Chiron+
%
The HOWTOs, man pages, FAQs and guides are as specific as they need to
be for Slackware since there is nothing "specific to Slackware".
Thats why we like it.  
	   -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Slackware is the 0000 and the ffff.
	   -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Welcome to the anarchy of usenet where the strong thrive and the weak
just get on everyone else's nerves.  
		-- Alan Hicks
%
The newbie needed to attempt to solve the problem first before s/he
got help.  That's how things are done in the hacker sub-culture.
		-- Morgan Landry
%
But you are an idiot that can learn.  You trimmed and you didn't top
post.  Very nice.  You get a cookie.
		-- Faux_Pseudo
%
The first post would have me suspect he rebuilt since he said
"./configure;make;make install"...what would that indicate to you?
		-- JSpazi
%
/configure --prefix-post-without=assholes && make && make install
		-- Simon
%
Drop the newbie "You guys owe me" attitude and you'll find that many of us
are quite willing to help, providing you don't act like an asshole and piss
everyone off.
		-- +Chiron+ In: alt.os.linux
%
Linux is one of, if not _the_ most documented OS's of all time.
		-- +Chiron+
%
You know your eyesight is really bad when decades are a blur.  :)
		-- Simon
%
You don't want me to flame you. Trust me.
		-- +Chiron+
%
The evidence at hand strongly suggests that a cognitive discontinuity
exists between the contents of an article and your replies to that article.
Expressed in the vernacular, "you just don't get it".
		-- William Hunt
%
I'm aware of my quirks and that's what my wife is for. She'll be going
through my work and de-"me"ing it.
		-- Handover Phist
%
I'd call you a boneheaded moron, only I'm too nice. You'll just have to 
take that as implied.
		-- George Georgakis
%
If I can't:
Cat it, cut it, grep it, sort it, less it, pipe it
Then fuck it.
		-- +Chiron+
%
If you are incapable of formulating questions, then perhaps Slackware is
not the right distribution for you.  May I suggest Windows?
		-- William Park
%
"We are Bozo.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is flamebait."
		-- Keith Keller
%
Consider yourself flamed, not because I dislike you, but because I wish
to protect my community, this newsgroup, from the inane babble you and
those like you bring here.  Got a problem with it?  Flame me back.
From: Alan Hicks
%
+Chiron+: Troll season!
Sacred: Bozo season!
+Chiron+: Troll season!
Sacred: Bozo season!
+Chiron+: Troll season!
Sacred: Bozo season!
+Chiron+: Bozo season!
Sacred: Troll season!
Keith: Okeley-dokeley....
*PLONK!*
From: Keith Keller
%
Lithen vewy vewy qwietly.  I'm hunting twollth.  :)
From: Simon
%
Thus ends my first and final foray into the world of flashy
kitchen-sink distros.  I'm now on my knees begging the gods of slack
for forgiveness.  I have forsaken them.  I shall not do so again.  I
have learned my lesson. 
From: joe neal
%
DISCLAIMER:  The above comments are not meant to be offensive.  If they
are, +Chrion+ made me do it.  :^)
From: Alan Hicks
%
Bark, bitch-boy, Bark!
From: +Chiron+
%
I figured they were shooting for the whole "I'm using this version cause
it was one of the last to include full disclosure of the source-code, and
my using it gives 'credence' to my masturbatory delusions of becoming an
uber ha><><0r, thus "proving" how zup3r-|<001 31337 3y3 4m" spin on things.
From: +Chiron+
%
I am a newbie!!
From: Lee
%
*This propaganda was brought to you by the BOFH Union 666*
From: +Chiron+
%
<insert previously skipped flame here>
From: Jurgen Philippaerts
%
  Come one!  Come all!
Tell my fellow BOZOs to gather together at the sacred junction, / , where
all  begin and end.
From: Alan Hicks
%
The installation should be done with just a slight buz.
From: Kurt
%
This is either a silly attempt at a joke, or a genuine
attempt at an insult. If the former, then you may wish
to rethink your sense of humour. If the latter, then
let me know and I'll return the insult in some
slightly more imaginative way.
From: Carl Inglis
%
If you google it, it will come.
From: Drew
%
I guess we're waiting out another cycle of trolls. I wonder
how long this one will last? 
From: keith Keller
%

Yet another shining candidate for a retro-active abortion. ;)
From: +Chiron+
%
Therefore, in summary, "Screw You."
From: Carl Inglis
%
Wow, you must see a lot. I'm impressed. Try LSD -- that way at least
your delusions will be more colourful.
From: /dev/rob0
%
Linux seems to be advancing quite well, regardless of our egos.
From: William Hunt
%
Actually, he said "arrogant asses".  We generally prefer the term Bozo.
From: Keith Keller
%
Thought I plonked ya yesterday, but here we go again.
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
I would suggest you
get a little help.  Ask yer mommy what her therapist's name is.
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
Slackware is not intended as a distribution for idiots, but for
people competent enough to help themselves. 
From: David Kastrup
%
"We are Bozo.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is flamebait."
From: Ke(n|ith) Keller
%
Is troll season over yet?
From: Keith Keller
%
Which is why people post questions here. They /want/ to hear flames, and
  can't wait for the thrilling moment when they receive not only an
answer, but a precious place on someone's kill file. I mean, it's not as
if they expect answers!
From: Jordan Benedict Gray
%
As for RTFM and STFW, they're common sense, one would think.
From: Jordan Benedict Gray
%
Take a wild guess what a 5 cartons of smokes would mean to your asshole on
a nightly basis. Go ahead. Think about it.
From: +Cibao+
%
I think the worst thing possible for this NG would be if the Bozos were to
decamp somewhere else leaving the clueless noobs and the "be nice to each
other" crowd alone in the void.
From: Billy Watt
%
I'll tell you what's small. Your goddamn ability to have clue.
From: eaglecleveland 
%
As I've said before, the speed, effectiveness, and willingness of regulars
on this NG to carry on flaming beyond making a point could be a good
indicator of just how stable Slackware is if this is all long-time users
have to do with their time. :)
From: Mike-UK
%
Your needs are being fulfilled, you feel like a man, almost human. And
*just* when you think you've actually accomplished something in your
pitiful life...

*plonk*
From: eaglecleveland
%
but I have the audience. Therefore I am god, 
From: john
%
# tar cf - pr0n/ | (cd /home/boss;tar xvf -)

That raise oughtta come through Real Soon Now.
From: Keith Keller
%
I can't find it on lsackware home site.....
From: "KrzychuW"
%
 From: Tom@Toms.NET (Tom Oehser)
From: Tom@Toms.NET (Tom Oehser) -- tomsrtbt
%
If a person can't ask one question like, 'how much does this system cost
without Bill Gates' personal license-to-print-money s/w you kindly been
a complete pain in the arse and installed'? Then that to me says they're
probably not ready for something that requires much more thinking and
problem solving; like linux.
From: Andy McDowell
%
And you have just made me realise something. To all the regulars I have
spoken out in hasty words for saying 'RTFM' to clueless _and_ lazy
people who ask for a spoonfeeding rather than some knowledge... I
sincerely apologise and humbly bow my head in sudden understanding of
what you actually meant all this time.
From: Andy McDowell
%
Linux is not for the masses, because it does require (sometimes
substiantially) more grunt behind the forehead than most of the masses
have, or are willing to use. I'm am not being a high brow
intellectualist prick when I say this. Its just one of those facts of
life. 
From: Andy McDowell
%
I have no-clue when it comes to cars. I do not have the first clue in
how to drive a F1 car, and its a pure mystery how the hell it works to
me. However if all of a sudden I wanted one, should I first ask the F1
manufacturers to slow the car down, and add in nice seats and take out
that dangerous under-the-bonnet stuff that makes it hoon along like a
balistic missle with a stearing wheel, in order to make it nice and
'safe' for me? Or rather, should I instead maybe do a sort of learning
apprenticeship and bring my abilities up to speed with the car?
From: Andy McDowell
%
Linux would be satan's own curse should it ever be installed on her
computer. [Which makes me think it would be funny to install FreeBSD
on her machine, which has the cool little ascii art pitchfork satan
as one of its screensavers. I could say the devil made me do it :-)
Ok, bad joke! :-)] 
From: Andy McDowell
%
linux will help you with the 'make it so' bit.
From: Andy McDowell
%
Slackware - Because I know what I'm doing
From: Lew Pitcher
%
I hate to post here, I really do.  It almost means I've failed... 
From: namor
%
Wisdom does not always have to be shiny and smooth to the touch!
Encouragement can be as much a kick in the arse, as a pat on the back!
From: Andy McDowell
%
RTFM is not a dirty word
From: Andy McDowell
%
Encouragement can be as much a kick in the arse, as a pat on the back!
From: Andy McDowell
%
People in this newsgroup, for example, can be rather cruel, petty, and
overly harsh. That's why they're called bozos, and I'm proud to be
one of them. :)  
From: Morgan Landry
%
if you're smart enough to post your question to usenet, you're smart
enough to search the archive of this group for your exact same
problem with solution.
From: Jurgen Philippaerts
%
your understanding of women is as shallow as your understanding of
men. 
From: William Hunt
%
you're starting to get that eerie feeling that you are becoming
superfluous.
From: Joost Kremers
%
it sounds like you're bitter because you can't get any head. 
From: Jordan Benedict Gray
%
Welcome to Slack!  Prepare to bang your head on your desk a lot! 
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
How did you escape my KF?
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
Oh look, a retard that types! Your mother must be so proud!
From: Andy McDowell
%
Keep trying though little camper. Your only a few points away from
reaching 'complete fucking idiot', so don't give up!!
From: Andy McDowell
%
Personally I think the reason usenet is male oriented is it comes
down to the reasons that people come to the usenet in the first place:
computer help, pr0n and the ability to get into a heated fight with
complete strangers while in your underwear.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
The only good windows is X-windows.
From: MadDairyFarmer
%
The voices in my head are better Perl programmers than I.
Fortunately they can't take my job.
From: Keith Keller
%
Yes, we are turning newbies into gurus, and whiners into memories.
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
... old modem systems are like hamsters
carrying floppydisks on their backs.
From: Richard James
%
slrn's ''archaic'' look comes from displaying only text.  For some,
this is a good thing.  Others don't care.  A few demand being able
to see the blink tags of others.  They're <blink>morons</blink>.
From: Keith Keller
%
You can run the slackware box headless if you like, although
personally I'd run the XP box cordless and stick with slack.
From: Matt van de Werken
%
Please note that I
a. Placed my reply after yours.  i.e., not top-posted.  Also:
b. Trimmed non-relevant info from my reply as to keep it short, but
informative.
These little tips are brought to you by rfc 1855
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
God said to the world, "The lurkers shall inherit the earth"!
From: Andy McDowell
%
Love the Slack. Run the Slack, Rule with the Slack!
From: Andy McDowell
%
Slackware Linux-
When you absolutely, positively have to control every aspect of YOUR
machine-
From: +Cibao+
%
If you can't figure out where/what to ask then you shouldn't be using
Slackware.
From: Keith Keller
%
Give yourself a sysadmin point.  
From: Alan Hicks
%
Doh!  You lost your sysadmin point.
From: Alan Hicks
%
There's plenty of distros lately, all scrambling to be more like M$
Windows than the next, if that's all you're looking for. Slackware is
something better. Something different. We don't imitate - we innovate.
From: +Chibao+
%
Don't thank me for the quotes.  Thank the people who made them.  I
mearly cut and past.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
I think we need to set up a new newsgroup:
news://comp.linux.conffessions
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
I have walked in the valley of bad gui programs
I am ready to change my ways.
From: paul wisehart
%
xemacs-21.4.8 it's not just an editor it's another waste of disk
space
From: Chris Sorenson
%
Fluxbox and Rox-filer, because my slow computer (1300MHz with 512MB
DDR)
just ain't fast enough to run KDE or Gnome.
From: Eamon Skelton
%
none of us like defaults, that's why we use slackware. se [sic] we can
set our own defaults.
From: Jurgen Philippaerts
%
Yes. You assume that we're nice people who are eager to help you, and
wish not to hurt your sensitive feelings. That's just not who we are
around here. We are bozo. 
From: Morgan Landry 
%
Grrr...ph34r the PMS-ing Bozette. ph34r...
From: Morgan Landry 
%
Nope, we're arrogant towards anybody who won't GAFC, RTFM and STFW.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
I *am* rude, and yes I *am* damn proud of it. And yes, *do* fuck
off.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
It isn't the size of your PGP key that counts, but how you use
it.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
BL [BasicLinux] 1.x is maintained by me.
From: Hetteh
%
If you want "wizards" and "druids"...you'd better go to LOTR
Linux...Latest version is also known as "The Two Towers" 8^)))...I
heard the next release will be shipping next December (codename "The
Return of the King")...It's been developed by a 9-people-team known as
"The Fellowship of the Ring". It's been rumored that are too many bugs
(known as "Ringwraiths") to fix so it's not known if it will be ready
for the release date...This distro really rocks, you just put a ring
(shipped with the CD's) in your finger and everything is configured
and ready to run...Only one warning: NEVER EVER POINT YOUR BROWSER to
www.mordor.com , the results are unpredictable...
From: Felipe
%
If you build Linux from scratch and add a few administration
scripts, your personal distro would be very close to Slackware. 
From: Felipe
%
My ancestors assisted a silly group of protestant refugees in doing
that exact thing in 1776, or so the history books claim. 
From: +Cibao+
%
So the next AOLS Mode Quote FAQ posting will be use Discordian format
since everyone knows how to read that.  The Irony.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Just think: In no time at all we'll have you lined up with your very
own goat & bucket 'o lard, praising Bob and all his prophecies. =P
From: +Cibao+
%
The CLI is an open-textbook, multiple-choice exam with endless
possibilities.
From: +Cibao+
%
Give a user and answer and he will come looking for another one.
Teach a person to look for an answer and he will find them for the
rest of his life.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Give a user a solution and he will beg to be put do death after 3
calls to the help desk.  Teach them to find an answer on there own
and deliver unspecified sums of money to secret locations at regular
intervals and he will stay alive for ever.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
BOZOs don't give out fish.  They use the power of LART so that others
may GAFC, STFW, RTFM.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Ask not what you can do for newsreader, but what your newsreader can
do for you.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
There are already numerous documents which to describe how to search
google, an example being... Nah, you can google for them.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Short story: RedHat is evil. Slackware is good.
From: Felipe
%
Post your self-promotions elsewhere, where they are on-topic.
Might I suggest alt.clueless.asshole-spammer?
From: +Cibao+
%
so, you seem to be missing some things. did you want someone to
install it for you, or can you do it yourself?
From: Jurgen
%
"* * * * * do-what-im-thinking-but-only-if-its-not-stupid"
From: Keith Keller
%
Damn. What happened to the days when we actually used to have
_intelligent_ Trolls lurking on Usenet? (Yes, I know, it's scary -
but there was such a time.) Now all we seem to get is these MCSE
totin', MSOE-postin', clueless fuckwits who'd have a hard time
finding their way out of a sleeping bag. =)
From: +Cibao+
%
It's not ''they'', you fuckwit!  We are Bozo.  You will be
assimilated.
From: Keith Keller
%
My 9.0 install is as stable as Oprah Winfrey holding her spot in a
buffet line. 
From: Leonard the Committed
%
Thanks for any help, clue-by-fours, words of derision! =)
From: LRW
%
Perhaps I'll become less dumb one day....  But there's
very little chance :-))
From: mojo
%
Bill - can I call you Bill? - Get a fucking clue, you nimrod.
From: +Cibao+
%
... we salute you and your efforts to think first and Google
second.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Depending on when you installed it, that could be
record uptime for underwear.
No, I just remembered my cousin Randy.  It probably
isn't.
From: fLameDogg
%
This is a public service message brought to you by everyone who has
lost a keyboard reading alt.os.linux.slackware:  Don't drink and
Slack.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Here, my humble audience, we have another unsolicited testimonial of
the power of Bozo.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
You, however, are obviously highly immune to clue.
From: fLameDogg
%
You offer nothing but a whiny attitude that makes people wish there
was a qualification exam you had to take to buy a computer.
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
As far as a full install being safer, I don't know.  That may depend
on what the meaning of the word "is" is.
From: fLameDogg
%
The fact that you're using a desktop PC does not mean you don't want a
secure, fast, simple and stable system - and that's where Slackware
shines. 
From: Felipe
%
Just have your handy welder man weld you up a box that gives plenty of
room and has room and holes for cooling it, with a door, then put one
of those two hundred dollar padlocks that cannot be cut off easily or
picked (A torch will do it though). This is 1/2 inch steel plate and
probably weights at min a 100 pounds, clean it and prime it and paint
it the color of your favorite Ferrari, as many coats as you're willing
to do. Be sure to prep and prime it inside and out for rust protection
with a good heavy primer and maybe a good coating on the inside that
doesn't attract dirt.
From: Mr. Meval
%
It's not like I started calling you a sheep-fucker or anything. 
From: +Cibao+
%
You top-posted, telling someone to loosen the permissions on their
audio devices, and you're calling him a lamer?  
From: Simon 
%
Maybe he does a full install to /dev/null?
From: Simon 
%
This is *very* interesting !
Some folks tell u to read the FAQ for the answer to ur Q.
Then u decide that u won't because this idea doesn't reflect
your opinion on what should b there ????
How brilliant :D)
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Does GOOGLE not work on your planet or something?
From: +Cibao+
%
Oh, you're such a great grammarian.  Too bad your linux skills are
for shit.
From: Keith Keller
%
I think my point was that you should stick your head back up your ass,
because when you pull it out long enough to post to usenet you make a
fool of yourself.
From: Keith Keller
%
Here's a funny factoid: I'm not a "gamer" - but I do confess to
enjoying setting a room of "bad guys" on fire occasionally. =P
From: +Cibao+
%
Feed a fever starve a troll.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
If you don't "like" or approve of the way that someone answers a post,
lead
by example and answer the post in the way you feel it should be done,
or simply ignore it.
From: +Cibao+
%
I understand that you sexually deficient types have trouble
understanding that not everyone has your problems with obtaining sex
with another human being,
From: +Cibao+
%
Love is about people - not plumbing.
From: +Cibao+
%
Is it just me, or is Knode starting to look like the MSOE of *nix?
From: +Cibao+
%
Aww.  Looks like I bruised your wittle ego, doesn't it?    Dance for
me, my little monkey. 
From: +Cibao+
%
Shaken Newbie Syndrome.......can it ever be stopped?
The good news:  YES IT CAN!
Dr. Dave is willing to GIVE AWAY the wonder drug of the century!!
HOW CAN THIS BE?!?!?   The cure for a usenet plague for free?!?!?
Yes, folks, it's a potent blend of RTFM, STFU, and the secret of the
Orient:
GAFC!
With this blend of major ingredients, all cases of SNS can be
eradicated!
Get yours today!
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
I can't help it if I'm too sexxy for my newsreader.
From: +Cibao+  In: alt.os.linux
%
XFree86! huh-yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh
From: +Cibao+
%
Go now child and be one with Slack.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
"Troll" seems to be the name de jour for you guys lately.  So, in the
same vein as the adoption of the honored title "Bozo" (may they live
forever in decadence), and in deference to the suggestion here of
"UberBozo", I would like to humbly submit the suggestion of
"Bozo-Uber-Troll Thingy", along with the accompanying acronym of
"BUTT" for your deliberation as a new and exalted title of reverence.
From: Talon
%
I'm afraid that that information is restricted to Bozo's (we swear an
oath you know), but I can tell you that it does involve a goat. Also
the Illuminati who run all the worlds internet spine's, (in order to
control the mortal population's flow of information), are of course
subservient to the Pope Bozo, long may his shadow lengthen.
From: Two Ravens
%
I wish you many years of RTFM.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Goats are reserved for the Removal of the Lame Distro ritual.
From: Old Man
%
this group is great.  You get a better quality of abuse and OT
rambling over here ;-)
From: Glyn Milling
%
I wonder what MS uses to make their blocklist(killfile?), that
would cause you to make such a nice sound when you hit the bottom.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Get down off the cross, you look silly up there.  Stop acting like
it's some special gold star that gets you nods and love.
From: Lee Fent
%
The war against my people hasn't ended. not by a long shot.
From: +Cibao+
%
Welcome to our reality. Sucks, doesn't it?
From: +Cibao+
%
Now the good news is that you didn't top post.  But we still get to
flame you for not trimming. 
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
I wish I'd had someone stick a Slackware CD in my drive and say "Thats
the one matey, learn it."
From: Mike-UK
%
Slackware [Linux] - "Dying" since 1996.
From: Mark Hill
%
Perhaps your problem is karma-related.
From: fLameDogg
%
If it's worth doing, it's worth RTFM'ing!
From: Andy McDowell
%
in other words, it has been recorded on google that you are utterly
pathetic.
From: Joost Kremers
%
the distribution that stays out of my way, and lets me do what i
want to do without telling that i can't or shouldn't do this.
the distribution that doesn't waste my time by making me run around
in circles, and stays out of my face, so i can actually get some work
done, THAT is the fastest distribution.
From: Jurgen Philippaerts
%
Cool, I almost got called a "cracker".
From: Talon
%
Now if you excuse me, I'll be off conspiring with the machines to help
overthrow humanity.
From: Blumf
%
Advice from people who shoot soccer(futbol) players for scoring in the
wrong goal is not welcome.  Were it not for coffee and hedonism[0],
brazil would just be another prime coca farm.
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
RTFM pointers to related reading material will be apreciated :D
From: Bilbo
%
The quality of human stupidity is actually pretty uniform. It's just that
Americans have a great publicity machine broadcasting their stupidity.
From: George Georgakis In; AOLS-OT
%
Oh, your a therapist looking for clients, I had you mistaken for a
nutcase looking for fellows.
From: Thomas Overgaard 
%
Do you see where this lends itself to you looking like a fool?
From: Quasipsyco
%
Here, let me explain it to you........ nahhh, *PLONK*
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
np^H^H*PLONK*
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Don't look at him as a troll, look at him as an opportunity to get a
mod quote.
From: Billy Watt
%
Embrace the fact that learning is good.
+Dave Sizemore+
%
I'm still wondering what you are complaining about. 
From: dentonj
%
I'm still trying to figure out the whole point of your post.  Was it
just some mindless ramblings of someone who has nothing better to do?  
From: dentonj
%
You arn't 100% Linux yet.  If you where that would have been "F.* M\$"
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
You /know/ a thread is coming to the end of it's useful life when
folks start quoting *me* to win their positions arguments.  
From: +Cibao+ 
%
No need, Godwin's covers it, it just means you must be Hitler. You
didn't  come from a remote part of Brazil by any chance did you?
From: Blumf
%
Did you say MUGGLE?  Isn't it past your bedtime?  
From: +Dave Sizemore+ 
%
you solved it all by yourself. But what is more important, you
posted your solution to the group as a help for anyone else with the
same problem.
From: Two Ravens
%
Which is, if I might say, why you suck.
From: Quasipsyco
%
don't say *plonk*, i would not survive it...
From: laurent herve
%
untill then, i'll just killfile you.
bye now...
From: Jurgen Philippaerts
%
Did it make your dick hard perchance?
From: +Cibao+ 
%
You're only further proving what a clueless fucking nimrod you are.
From: +Cibao+ 
%
Only a an ignorant coward uses violence as his first means of
resolution.
From: +Cibao+ 
%
there are distros fit for lazy newbies, for the chronicaly
lazy there is windows, and for us geeks there is Slackware.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
if you design for market share, the functionality suffers.
From: William Hunt
%
cibao@raven:~$ mount -t coherent -O redhead,submissive,loop,ro - \
 -p I_love_you -s /dev/lisa /mnt/bed 
From: +Cibao+ 
%
That's not meant to be elitist (although we are) but simply a matter
of practicality.
From: +Cibao+ 
%
Slackware's market share is pretty much limited to those who want to
be in control of their computer, with minimal automagically configured
crap.  Most Slackers would probably move on if it became like "some
distros." 
From: Kurt
%
The thread's dead, baby, the thread's dead.  -- Pulp Usenet
From: +Cibao+ 
%
Now let me ask you a question, poster. When you posted in
here, did you notice a server notice out in front that said,
"Dead post storage"? 	-- Pulp Usenet
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Oh yes, and I almost forgot... this is a Slackware newsgroup, not a
"get your warez here" newsgroup. Try to keep that clear.
From: Cichlidiot
%
it will most likely generate a local increase in the earth's
gravitational field, pulling the moon closer to the earth each time it
passes, so that after a certain amount of time it will collide with
our lovely planet, and thus ending life as we know it... but, apart
from that, there are no bad consequences that i can think of right
now. 
From: Jurgen
%
java, the future language of the past. ;-)
From: Joost Kremers
%
Unlike kids, you can ask parents/custodians of software what's wrong
with their offspring.
From: Keith Keller
%
Slackware + Fluxbox + A freshly compiled kernel = Sweet computer
goodness
From: tsob
%
I compiled myself
From: "serafin"
%
It sounds like you're asking an X-Y question: you post asking how to
do X because you think it will help you accomplish Y, but you don't
mention Y at all.  If you tell us Y, perhaps we can eliminate X
altogether. 
From: Keith Keller
%
Did you see the name of this ng? Yes? Ah, I see, you thought that
Slackware and Suse must be the same thing since they both start with
an 'S'. Well, they aren't.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Down here we do spammers just like we do boar hogs.  First thing to do
is
get one of those big round trash cans you usually only find in cities,
or
a 55 gallon drum (which doesn't work quite as good). Lay the trash can
down on its side and throw some half-rotted tommatoes down in there.
Now,
run your boar... err.... spammer into the trashcan, and stand it up on
its
bottom.  Viola!  Now you have one spammer upside down, in a trashcan
where
he cannot bite you.  Now simply take your pocket knife (which you did
disinfect, right?) and make a couple small cuts. Pull out the balls
one at
a time and cut the things that hold them on. Toss them aside to be
used
later for fish bait. Now doctor up the cuts so they heal quickly, and
lay
the trashcan back down. Get away quickly.
From: Alan Hicks
%
"One night with Slackware"
(sung to the tune of "One Night in Bangkok")
All rights reserved. All apologies to good taste.
(Yes, I have too much time on my hands...)

THE POPE:

Slackware, in the original settings
And the newbie don't know what the newbie is getting
The creme de la creme of the Linux world in a
distro with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since AOLS had some newbie questions in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
compute at this level there's no ordinary menu

There's Google, or the 'man pages' -- or 'Info' 
- -- or -- or this place!

NEWBIES:

One night in Slackware and the world's your oyster
The newsgroups are temples but the clues ain't free
You'll be agog in every man page you enter
And if I'm lucky then someone will answer me
I can feel an Bozo sliding up to me

THE POPE:

One group's very like another
When the pleas for help overwhelm you, brothers

BOZOS:

It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the posts, not flaming all the newbies

THE POPE:

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking group --

TROLLS:

Windows, it's too sweet (too sweet)
My XP rebooted only 10x's last week.

THE POPE:

We get tired, talking to the purists
Whose every whine is about the tourists
*WE* choose how to spend our time, sunshine

NEWBIES:

One night in Slackware makes a hard man humble
Not much between fsck and ecstasy
One night in Slackware and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your root shell, see?
I can feel a Bozo walking next to me

THE POPE:

Slaclkware's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
crummy old BeOS or declining Amiga

And thank Pat I'm only watching the group -- controlling it --

I don't see you guys racing to
answer the repeated questions, daily
We'd like to help, we really would, mind you
But the clues we'd give would not excite you.

So you better go back to your GUI's, your lame excuses, 
your Microsoft Windows --

NEWBIES:

One night in Slackware and the world's your oyster
The groups are temples but the clues ain't free
You'll find a clue in every golden answer
A little LART, a little history
I can feel an Bozo sliding up to me

One night in Slackware makes a hard man humble
Not much between fsck and my new GUI
One night in Slackware and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful around the BOZOS, see?
I can feel a LART being aimed at me
From: +Cibao+
%
for TROLL in $(find alt/os/linux/slackware -usertype troll); do
sed -e 's#Score::\ =-9999#Score::\ =-9999\nFrom:\ $TROLL#g' \
~/News/Score > /tmp/Score.tmp
mv /tmp/Score.tmp ~/News/Score
echo \*PLONK\* > $TROLL
done
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Windows [pron: win-doze]: one of the preliminary level OSs aimed at
non-professional users with low educational level. Along with hot-dog,
pop-corn, and cola, W. is a typical example of American mass culture
of the end of the 20th century.  Due to its simplified GUI (the idea
of which had been taken from MacOS and X Window System), W. became
widely spread among kids, secretaries, housekeepers etc. and also in
former Soviet countries, where it is easier to buy a CD with W. (for a
couple of bucks) than to download Linux.
From: mojo
%
You haven't read +Cibao+ until you've read him in the original +Chiron+.
From: tsob
%
Source code - The Only REAL Package Management System.
From: tsob
%
"errors can be solved by correcting the lines that generate them in
the config file"
From: Jurgen Philippaerts
%
while bored ; do
    find alt/os/linux/slackware -usertype troll -exec abuse {} \;
    echo \*PLONK\*
done
From: William Hunt
%
Now there's a brilliant strategy -- your crippled hardware isn't
working properly, so you're going to install a crippled distro to fix
it? 
From: Keith Keller
%
I guess the smell of shit in cowtown prevents you from using your head
for anything other than a rectal plug.
From: tsob
%
Now go and tell your mother that you have been a very bad troll, and
ask her to spank you _soundly_ with the business end of a '72 Buick
LeSabre.
From: tsob
%
WWPD (What Would Pat Do?)
From: tsob
%
With Slackware all the chicks are for free.
Who needs sun glasses? ;-)
From: Shin
%
Will the real +Cibao+ please stand up...? 
From: /dev/rob0
%
allegence could be better spent sorting through pr0n, making
ascii pr0n, tinkering with the code, helping on the Good Book,
masterbating, eating good food, reading this and other newsgroups,
sleeping, having sex, reading a book, potting a plant, drinking,
updating the killfile, bashing trolls, giving clues to the deserving,
googling for further education, polishing the bat for it's next use
From: Quasipsyco
%
if(Jim==wearing_flameproof_suit){
printf("and why not go the whole hog and learn to type with your toes
- you'll find it as natural as using vi or its infernal spawn!");
}
From: Jim Ford
%
"I am +Cibao+'s total lack of surprise".
From: Andreas Cammin
%
I understand. Resistance is futile. We all serve the great and
powerful a.o.l.s.
From: tsob
%
Thank you for abusing my mind so thoughtlessly. You are truly one of
the lowest evolved forms of pancreatic pus to have ever wasted my
bandwidth.  You should take up a new hobby... say Russian roulette
with a Glock 9. Your post is tedious and mind numbingly dense. I hope
you get anally routed with a belt sander. Go back to flinging feces
with the rest of your species 
From: tsob
%
I know what it is like to be anally routed with a belt sander.
From: tsob
%
the OS you are installing/using might be, in some circumstances,
regarded as 'easy'. However, easy is not the same as simple, Slackware
is simple, and therefore easier to learn, (notnecessarily the same
thing as to operate). 
From: Two Ravens
%
Oh WOW!  Another person posting from Mozilla who doesn't know the
difference between a "email client" and a "news client" because they
use a "web client" as a "news client".
Although I shouldn't talk.  I use emacs as an editor.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
This would appear to be a chronic case of recto-cranial
inversion, as opposed to a recurrance of same.
From: /dev/rob0
%
Get your head out of your fuzzy little butt and learn how to post
appropriate questions, and you won't be flamed (or, at least, you
won't deserve to be flamed).
From: Keith Keller
%
Slackware is the operation system of choice "fur harte
Manner". They do not drink Jolt Cola, they drink Budweisser....
From: Freind of "laurent herve"
%
You'll either become an expert on reinstalling from scratch, or
develop a morbid fear of the 'rm' command!
From: Andy McDowell
%
You can't get help from pissed people.  It is a bit like poking a
badger with a spoon.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Well, to put it quietly, there lie your problems :)
What about at least posting a few 4 or 5 first errors you get
just like we wont have to use the crystal ball again ?
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Maybe try to get, say one spare hour and read the docs
before starting the fan again ?
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Check if it's a boy, lilo, reboot, have a drink
restart menuconfig, adapt, redo the build, check
if it's a girl, cheers up, post your success here ;)

And in case it's coming legs first, please describe what you see,
I just remembered I had to leave my crystal ball for a friend
running XP as for guessing the number of reboots per day.
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Problems always vanish after you post a question
From: DB
%
You are not ready for slackware.  Save yourself a lot of trouble and
go buy a Mac.  Then you can be a hip non-confirmist without actually
being responsible for your decisions.
From: thrugoodmarshall
%
QoS rocks harder than Nine Inch Nails at a Lowlands festival, on acid!
From: Andy McDowell
%
The text which was originally here was snipped by "Trollfilter
Deluxe". It really works! Send me $200 today, and I will explain to
you in detail how you can be your own "Trollfilter Deluxe". Order today
and you will get a 10% discount. Hundreds of satisfied customers have
had the pleasure of seeing trolls starve to death. Order now! I accept
Cash and Checks, all your data will be kept confidential.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
"It"? You mean good old /bin/ping? Are you saying that
somehow you managed to break ping?
I've never heard of anyone doing that before.
From: /dev/rob0
%
Being successful at installing and running RedHat != being successful
at learning Linux.
From: Jonathan A.
%Do not post without providing any useful information whatsoever. I
would be willing to try to guess if there was SOMETHING. You gave us
nothing to go on.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
modprobe +cibao+
     -- Blumf
%
Your choice to troll instead of assist has been duly noted in your
record.
     -- +Cibao+
%
Leave the damned messages on! These are put there on purpose to get
your mind ready for phaseII of your Slackware experience: Your
introduction to a Texas UFO doomsday cult.
     -- "Leonard the Committed"
%
although I did deviate from my own personal slackware tradition of
drinking beer while doing the install (which as I'm told in lore) is
necessary for a virgin install unless you want headaches.
     -- Drew
%
you could have supplied at least *somekind* of actual information, or
did you want people to guess ?
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts
%
> Are all slackware users this friendly?
I believe they are even more unfriendly to top-posting shitheads.
     -- Billy Watt
%
i don't have my own PGP here, so i'll leave yours here instead 
so as to piss off the troll:
     -- William Hunt
%
I was planning to use a headset for a telephony application, but the
tuits I've found have not been appropriately circular. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
most Slackers are real control freaks and wouldn't trust some
installer to automagically download and install crap.
     -- Kurt
%
I don't think the majority of Slackware users would care for an
auto-update system, it takes away the control we hold so dearly. I
want to know what is and gets installed on my system. I want to avoid
unecessary bloat.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
If you describe 'anal majority' as a group knowledgeable regulars that
keep the standard of the group high by actively letting (new) posters
know when they asked a stupid question, then yeah there a lot of them.
     -- Andy McDowell
%
membership is strictly limited to those who don't need to have the
docs slowly read out loud for them.
     -- William Hunt
%
yes, of course.  boogered [1] is more catastrophic than the
more generalized 'flummoxed'[2], where something that is flumoxed
might conceivably still function, and yet less so the totality of
fubar [3], where all hope is lost.  something that is boogered
simply will not work yet still retains the potential for salvage.
     -- William Hunt
%
at this point he has no way of knowing what is a newbie question and
what is a "OMFG WTF" question.  He looks through the groups.. he sees
.newbie and he sees .guru.  Guess which group he is going to post to
with the subject line of "!!! NEED HELP !!!"?  Exactly he is going to
post to both.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Don't let your sister tell you what to post. It makes you
seem...well...femmie
     -- "lionel_rooskie"
%
How do you decide if you want System V IPC or BSD Process Accounting
or what the fuck is Sysctl support?!? And what the hell is i686,
really?  My computer says Pentium, it doesn't say 686, which is
basically the same thing as a 386, right?  Wuzzup wit dat 'i' in
front, either?!  IT IS ALL SO CONFUSING< I HATE YOU ALL! 
     -- AthlonRob
%
we then put this Dual Opteron up as a mail server.It's been handling
about 200,000 Emails/day very gracefully (thanks to the Sobig worm).
     -- JWSmythe
%
rm, would you do us all a favour? find a nice high tree outside, get a
rope, tie a noose in it and hang it from the tree. stick your head through
the noose and pull tight. (make sure your feet don't touch the ground.)
then stay there hanging for a few hours. it will do you good.

oh, btw, if you find you have trouble breathing in this position, don't
worry about it. that't to be expected.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
dern it, I plonk you once, and you go changin around your address and
break my plonkage.  *re-plonk with better plonkage*.
     -- Chris
%
Feeding the trolls, as always (they make a better *plonk* when properly
fattened up first),
     -- Chris
%
I think there's a real shortage of clueful people throughout industry 
and academia. And then there's added pressure and the excrement of 
male bovines. IMHO DIY @home is the best way to learn, if not the 
ONLY way.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Welcome to alt.os.linux.slackwre. We hope you will enjoy your stay.
Your answer is here: <URL:http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html> 
     -- Faux Pseudo
%
rm. Never has so much been spewed by so few brain cells.
     -- George Georgakis in slackware-ot
%
rm. Nothing but a good excuse to master regular expressions.
     -- Mark Hill in slackware-ot
%
<emacs-vi holy war>
You people and your silly emacs! Everyone knows you save files with a
true text editor using ":x". I mean, what's up with this "Meta-S +
Meta-X" crap? How do you keep those things straight?
</emacs-vi holy war>
     -- Alan HIcks
%
I am thoroughly convinced that God uses slrn and elvis!
     -- Alan Hicks
%
that's enough
I think I'm going to turn the noise way down and the signal way up
<plonk>
     -- beldar
%
Lucifer's crowning glory in all of computing [...]
        Q W E R T Y U I O P
         A S D F G H J K L
          Z X C V B N M

     -- Lord Almighty (through the keyboard of /dev/rob0)
%
After all, brevity is the soul of that word I can't spell.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Linux is about being a great OS in it's own right - it's not about being
an alternative.
     -- Ori
%
> At least my comments are easy to judge on the Mod Quote scale, if it's an
> odd numbered compilation I'm in, if it's an even one I'm out.
     -- Billy Watt

I was going to submit that as a mod quote, but the next one is an even
one.  :)
     -- Simon
%
[...]the mark of a true geek. A geek knoweth
how little he know; a non-geek knows how much.
     -- Carl Inglis in slackware-ot
%
Is dissatisfaction included with each MS license fee?
     -- /dev/rob0
%
"think we have mostly recovered from my multiple personality
disorder."
     -- Simon
%
Linux doesn't cut it at turning a $3000 computer into a $200 video game
console compared to windoze[...]
     -- Ciro The Spider-Man
%
Tymshare PDP10?
I think we're going to need a sample of you to carbon date :)
     -- Blumf in alt.linux.slakware
%
I used to write Beej's Guides...
     -- Beej Jorgensen
%
There's only one reason why you would persist through college toward a 
degree: to make yourself more marketable in the eyes of people who are 
not qualified to judge technical competence, but yet who have been put 
in charge of corporate purse-strings.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
If we top post then the terrorists have already won.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
If this pattern continues, it may become necessary to impose martial law
- - temporarily of course - to ensure that top-posters cease in their
efforts to assist terrorist organizations.
     -- +Cibao+
%
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do
not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
     -- A friend of Faux_Pseudo
%
mcuh as i ssihtapmye wtih yuor etroffs to dralcee snillepg rnadnudet, Fuax,
trehe is a non-sutiuqer in tihs rninosaeg...[1]

[...]

[1] much as i sympathise with your efforts to declare spelling redundant, Faux,
there is a non-sequitur in this reasoning...
     -- Joost Kremers
%
You can't do anything until you understand what you're doing.  A rather 
simple anti-Klutz mechanism.
     -- notbob
%
Slackware:  You can do what YOU want and how YOU think it works right.
     -- Henry Jensen
%
my workplace only allows RedHat 'for security reasons'
     -- Big Bird
%
linux keeps people honest. no need to be a little pirate in
your own room. Arr...
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts
%
So, people with clue are returning to college to get the piece of
paper that will impress those without clue...
[...]
But people with clue know the true value of paper--that's how
toilet paper was invented.
     -- Keith Keller
%
It takes a unique brand of dedication and selfless service in
pursuit of the general nuisance to get me to bother creating a filter.
     -- James
%
IMHO people that still use MSOE and think it's neat to click on every file
that comes into their mailbox should receive a serious beating with a
clue-stick.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
RTFM - learn it, live it, love it
     -- William Hunt
%
No need to learn the manual, it may change; just
learn to think about reading it when needed :D)
     -- Loki Harfagr
%
My thesis is that all great minds are self-taught, and that the right 
kind of college can be a great place to teach yourself things.
     -- Bryan Bibb
%
"Friends don't let friends use Windows".
     -- Simon Williams
%
Slackware--decisions are based on technical opinions, not political 
or economic factors.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Amen! :) Hmmm, this gets me wondering how the bat was chosen for the
cover of the bat book. Perl's camel makes sense: perl is big, slow,
ugly, but very powerful. :) Bats ... always chasing bugs: yes, that
fits. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Qmail takes a Unix system and turns it into DJBNIX.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Also he has a four digit UID on Slashdot. Which is quite good. Better than
my 6 digit one. He probably joined up when it was worth reading.
     -- Richard James
%
Linux is a crazy crowd.
There are distributions for "users"[0] and "Users" for distributions.
Go figure?
     -- Stan Flatto
%
There's no need to bottom-quote *every* line of previous posts, just to add
your own 2 cents to a conversation.

Doing so will:

Make you a better Netizen.
Make your conversations easier to follow.
Save bandwidth.
Make your posts more likely to be read by those with limited bandwidth.
(You never know who's going to be able to answer your Q's)
Make your teeth shiny and bright.
Make you more attractive to the gender of your preference.
Increase your stamina.
_Really_ piss off 'rm'. =)
     -- +Cibao+
%
What a silly question, of course I ..... Oh S**T!!  I hereby nominate
myself for "Prat of The Year" award - I should win it easily (might
manage Prat of the Century too.
     -- Mike
%
Doesn't M$ usually back stuff that sucks? ;)
     -- Jamess
%
You are not a lawyer. None of us here are lawyers. Lawyers tend to be 
too stupid to understand computers.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
And just think. I just purchased the "Official 9.1 Distribution CD Set" just
last week from http://store.slackware.com/cgi-bin/store - should receive the
set in snail-mail much quicker than I could expect to receive a stable
version of windows.
     -- Gruppy Old Man
%
The rest, as they say, is history (although I have no idea who "they"
are nor why they say that.)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
do fish piss in the sea ?
is the pope catholic ?
are you lucky that i answered you instead of +cibao+ ?
will it hurt when i poke my finger in your eye ?
will rm eventually grow up ?
nah, scratch that last one.
     -- Jurgen
%
Slacking 'cause Bob told me to.
     -- Blumf
%
...most competent people in any endeavour tend to be self-taught; even 
those who sought a degree in that field.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Um, yeah... duly noted.  The tinfoil hats don't work unless you have the
shiny side OUT.
     -- Ciro The Spider-Man
%
If you're not going to use software because some of its end-users are
assholes, you're not going to be using much software.  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
I think there is a central FUD factory that gives industry discounts.
     -- Bryan Bibb in slackware-ot
%
"if you feel that you'll need expensive support for a simple
opensource application, that is well documented, then you're
underqualified for your job, and you're wasting our resources."
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts in slackware-ot
%
man bash has everything you need.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Please fix the user of your newsreader--he's horribly broken in many
ways.
     -- Keith Keller
%
[1] Alzheimer's time for me.[2]
 [...]
[2] The 3 best things about Alzheimer's:[3]
    You can hide your own Easter eggs.
    You make new friends every day.
    You can hide your own Easter eggs.
    You make new friends every day.
[3] Did I ever tell you the 3 best things about Alzheimer's?
 [...]
[3] Did I ever tell you the 3 best things about Alzheimer's?
     -- /dev/rob0
%
I wouldn't exactly say anyone runs KDE. Walks KDE maybe, but runs is
just a little exageration. :^)
     -- Alan Hicks
%
daemontools is a horrible nightmare of depravity, and anyone who uses it
deserves to have it respawn in runlevels 1 and 6.  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
slackware's installer's only taks is to install what you tell it to.
and o that right. that's all it has to do, and that's why we love it.
i've had some close encounters with so called "smart" installers. i
hated it. they kept insisting to install crap i didn't want. so much
for smart, i'd call them stubborn, at most.
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts 
%
Have you had your google today..
     -- Richard Adams
%
Linux is for hackers. Windoze is for appliance-operators. Linux is for
idealists. Windoze is for consumers.
     -- Alan Connor
%
go say three Hail Bob, give alms to the poor, and try again.
     -- William Hunt
%
Making things easier for the lazy, at the risk of screwing machines up
for everyone else. It all sounds so very Micrososftian, doesn't it?
     -- George Georgakis
%
Some distros attempt to be smart by doing things for you. Slackware is the
smartest one of all, because it only does what you tell it to do.
     -- Morgan Landry
%
People too afraid to do something that the vast majority of people
aren't doing, well..... what the hell are you doing using Slackware?
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Heh.  In my job "TUI" stands for "Telephony User Interface."
You think it's hard being user-friendly with a command line?
Try it with 12 buttons and no screen.
     -- Duke Robillard
%
> I wonder about the maximum RAM.  Is 640MB enough?
640MB ought to be enough for anybody.  :)
     -- Keith Keller in slackware-ot
%
Usually if you don't get a reply, that means that we don't know and
can't be bothered to look.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
I guess if I put out so many one-liners one's
gotta be funny every once in a while.  :)
     -- Keith Keller in slackware-ot
%
First thing you need is a great big clue-stick slammed hard into the                                                                
side of your head. Then you'll know to do a few things.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Perl is significantly more readable after encryption.
     -- Keith Keller
%
I love how a good troll can bring out the *love* in the
community. Group hugs all around. :-)                  
     -- Bryan Bibb
%
If you stop morphing, I promise I won't morph just to evade your
sophisticated scoring mechanism (which probably somehow pipes each
post through sed, rot13, and grep, and adds up exit statuses to
decide the final score of each post).
     -- Keith Keller
%
I had no way of knowing that, I don't have permissions to read
/dev/yourmind.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Did I hurt your feelings somehow? If so I'm dreadfully sorry, as well as
completely at a loss as to how my post could have been offensive. It
shan't happen again unless perhaps you should happen to morph your
posting identity.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Old computers never die, they just smell that way <B-).
     -- Chris Newport
%
Slackware is like a beautiful woman, you have to work at it and know how
to treat her before she'll do the things you want her to do for you.
But the end result is so totally worth it.
     -- AthlonRob
%
If you want to become a productive Linux user - meaning you can
do whatever you want with your computer, you *ARE* going to have
to learn a little bit.  This isn't Billyware, you really can do
anything you want with Linux.  We aren't in the box, we live and
think outside of it.
     -- AthlonRob
%
Trim your posts. Don't top post. GAFC, find the FAQ, and read it.
This is not a flame. It is a warning before the real flames come. If
you're crying now, you probably won't last long around here.
     -- Morgan Landry
%
"When we as a community try to define culture/rules/behavior, what 
we are really saying is "Behave this way and many experts will help 
you with your Slackware questions.  Behave that other way and most 
of the experts will ignore you." It's not about limiting your 
choices.  It's about explaining to you that actions have 
consequences."
     -- Guy Macon
%
you will start to learn things.
but you'll have to decide for yourself wether that's going to be
a pitfall for you or not :)
     -- Jurgen Philippaerts
%
It's not that the basic usage of vi is all that difficult to learn - I
just find its use to be just barely more fun than a root canal sans
anesthesia.
     -- RedBeard
%
go look up 'paranoid' in a dictionary. a firewall and security updates
aren't paranoid, they're prudent.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
knowledge comes to those who are not afraid to show their lack of it. ;-)
     -- Joost Kremers
%
Crash! Biff!! POW! Holy scarecrow, Batman! Another straw man laid to
waste.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
I've read every single post of yours for the last month or so, and
have decided that you have either a +5 Ring of Clue Resistance or an
Amulet of Fact Deflection.
     -- RedBeard
%
Slackware 10: The *real* OS X
     -- Guy Macon
%
You people are still using *Computers*?? I am whistling into my
phone at 56Kbps and doing the trellis encoding in my head. I can
decode audio and video files in real-time, but decrypting PGP
files without the key slows me down a bit...
     -- Guy Macon
%
You should have ended your post with ":q!"
     -- Linnut
%
Skill lies not in knowledge itsself, but in the ability to find
said knowledge when needed.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
ok, how many times am i going to have to say this? don't *ever* mention the
goat!!
     -- Joost Kremers
%
I'm self-educated.
     -- /dev/rob0, G.aF.C., R.t.F.M., S.t.F.W., P.H.D.[1]
%
Nobody here really cares about your time schedule, so don't bother
mentioning it.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
why do all these uninitiated keep bringing up goats? we
don't do anything with goats. there is no such thing as a goat ritual.  we
also don't consume large amounts of psychotropic plants paint our bodies
and dance naked around bonfires. we don't do that. ever. really we don't.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
You forgot the bucket of lard, we don't do anything with that either.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
I have certified, professional, international asshole credentials... 
something highly coveted in the journalism world.
     -- Adams-Blake
%
hard drive:
Richmond t' Nawlins in an ol' pikup truck, an not stoppin' t' pee.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
I wish I could say my misspelling was meant to be a bad joke, but
it's just a bad misspelling.
     -- Keith Keller
%
I didn't know RH has standards, even if they do, I doubt they adhere to
them.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
I'm going back to windoze, too many dammed options with linux ;)
     -- Blumf
%
Slackware 8.1 isn't that old, certainly no reason to be fired.  RedHat
5, now there's a reason to be fired.  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
It looks like something a sales manager would come up with (i.e it 
looks impressive to other managers, but doesn't mean anything).
     -- Simon Williams
%
"Given the choice, we'd broadcast pornography at any time, but the
average video cassette can't hold much data, so we might as well
schedule it for when we've got home from work, finished dinner & sent
the children to bed.  Those employees who want pornography during
working hours can get it from the Internet; there is a reason we have 2
GigE connections to the LINX." - BBC schedulers.
     -- Simon Williams in slackware-ot
%
I think Slackware's little tick is that it doesn't have any little ticks
to try to lock you in to Slackware.  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
Are'nt computers stupid? They just do what YOU tell them to do!
     -- Stan Flatto
%
[...] sendmail, every real nerd's MTA. ;^)
     -- Alan Hicks in slackware-ot
%
I usually suggest people learn to RTFM, I suggest *you* take it one
letter at a time, start with 'R', which stands for read.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Wired is the closest thing to a content-free magazine I've seen in some
time.  And it's ugly.
     -- William Hamblen
%
Mandrake is the Ferangi of the Linux Federation while Slackware is so
obviously the Klingons of the Linux Federation.  It is a good day to
die.

We are disgusted by Ferangi p'tok!  We slice their ears off with our
bat'leths.
     -- AthlonRob
%
rm -rf rm
     -- Sean Sullivan
%
As a newbie, you don't need gain knowledge to become a true Linux user,
just lose your fear.
     -- alex49201
%
Hi, I'm a total moron and have absolutly no incentive to learn anything
for myself. According to some website I saw, all my hardware is supported
under Linux. My problem is that since I'm a total moron, I'm too much of
an idiot to check and see if there's any information I could use in
/usr/doc, and using Google is DEFINATELY out of the question, but my
Sound, USB and Video card are messed up.

What I expect from this group is to have someone travel to my house at
thier own expense and make my computer work. After all, if I really wanted
to be "alternative" anyhow, I'd have bought a Mac in the first place!
     -- Leonard the Committed
%
That's right.  We should stop all mention of Trolls.  Any mention of
Trolls brings more Troll posts, so stop talking about Trolls already!

All Your Troll Are Belong To Us,
     -- Keith Keller
%
I think you should get a life, mate! Compile a kernel or something.
     -- Molchun
%
A request for flames? Haven't had one of those in awhile. :^) Alright,
consider yourself flamed.

STFU. GAFC. STFW. RTFM.

There you go.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Build yourself a fool proof system, and the world will simply build a
better fool.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
[...] and hobbyists like yourself, who think that
it is somehow a good thing to design and build a lightbulb
everytime you want to turn on the lights.
     -- rm
%
Anyway, let's not forget the likes of Edison and successors. If THEY
didn't know how to design and build lightbulbs, we'd all be reading
Usenet by candlelight. ;) :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
To be honest, F_P and I had our way in dominating I-IV.
I figured it's only fair for me to STFU and give everyone else a chance to
be just as rude and insulting as we have been. =)
     --  +Cibao+
%
Perhaps true, but isn't a put-down from an RPM zealot equivalent to a
compliment?  :)
     -- Keith Keller
%
mmm. i must have a cryptic mind then, because emacs makes perfect sense to
me. ;-)
     -- Joost Kremers
%
they have it all wrong, of course. here's the updated results:

Browser of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Distribution of the Year - Slackware (26.34%)
Database of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Desktop Environment of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Office Suite of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Word Processor of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Spreadsheet of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Window Manager of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Multimedia Application of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Cryptography App of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Web Development Editor of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Mail Client of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Editor of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Hardening App of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Open Source Game of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Commercial Game of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Windows on Linux App of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Security App of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
FTP Server of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
Web Server of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)
MTA of the Year - Emacs (100.00%)

(ok, ok... some of these might be a stretch. ;-)
     -- Joost Kremers
%
Slackware isn't meant for trolls.
     -- William Park
%
Now that, Alan my boy, is an interesting moment of self-revelation - the
curious fact that the presence of "floppy" (or even "floopy"!) in the
subject line leads you on to Viagra in the body.  Having problems?   That
would explain a great deal.
     -- Glyn Millington
%
Of course, someone could have answered that you change your mouse type
by snipping his genitalia.  That would be terribly inappropriate for the
newsgroup.
     -- Keith Keller
%
It's your box break it where ever you want it failing.
     -- Menno Duursma
%
like i said, you have the right to ask your questions here. i will
ignore them if i don't feel like answering them.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
you're a techie? I had you mistaken for a moron 
     -- Menno Duursma
%
The only time Windows works 98% of the time is when it is shut off.
     -- Kraven
%
If you're easily daunted when you operate computers, use Windows. You'll
come across fewer problems with Windows but it will frustrate even your
expert friends in their attempts to sort the 'nasty' problems.

If you stick a big two fingers up at computer problems and aren't afraid
to beat them into submission, use Linux. You might have to fight a
continual struggle, but its downhill all the way.
     -- Ben Measures
%
Remember kids, some OS's aren't as fortunate as linux/BSD, this winter
when you're sat behind your iptables warm in the glow of your firewall,
think of the poor defenceless Windows.
     -- Blumf in slackware-ot
%
''random'' text isn't random, you're just too dumb to
recognize the pattern.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Kinda hard to have "put me in my place" when I killfilled that troll
ages ago don'tcha think? Now I'm gonna put you in your place.

*plonk*
     -- Alan Hicks
%
> Damn Slack, aint you got some kinda "clean my house" function?

rm -fr "${HOME}"/*
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Big words from a big man.
In public.
Being archived by Google.

What was that about "really stupid" again?
     -- +Cibao+
%
BTW, having rm on your side is like wiping your ass with previously used
toilet paper.
     -- notbob
%
there's no way that someone as foul-mouthed as +Cibao+ would be
respected unless he showed that he had a spectacular brain to go
along with the mouth.  ;-)
     -- Keith Keller
%
People should be compensated for their work.  And people asking for a 
hand out shouldn't get righteous when told to learn how to fish.  Odds 
are that is how the people with the fish got them in the first place.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
If you insist upon wasing our time with already-documented questions, we'll
waste your time by telling you so in a colorful and creative fashion.
     -- +Cibao+
%
The ability to STFW is not just a desired Slackware user trait.  It is a
trait that all users of all OS's should have.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
   Let:-.                                (bt * u)
        |-> b=bandwidth                 --------- = w > STFW
        |-> w=wasted time                  STFW
        |-> t=time
        |-> u=users with questions      that have been asked before
        `-> STFW="Search The Fine Web"     :F_P:

Or in short "w > STFW".
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Sane people rarely go out and find what is considered to be the least
user-friendly linux distribution out there as an intro to Linux.  Sane
people don't seek out help in what is considered to be the least
friendly linux newsgoup out there.

We are not sane.  Nobody has ever accused us of being sane.
     -- AthlonRob
%
As a member of "everyone", I would like to ask that you stop speaking
for us.
     -- Sysiphus
%
If Linux users are the "wacko fringe" of IT, then this group is probably 
the "wacko fringe" of Linux.
     -- Adams Blake Company
%
I count ZERO misspellings in that post.  Who are you and what have you
done with Faux?
     -- AthlonRob in reply to Faux_Pseudo
%
Lo, and behold!  This is the
Meaning of Slack[tm]!!  To exhaust other means of solving a problem before
asking for a handout here.
     -- Sysiphus
%
The group is democratic. Democracy is three wolves and a sheep deciding
what to have for dinner.
     -- Handover Phist
%
/dev/wife had removed all need for /dev/hand. /dev/hand is just kept
around for backwards compatability these days.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
slackware is imbued with the spirt of Slack.
slackware has Slack because Volkerding has Slack.
If you have no Slack, then slackware will confuse you
and frustrate you.  You will turn away, and call it crap.
That's not slackware's fault: slackware made you no promises.
If you have Slack, then slackware will serve you well.
     -- William Hunt
%
It's not done.  This is not Gentoo.
     -- NeoSadist
%
It's well known that create_general_protection_fault(); in VCC+
is unreliable.  Try save_important_file(); that one crashes
every time.
     -- Guy Macon
%
And yet, here we are, showing that the clothes have no emporer.
     -- Sysiphus
%
If you had a fucking clue to begin with, you'd know that MIME is /not/
plain-text - and in fact is called MIME to *differentiate* the format from
plain-text. HTML isn't plain-text, either. That's /why/ it's called
"Hypertext Markup Language".
     -- +Cibao+
%
For all of that, and becuase of your personal charm, I hereby award you:

"Clueless Fuckwit of the Leap Year 2004"

Be sure to show it to your mommy, I'm sure she'll be proud of ya.
     -- +Cibao+
%
Why dontcha try doing a simple google search to learn and understand
the /why/ of Usenet standards/protocols instead of tilting at
windmills that you obviously don't even begin to understand.
     -- +Cibao+
%
I hate offending people without realising that I've done so... it
takes all the fun out of it.
     -- Steve Youngs
%
You're no one if you haven't been killfiled by Alan Connor.
     -- Mark Hill
%
I respecfully disagree to "easier to learn methods".
What do you learn, and what do you KNOW, when a "wizard" does the
configuration for you?
But then everybody can "use" a piano, very few can play it.
     -- Stanislaw Flatto
%
Put the troll down
     -- Billy Watt
%
To paraphrase a tired old cop movie cliche, "You must be the good
troll".
     -- notbob
%
We have been helping people grow up one STFW at time.

                                                       __
                                  ______.-------------|  |
          __                     (______(             |  |\\\\\
    ..--''  ``--.._                 ___/ `------------|  |___  
          __       ``--..______.---'|| \            __   |  ||
    ..--''  ``--.._           / ||  ||  |      | | |  |  |  ||
                   ``--.._____\ ||  ||  |      | | |__|  |  ||
   The plug is pulled          `---.||_/                 |  ||
   Plonked is the troll                \ .------------|  |---'
   Feed him I will not           .------(    :F_P:    |  |\\\\\
                                 `------`-------------|  |
                        http://asciipr0n.com/fp/ascii `--'
     -- Faux_Psuedo
%
Isn't funny how Microsoft seemingly arbitrarily decided to call
directories folders? In the next release you'll probably see an icon on
your desktop called "My Electric Adding Machine."
     -- Steve Youngs
%
He knows you're trying to kill file him and
that his morphs are working on you. But no matter how many times he
morphs, he can't beat the kill file called self-restraint, which is
where you choose not to give him the attention he so desperately
craves.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Ideas can't be 0wn3d, only computers which store ideas.  :)
 -- l33t haX0r

     -- Keith Keller
%
Slrn is the best.  It just takes a while to make it absolutly perfect
for each user.  But thats why it is the best.  Becasue it can be
perfectly attuned to your every need.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Only spammers and relatives send HTML mail.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Take a clue from those who know.  Go to the HTML newsgroups.  Count up
the number of people there who post in HTML.  Go to the MIME groups.
Count up the number of people there who post in MIME.  Note that even
the people who's carriers and lives revolve around MIME and HTML don't
even post in them because the know that the Usenet is supposed to be a
plain text arena.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
[MIME on Usenet]
Do you remember actually *TYPING* 87 lines in your response, or did your
(poor, bloated, stupid) choice in clients instead SEND that many because
of your (poor, bloated, stupid) choice of software settings?
     -- +Cibao+
%
Never in my entire life have I ever come across anyone as mentally
challenged as this fuckwit.  No, sorry, that's an insult to fuckwits.
This guy is in a league all to his own.
     -- Steve Youngs
%
No one here thinks they
are running the newsgroup, they are just making of it what it has
always been.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
"Can't we all just get along?"  Oh, yeah, and be my unpaid commercial
support staff while you're at it.(If not, or if you tell me to READ
something, I will bitch and moan about how mean-spirited you are, and how
you try to own the NG)
     -- Sysiphus
%
 This is USENET. The wild west of online
communication. Where trolls and flames roam rampant.
     -- Cichlidiot
%
[ ... ]
>  out why no one else sees thier actions as herioc"
>                        -Nobody (made up example with errors)

Thas funny.  I dn't remember writtting that.  It shur looks like
somthing I wood write but you sade you makde it up so I'm toing to
have s to turst you.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
What are you implying, that hockey players are freakin' violent?
Say that again and I'll kick your ass!
     -- Keith Keller
%
For an alleged killfiler, you certainly seem to show a penchant
for ringing the fscking dinner bell.
     -- Rich Grise
%
Tux without the pipe is somehow disturbing.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Did you know that rm -rf ./usr/bin and rm -rf /usr/bin are two
drastically different things? ;)
     -- Ciro The Spider-Man
%
If the CTO really wants the business to succeed, he'll find geeks to run
the servers - not business-oriented people who happen to know computers
and will try to keep them working because they're geting paid, but geeks
who are passionate about what they do and would probably keep doing it                      
for free if they didn't have bills to worry about. These are the people
that will pour their soul into making things run smoothly - and these   
are the people who run Slackware.
     -- Phroggy on Slashdot
%
automatic upgrading is nice if you can risk ruining your system. if you
depend on your system, however, you use your brain when doing security
upgrades
     -- Joost Kremers
%
I consider knowledge valuable ... don't need it all, but like to have it.
     -- Andreas Paasch
%
If we wish to
have a ritual in which we sacrifice some evil animal, allow me to make
the following suggestion: trolls.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Nor am I afraid of hosing my own system. Sometimes things go wrong and
don't turn out how you intended. That's called life. I suggest you look
into getting one; they're lots of fun.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
I knew I'd get a mod-quote for that! It was so..... +Chrion+ :-)
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Nothing says "I'm a BOZO" like quoting _yourself_ in the FAQ. =)
     -- +Cibao+
%

u talk as if shipping software according to a calander instead of
when it's really ready is a Good Thing.  It isn't.
     -- Guy Macon
%
What rot. I would never pay MY money to people who write programs for
an OS of which they have no understanding. Hmmm, wouldn't that cover
all WINDOWS-based software as well? NOBODY understands Windows. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
What's a looser?  A very relaxed poster?
     -- notbob    
%
> Why slackware
Well, because Slackware rules amongst general-purpose Linux distros
And Linux sucks less then most other OS'
     -- Menno Duursma
%
>> Why slackware when there is windows out there already?
> Because it can stay up for more than half an hour.

I'm holding out for RonJeremyOS.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Slackware /because/ MSWindows is out there, and isn't any good.
     -- Lew Pitcher
%
That's why we like Slackware, there's usually a good reason for not
using the latest and greatest of a particular software package.
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
You have had your hand held by other distros. Slackware won't do as
much for you as they do. If you want to learn how things work, that's
great, because you will. But if you just want things to work for you
without caring about how and why it did, Slackware's a poor fit.
      -- /dev/rob0
%
roll, roll, roll your own,
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream
     -- Joost Kremers
%
On Wed, 31 Mar 2004 21:39:58 -0800, Guy Macon wrote as usually only Guy
  Macon can do, but you never really know if it is THE Guy Macon, or a
  cheap imitation Guy Macon or a Guy-Macon-lite:
     -- /dev/rob0
%
The way you explain things, it hard to figure out what the problem was in
the first place, if there was a problem of course, possably;
 "operator error".
 "Two many fingers on keyboard at the same time".
 "Hitting the anykey to often".

Change the operator at the keyboard and press the anykey to continue.
    -- Richard Adams
%
Surely the point about slackware is that it's still redolant  of oldskool
unix, and doesn't feel like a poor man's windows? The main strength of it
is that it still works properly, and doesn't appeal to everyone.
    -- Ancipital
%
Just MHO, flames to Dave Null, or someone else who cares.
    -- Ancipital
%
#installpkg clueforclueless-1.1.1-i586.tgz
     -- Glyn Millington
%
> What's Slackware got going for it?

a 10 year track record that speaks for itself;
a simple philosophy of design that merges tradition and practice;
a strong and diverse community of supporters;
security, reliablilty, flexibility.
     -- William Hunt
%
- - Morality. Slackware is the most moral Linux distribution. This is to
say that one need not worry that Slackware will dump core on you, shit
in your yard, bang your girl friend, or shoot the dog. Slackware only
does what you tell it to do.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Most Slackers agree
that dependency checking is a function of the sysadmin, not the
operating system.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Take the same risks with software installs as you
would with any other serious subject; if you wouldn't do your own house wiring
without some preparatory learning, why would you "make install" without some
preparatatory learning?
     -- Lew Pitcher
%
Hold it right there! *You* are the "linux community". If you have a problem with
the package tools, /you/ are responsible. I'm not saying that you have to fix
it, but /you/ (the one complaining) can choose to complain to the people who
write the tools, or /you/ can choose to suffer in silence. There is no 'other
guy' linux community that has an obligation to make your experience nicer.
There's only you.
     -- Lew Pitcher
%
Talk to the hand. Who cares about "wider adoption". It's not a goal. It's not an
issue. It's market speak from a corporation who wants more people to give it
money. "Wider adoption" isn't Linux. Do you talk about the "impediments to wider
adoption" of ball peen hammers? I don't think so. Linux is a /tool/; if it's
usefull, it will be used. There is no 'plan' or 'goal', contrary to the in-joke
of 'world domination'.
     -- Lew Pitcher
%
With attitude adjustment, _*ANYTHING*_ can be fun. :-)
     -- Steve Youngs
%
People spend time
putting in elegant design, speed, compatability, and maintainability
because doing that is fun. Whether linux is fun to the end-user or not
is just a side-effect of that.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
My God I feel sorry for you. Install Slackware, GAFC, and come back
here. Until then, bugger off!
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Mandrake and Slackware have a lot of the same
applications but Mandrake offers some[0] that slack doesn't have and
Slack has some[1] that mdk doesn't.

[0] like the ones that overwrite your handwritten config files.
[1] like the ones that manage software without worring about
    deppendancy bloat.
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Excessive quoting, likewise, does not invalidate your point[s], but it
is the wrong thing to do nonetheless. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
slackware doesn't add much beyond what is necessary to get a linux system
running. no fancy installers or GUI config utilities. as a result, the
system is leaner, more stable and doesn't get in your way when you want to
do things *your* way instead of how the distro makers think you should do
things.
     -- Joost Kremers
%
[1] TING![2]
[2] There Is No Goat
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Conventions *are* reality.
     -- Keith Keller
%
You simply can't argue with a pedant.
Trust me, I'm one of them ;)
     -- George Georgakis
%
Give a kid a pr0n password and he'll be happy for a day.
Teach him how to sniff for it, he'll start nagging for more knowledge.
     -- Menno Duursma
%
*Sirens go off, red lights flash, and in the distance like the voice of
thunder come the words.* "Thou shall not ask an OT question here."
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Modems can also be dangerous. Once a whole gang of killfiled trolls
escaped and got too close to the serial port. Some rapid-fire AT
commandos modem all down. Not a pretty sight.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Some people in white coats came and did a "mv +chiron+ /looney/bin". ;)
     -- James Stafford
%
The wheel is a great invention, let's use it for our vehicle as well :)
     -- nabis
%
I am having difficulty reconciling the following statements:

>OK, first I'll warn you, I'm a real hacker.
>X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1158
     -- Guy Macon
%
Please leave your marketing cubicle, proceed directly to the nearest
techie, and beg to be soundly beaten with the largest available clue
stick.
     -- Old Man
%
there is no life before UNIX
     -- Floyd L. Davidson
%
Perhaps you downloaded the "r00t3d" version of Slackware. If your
/etc/slackware-version says "Slackware 9.1.31337" you're in trouble.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
It looks like Pat's common-sense strikes again. :) 
     -- Mark Hill
%
You've given
us practially no information, asked for advice on how to do something,
only after you attempted to do something, and tried to mask it in such
a way that we'll tell you how to do it the way you decided was best.
Now ain't that a fscked up thing?
    -- Alan Hicks
%
i searched aols through google groups <http://groups.google.com> for 
[...] and the first thread that comes up already suggests a possible
solution. i could give it to you, but then you would miss out on the
benefit of learning to search for yourself. ;-P
    -- Joost Kremers
%
I don't know where the hell this guy gets off
thinking he's all high-and-mighty and thqat we should bow down and kiss
his balls. What a complete and total ass.

*PLONK*

Wait.... can I plonk myself?
     -- Alan Hicks
%
And so what exactly do you call a file that is hidden such that the
default behavior of nearly any and every command to list files will not
show them? I'd call it a hidden file. What is etc.tar? It's a tar file.
What is Kenneth? A troll.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
I have a feeling this wil soon become 'GPs Slackware's dying tour - 2004'
     -- Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Slackers have many times in the past been accused of elitism. There's a
reason for that; we are elite. It takes a special kind of thinking to
"get it", and Slackers tend to "get it" much more than users of other
distros. If we feel like we belong to a select group, it's because we
feel like we have a very high level of in depth knowledge on free
software in general and have a right to feel superior. Here I may act
somewhat snobbish, but I can't do laundry for shit. I act a lot less
snobbish around people who are doing laundry. Those people have a right
to be snobbish about being better at doing laundry than  myself.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Open source is about doing something because it's fun to do. Not
always is it fun to help other people. Rarely is it fun to hold some
one's hand. Never is it fun to teach a pupil who doesn't wish to learn,
yet wants an "A" in the class (unless it's a really hot girl without a
lot of morals).
     -- Alan Hicks
%
O.K. here it is.  After doing a fair                                                            
amount of research and experimentation, I found that the answer is                                                                
... something that I am not willing to share with someone who has                                                                 
consistently abused every newsgroup participant who has helped him.
     -- Guy Macon
%
But then, beat poetry wasn't for everyone. It wasn't intended to be.                                                                
Like any great work of creativity, it was made to please its creator.                                                               
                                                                                                                                    
Just like Slackware itself.                                                                                                         

(Ooooh, this post managed to slide into topicality. :)
     -- /dev/rob0
%
You better stick to this group because here in AOLS we are trained                                                                  
professionals when it comes to handling individuals who are grumpy                                                                  
on a permanent basis.
     -- Thomas Overgaard
%
Slackware users can be some really cool people.
     -- Allegedly Pat V.                                                     
%
Well, you see, Science is the X axis of multifractal reality, and             
Religion is the Y axis, and I'm on the Z axis.
     -- Rich Grise
%
I find that those who have to use profanity as a means of emphasis,           
usually have nothing worth listening to.
     -- HJohnson
%
#!/bin/sh                                                                       
                                                                                
if [ $# -ne 1 ] ; then                                                          
    echo "usage: $0 <newsgroup-i-posted-to>"                                    
    exit 1                                                                      
fi                                                                              
GROUP_I_POSTED_TO=$1                                                            
GROUP_I_SHOULDVE_POSTED_TO='alt.test'                                           
                                                                                
if [ "X${GROUP_I_POSTED_TO}" != "X${GROUP_I_SHOULDVE_POSTED_TO}" ] ; then       
    echo "I should've posted to \"${GROUP_I_SHOULDVE_POSTED_TO}\""              
else                                                                            
    echo "Yay me!, I posted to the right group."                                
fi
     -- Paul Wisehart
%
I am a newbie. But not just any newbie: I'm         
a Senior Executive Newbie. Newbie Cum Laude. But in '75 I was pretty            
handy with bicycle tires.
     -- /dev/rob0
%
Everything is obvious when you know where to look.
     -- Keith Keller
%
In 2016, slackware 19.1 will be followed by slackware XX.                       
the new voice control shell will be a big hit, but it will                      
have problems with an AI driver that sometimes gets moody                       
and suggests that you find some good music instead of the                       
crap you keeping playing.
     -- William Hunt
%
oh-no-sec-ond n.: 1. That infinitesimal interval between hitting                                                                
the "send" button and realizing you've made some spectacular blunder                                                                
that shouldn't have been sent.
     -- Rich Grise
%
There is no slack in this one. You are hereby remanded and stripped of                                                              
any BOZO points you may or may not have earned to date. You are hereby                                                              
required to goof off at a commandline for the next three days while                                                                 
successfully convincing your boss that you are doing real work. You                                                                 
will say three "Hail Bob"s twice a day, at dawn and at dusk.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
When two or more people here say the same thing to          
you, it's a pretty damn good bet they're right. This ain't a mandrake           
newsgroup.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
microsoft needs to differentiate 'NT Workstation' vs 'NT Server'                
to support their marketing strategys.  unix, gnu/linux, doesn't.                
the same kernel can be configured for everything from tiny                      
embedded systems to large supercomputers and everything in between.
     -- William Hunt
%
Dependency checking for a            
skilled admin causes more headaches than it saves. For noobs lacking in         
Clue, dependency checking seems to be a gift from God. In actuallity,           
it is a crutch.
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Death of Slackawarer predicted! Film at 11!
     -- Guy Macon
%
There are a few others that some consider trolls, but I consider to be          
more like the annoying kid on the schoolyard. These ones though don't           
contribute much of anything useful. Calling them trolls is probably a           
stretch because these days they're mostly ignored, perhaps it's better to       
call them the angry spectres of the newsgroup, constantly rattling chains       
only to be ignored.
     -- Cichlidiot
%
well, you never see the computers that just run, without causing                
problems. so why *would* you see slackware? ;-)
     -- Joost Kremers
%
Printing on Unix began not too long after people started carving                
letters into stone, and it hasn't changed much since then.
     -- wg
%
Just what is basic, anyway?  To Linus it's a sane memory architecture.
     -- Keith Keller
%
Anyway it occurs to me that ISP's "supporting" Linux would not be a             
Good Thing overall. I mean, look at how they "support" Windows: a               
telephone monkey reads a poorly-thought-out script to the hapless               
victim, and there is no real understanding of the issues.
    -- /dev/rob0
%
if [ "x${STFW}" -ge "x${RTFM}" -o ! "${GAFC}" ] ; then
   links www.tldp.org/LDP/abs/html/
elif [[ ${ABC} != "$GAFC"]] ; then
     echo -e '[*]\nScore: =-9999\nFrom: \cA.*B.*C\C" > $SCORE
else echo "Amego!  Uno mas cervesa porfavour!"
fi
     -- Faux_Pseudo
%
Microsoft is a combination of the Ferengi and the Borg. Unfortunately,
they use the Ferengi for programming and the Borg for marketing.
     -- Ciro The Spider-Man
%
On the MDK group, you get lots of nice folks who have a lot of
misinformation that they are happy to share in their eagerness to help.
I'd much rather have Hicks or notbob or Raven say "Hey you asshole, you
can find the answer here or there, or over this way" and then when you
come back and and say "I still don't understand when it says such and
such" they give you the answer or at least most of it... and it's right.
     -- A-B C
%
Will code for beer!
     -- William Hunt
%
But _everything_ is about GP.  For years, he's been trying to rescue
Slackware from its obviously impending death.  And he could do it, too,
if only that idiot PV would _listen_ to him instead of _squeezing his
head_.
     -- Old Man
%
"He's prolly got a bottle of hand lotion and a box of tissues next to the
keyboard while he jabbers out his latest, incoherent gibberish."
     -- +Cibao+
%
The guy who types "pgp trash troll delete" is a  real cocksucker and
should be hung up by the nuts. I will use pgp if I please and no
fucking dimwitted little cunt will tell me otherwise...
     -- Alan Hicks
%
Pat sprinkles each CD with pixie dust.
From: Michael
%
ordially, as always,
From: rm
%
I consider adding untrusted local users to be equivalent to handing
out the root password.
From: Michael
%
I'm an Intel CPU P4 2,6Ghz HT whit bus at 800Mhz and an Intel
Motherboard D865PERL...
From: kb8
%
Contrarian you are, question asked but not for learning.
Difficult the explaining of Bozo points is.
In you, slack is not, community is not.
Without community, no care there is, no respect there is.
Without respect, no model, no reference, no context, no meaning.
Without meaning, no explaining.
Bitterness abundantly there is.  Buzzing of flies.
BFD, GAFL.
HTH.
From: William Hunt
%
This is me staring at you vacantly...
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
why does it have to be so d* hard to give out free support ?
From: William Hunt
%
Wow! Some one who isn't a total prick when they're asked nicely to
trim and bottom post. Bob be praised!
From: Alan Hicks
%
You crashed your hard disk? Allow me to help.
Me- In the name of Jesus I command ye to SPIN!
Congregation- Praise Jesus!
Me- SPIN!!!
Congregation- Praise the Lord!
After all, getting a failed hard drive to work again is more an
exercise in faith than anything else.
From: Alan Hicks In: slackware-OT
%
It would seem that software must be monolithic in order to be
considered economically feasible, has to have enough bells and
whistles to be saleable, which translates directly to a necessary
level of complexity that almost mandates that the code cannot be
completely understood.  This means that the programmer is unable,
perhaps not even expected, to have a complete grasp of what the
program is intended to accomplish in operation. 
From: pseudonym
%
I had my doubts as to whether this was actually God speaking, but
when He said "Slackware rules" I could tell that it really was Him...
From: Guy Macon
%
If you are probibly not the first person to do something it is likely
someone has already posted the answer.  It is times like this we must
STFW.  Doing so gives us Clue.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Only takes me one line to say *PLONK*!
From: Alan Hicks
%
It's Keith's Fault
From: Cibao  In: Slackware-OT
%
Don't forget that, like Slackers, sky divers look down on others.
(Well, except the people who dive after them.)
From: Keith Keller
%
You, on the other hand, are simply having the crap beat out of you
for being an asshole.
From: Rich Grise
%
Don't bother. You obviously won't suceed if you have to come here and
ask for a tutorial.
From: Alan Hicks
%
No definitions were found for GAFC.
No definitions were found for STFW.
could someone help me ? :-P
From: subby
%
I though only AOLers were scared about their IPs getting
out.  <g>
From: AthlonRob In: Slackware-OT
%
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.  Therefore
you have few friends
From: Laurie Ann Riley In: Slackware-OT
%
Not all AOLers are scared about their IPs getting out.  Some of them
have bought software that hides it.  :)
From: Simon Williams In: Slackware-OT
%
But seriously, it is probably just that a certain type of personality
is drawn to that type of career. Scientific thinkers might migrate
towards science, artists migrate towards their art, skilled workers
practice their craft, people that really have no useful skills go into
politics.
From: Bradley Reed 
%
More proof for the 'people R dum' file.
$ echo "William Willett" >> idiots.log
From: Blumf
%
Since this country was founded, more and more laws have come into
existence to protect the masses, "save the children", and inhibit
natural selection at the expense of our freedoms.
From: Kurt In: Slackware-OT
%
And yes, both the republican and democratic parties are un-American
because they want to interfere in our individual lives way too much.
From: Kurt In: Slackware-OT
%
Sometimes it is good to fool around with other distributions to remind
yourself why you use Slackware.
From: Kurt
%
Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore.
From: Kurt
%
I would consider myself a noob to this group but I can also honestly
say i've never been bashed or flamed for asking questions here. I have
observed that if you take the time to ask an intelligent question and
at least make some effort to fix your own problem the 'regulars' will
help you out.
From: Scott Eberl 
%
it's alt.os.linux.slackware not alt.my.personal.life.story
From: Dominik L.. Borkowski
%
I tend not to confuse technical news groups for shrink sessions.
From: Dominik L.. Borkowski
%
Subject: Re: test
Failed. 400 newsgroups with test in the name and your post ended
up in alt.os.linux.slackware.
From: James Woodard 
%
My make was in the wrong directory, and I wound up recompiling the
entire OS from scratch. It actually worked like a charm.
From: Alan Hicks
%
I don't see any disgruntled posters here.
Oh.  That's right.  I killfiled them.  My bad.
From: Guy Macon
%
If it ain't broke, upgrade!
From: Stanislaw Flatto
%
learn to bash, it's a vital skill in slack.
From: Joost Kremer
%
Unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and abject imbeciles often
go astray.
From: L Alessi-Pietrosh
%
Being the only man to ever manage to get his tongue stuck the spacebar
and ALT key on a keyboard, I'm sure you displayed your impressive
ability to say and do incredibly stupid things as soon as you learned
to speak and move about.
From: L Alessi-Pietrosh
%
I'm sure you have perfected the craft of saying stupid things to the
level of an art form that only botched lobotomy patients and those
suffering from gangrene of the brain stem can come close to
equaling.
From: L Alessi-Pietrosh
%
people who pack source tarballs without putting all the files in a 
folder first shout be shot.
From: John Bleichert
%
inside every Windows victim is a budding Linux user crying for freedom, 
justice, and the Clueful Way.
From: Rich Grise
%
Newsreader killfile
I speak from experience
Use and be happy
From: Mark Hill
%
This is Linux; do it your way with only a nod to tradition. Don't
forget the nod, lest you find out the hard way why the tradition 
exists...
From: name
%
Arrr, mateys, it gives "keel file" a whole new meaning, ye
louse-hostin' anonymous remailers!
From: Keith Keller on Talk Like A Pirate Day
%
By the way, if you're going to call someone stupid, it helps not to do
something *really* stupid, like top-posting.  Or calling somebody
stupid for directing you to the fucking creators of a program with
questions about it.
From: Keith Keller
%
writing a paper on computer security, and then distributing it as an
MS Word file? that's like organising a symposium on international 
cooperation and asking gw bush as keynote speaker...
From: Joost Kremers
%
I would have to manipulate him into thinking it's his idea.
From: Rich Grise
%
I could eat dog shit for a week and PUKE out a better TV tuner card
than
that Leadtek TV2000XP Expert crap.
From: Brian
%
I'll killfile you so I don't "bother" you anymore.
From: NeoSadist
%
It has been my observation that swaret is not as dependable as
Slackware-Current
From: NeoSadist
%
Call it inertia, call it bad programming, call it what you will, but
$() is still the new kid on the block and back-ticks are the crusty
old geiser that people still use because they are comfortable with
him. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Good to hear that for once my question was not utterly stupid
From: Tim
%
oh no! you're not dragging *me* into it!
(being dragged nonetheless)
From: Alan Hicks In: Slackware-OT
%
I may just have issues.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
remember that you can never run "/sbin/lilo" too many times
From: Shilo Bacca
%
k f <RET> a <RET> y
From: Joost Kremers
%
this distro is so stable
we've been reduced to posting about crap
From: prodigal1
%
The average linux user's clue rating is dropping every day. Personally
I don't think these are the people who are drawn to Slackware. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
doing something for some one else when there are no
rewards for you is being the opposite of a dickhead.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
there is no such thing as a windows geek 
From: Madhusudan Singh
%
Anything I learn in Slackware is likely to transfer over to some
degree to another OS, even one as fundamentally different as Mac OSX
or Windows XP. Moving from Slackware to a BSD or a Unix OS is mostly
smooth and trouble free. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
people have a right to post whatever they want, and take the
concomitant abuse, and they have a right to bitch and piss and moan
and snivel and troll and trollfeed to their heart's content, and I
have the power to ignore their silly rantings, as do we all.
From: Rich Grise
%
your twisted logic is still asinine.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
Dude, just calm down, mm'kay? Let's all just slack in peace and love,
mm'kay?
From: Mario Berger
%
Not wanting to be sexist, but if I went on and did unto _women_ what I
would have them do unto _me_, jee, I'd be in prison before I could say
"rabbi's fault"... ;)
From: Mario Berger
%
The word "dude" is certainly often seen in such contexts, but it
generally implies that the person *using* the term is the dope-head,
not the person being referred to :-) 
Of course, the rest of the post was annoying enough by itself.
From: Jeffrey Froman
%
So now the question is, why are you editing SGML files when you don't
know what they are?
From: Blumf
%
The shorter the answer, the more stupid the question, it would seem
From: Mario Berger
%
Slackware's Changelog is the most frequently viewed public
corospondence Pat has with the public at large. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Good grief, I haven't ranted this long in a while.  Must be the beer
and the late hour.  Enjoy.
From: Beowulf
%
WWCD
What Would +Cibao+ Do
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
How about the WWCD[0] method of getting along with others? While it
might not earn you many friends among the unwashed masses, those
people
skilled in the art of Slack and possessing much Clue will adore you,
and isn't that who you want after all?
[0] What Would +Cibao+ Do?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
The God of Slack is a vengeful God.
From: Cibao Cu Ali G Colibri In: Slackware-OT
%
The easy way is by preparation through study.
The hard way is preparation through failure.  Your choice.
From: name
%
Linux is a wonderful system that gets better every day and Slackware,
in particular, makes it both a joy and sometimes a pain to take
advantage of the system to accomplish whatever it is you want to
accomplish without a lot of barriers in the way. In my case, I'm not a
kernel building guy -- I know other stuff -- and I've accepted the
fact that if I just wait a little while things will come and the parts
and pieces will work. It's that darned waiting part that's difficult;
instant gratification can't always be had but good things do come to
those willing to wait. One of the best things is that you can, if you
have to, go in another direction and get to where you need to.
From: Thomas Ronayne
%
I'm the kind of person that continued to beat his head against the
wall until either his head or the wall breaks[0] 
[0] Head - 43, Wall - 39
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
For best results, use genuine hog lard and stir in one pint of human
blood from a virgin. If you are unable to find a virgin some old coot
who can't get it on anymore will do. Copies of the spellbook and
buckets of lard can be purchased from me for reasonable fees given the
quality of the black magic and hog lard, which is a necessary material
component in almost all black magic spells (especially love spells for
who doesn't love a bucket of lard?). You'll have to find your own
virgin's blood if you wish to cast spells past the seventh circle.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Dear Santa Claus, all I want for Christmas is the latest version of
Slackware
From: Michael Black
%
man, you rock! i mean, we need guys like you on internet. without you,
this ng would be dead long time ago. your helping skills and your
witty remarks are most exquisite. you are also the reason i dont hate
people from france!
From: Mad-Eye Moody
%
Subject: Re: Patrick "The Man" Volkerding needs medical help
Can't he just install the new kernel and reboot?
Oh, it's a hardware problem!
From: Knig Pr, GfbAEV
%
Six months ago I got tired of wife getting every virus and worm on the
planet with XP so in middle of night I loaded Slack on her laptop,
told her it was the new Windows update, version K (which explained the
"K" start button.) I put on Codeweavers Xover and loaded the MS Office
stuff. She started it up, remarked how the new graphics looked so
nice, and went to work. 
I finally told her the truth, but for a few weeks she thought it was
Windows and that MS had a new mascot (how else could I explain the
penguin?) 
From: Al. C
%
well, and i'm Q and i'm telling you that i created that time-line
for you so that you would come in here and make a fool of yourself.
From: Joost Kremers
%
AMD64 is more expensive than 32-bit x86 if you've already bought the
32-bit box. GAFC.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Thanks for all the replies (except for the one idiot)
From: Beauford
%
Nothing constructive to say so they just say something to let everyone
know they're still an asshole. 
Probably 'cause they weren't breast fed, but hey, I'm just guessing
here.
From: Beauford
%
Oh, that. That's the 'Linux Hurdle'. You have to get over that to be
allowed to use linux.
From: jayjwa
%
Personly, I'd trade a 'cannot open shared object file: No such file or
directory' for a 'Blah-blah has preformed and illegal operation,
Windows will now close' any day. 
From: jayjwa
%
I used Gentoo once and then threw the CD off the balcony. It flys
better than it works.......
From: Beauford
%
Another poor soul who has nothing better to do than scour the
newsgroups acting like an idiot.
From: Beauford
%
what's a terminal printer? what's archie? veronica? jughead?
From: GLK9MM
%
Now, now.... Don't cry.  Educate.
From: notbob
%
it's official
this distro is so stable
we've been reduced to posting about crap like this
[...] there's nothing left to talk about
From: prodigal1
%
it's official
this distro is so stable
we've been reduced to posting about crap like this
[...] there's nothing left to talk about
From: prodigal1
%
"If we [slacksec] get slashdotted in the night, rm -rf ~/public_html -
it's all in a subversion repository anyway."
From: Fred Emmott in #slacksec on irc.freenode.net
%
btw, when you uninstall the shadow package, you loose login and
su. Makes it tough to do much of anything useful afterwards. Just a
heads up to the clueless (like me, duh).
From: chud
%
maybe you'll want to rethink that. hint: why is your public key called 
public key?
From: Joost Kremers
%
So, morph away. When the new guy turns out to be an asshole too, I'll
ignore him as well.
From: Rich Grise
%
I'd say that the problem is that your head is so far up your ass that
your brain has become oxygen-starved, and you can't think clearly.
From: Dan C <youmustbejoking@invalid.org>
%
most people bork their share of systems starting out, but those with
Clue recognize it is their screw up, not "the damned system". Once you
acknowledge your part in the problem, you can begin to resolve it by
getting back to basics and hitting the books/manuals/man
pages. Whining on a forum, newsgroup or webpage does not count. 
From: Cichlidiot 
%
Now finally got access to a usable news-server so i can use a proper
client, so *plonk*.
From: Fred Emmott
%
but he is the holy messanger from god of trolls himself! praise him
and accept anything he says withought critic thought! it be dogma.
From: Mad-Eye Moody 
%
If there is to be an rm cult, there must be ceremony, and a totem.
The noble goat is definitely out.  How about the stentor (pond scum)?
From: Old Man
%
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
From: Realto Margarino
%
people who post here seem to me to be pretty hard-headed and clue-ful
From: Glyn Millington
%
It hasn't occured to you yet that changing hardware won't
make whatever you are doing wrong into the right thing?
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
I could sure go for some possum right about now.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
We'll think fondly of you when, in time, you feel like that lonely guy
wandering about in the video rental shop... you know that guy... the
betamax owner.
Then again, we'll probably just laugh at you.
From: Steve Youngs
%
AFG (ask fuckin' Google)
From: Mario Berger
%
Make sure the cat-5 cable is good!!
From: Walt R
%
That syslog message can be extra confusing to a newbie when your
username is mark. :)
From: Mark Hill
%
Wait a minute...I haven't been here in a few months.  Am I to
understand that the almighty king of "PGP Troll Trash Delete" is now
using a pgp sig?!?
From: catfoo
%
I must have slipped into a coma for a while.  If I find out that
+Chiron+ has spoken out against using profanity on Usenet, I'm gonna
find a bunker to crawl in to.  The end must be near!
From: catfoo
%
boosting my original content rating.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
would you two mind holstering your dicks and start talking about slack
again?
From: prodigal1 <prodig@l.com>
%
Did I not type loud enough?
From: Franklin
%
Your eloquent application of redundancy is baffling.
From: Mario Berger 
%
My point is that the way of slack is to understand the philosophy
behind the tool, and to see the interweaving of ideas and purposes
combining to become more than just the sum of it's parts.
From: Cibao Cu Ali G Colibri In: Slackware-OT
%
Imagine having to hold A B-C's hand through _every_ package he builds
From: Glyn Millington In: Slackware-OT
%
"Clueless" is the first stage of GAFC.
From: Rich Grise
%
I am now the embodiment of all that is evil and unholy, the pure
incarnate of the anti-Christ. Everywhere I go flowers wilt, animals
panic, and babies cry.
From: Alan Hicks
%
I think that in some fairy tales, the little hero is lost in a dark
and deep forest. But in fact, there is a solution to any problem he
can encounter, because the forest is populated by numbering little,
gentle, but hidden goblins, with many powers, that can resolve all.
But to obtain aid, you must know the name of the goblin. 
I find it's a good metaphor of Unix/Linux
From: Gauthier
%
rm doesn't like goblins because they are smarter than, less clumsy
than, and not as ugly as their distant cousin the troll.
From: ~cr~ 
%
And BTW turn your english_mode=on.
From: Wiktor Grebla
%
Never delete /etc/shadow.
From: Keith Keller
%
Seems I was naive to think the questions were naive.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
There are a small bunch of assholes on this NG and I thought I knew
them all, and tangled with them all,  but you're a new one... and not
a particularly interesting one.
From: Al. C
%
Perhaps if you wish to use an operating system with a package
management system, other than that supplied with 'Slackware', you
should look to another operating system.
From: Two Ravens
%
You /could/ also ask this in rec.food.cuisine.jewish, and be just
as on topic.
From: Lew Pitcher
%
Paul Black wrote
> and the third time I can't remember exactly how it screwed up.
it, or you? ;-P
From: Joost Kremers 
%
Ah, yet another prediction of the death of Slackware, thus assuring
its continued existence!
From: Keith Keller
%
I wouldn't wish 'make config' on someone that hasn't done this before
From: Simon
%
Fork off your own distro or fuck off.
From: Mario Berger 
%
Write us a document about how brown and moist your world view is
with your head jammed up your ass.
From: Realto Margarino
%
You've become 'rm-infected'
From: Eric Hameleers
%
Forgive my ignorance, but while I know about the AOLS Fortune Mods
and use them, what does AOLS stand for?
From: Peter
%
The mysterious inscription "AOLS" can only mean "Amerika Ostentiae
Libatorum Sustentum" Literally "americans obviously drink to survive"
(Latin adoption by this time had widely corrupted the Celtic tongue.) 
From: E. Charters
%
Bullshit.  Keith has been maintaining the FAQ for a very long time
now.  It used to be a long file that was posted to the group every so
often until he made this effort which I think is pretty damn cool.
The FAQ, and google, are a great place to start when trying to resolve
a problem.
From: ~kurt
%
I still think you're a top-posting dipshit who can't understand simple
logic.  Begone.
From: Dan C
%
The GPL is not a contract, it is a license.  Repeat that until
you understand it.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
You have one Hell of an imagination, not to mention the most
stylish tin foil hat that I've seen for quite awhile.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
Just who keeps squeezing your little head?
From: ~kurt
%
C++ is an another example of things that were made bigger and more
difficult just because they could be. If program languages were cars,
the C++ mobile would spend most of its time getting built, would get
1/2  a mpg, nobody would ever know if it was realling running, and if
you turned the wheel and shifted at the same time, the car would crash
it would take a complete rebuild to get it back on the road.
From: E. Charters
%
The SRF&G Commission has decided to formally censor Joost Kremers for
using non-western calendars.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
This may be a long (very, very long) shot. Is the tape cartridge
write-protected?
From: HJohnson
%
There is another alternative... set up printing _without_ Apsfilter
and _without_ Cups.  It is possible and the learning experience is
good for your soul. :-)
From: Steve Youngs
%
      ________________________________________
     |                                        |
     | Rules of membership:                   |
     | I.   Thou shalt not top post.          | <- note how you
     | II.  Thou shalt not feed trolls        |    broke that one
     | III. Only one ticket for a lap-dance   |
     |      per year per member               | <- see below
     | IV.  No posting allowed after having   | <- note that I
     |      had 175 ml (undiluted) of booze.  |    have broke that
     | V.   Thou shalt teach people to fish   |    one.
     |      and not give it to them without   |
     |      getting fair value in trade.      |
     `----------------------------------------'
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
No political or socially iconic animals were injured in the making of
this post.
From: E. Charters
%
The computer must be on, Linux must be active, and cron must be
running before /anything/ in crontab can be executed. 
From: Lew Pitcher
%
I can just see rm walking down the rubber-walled hallways of his
hospital shouting "fuck, shit, bitch, pgp trash troll delete!" at
random.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
I nominate Faux_Pseudo to look for spelling errors.  ;-)
From: Keith Keller
%
Re: AOLS Mod Quotes Vol VIII
>  Quotes from Realto Margarino and Al. C
-o option?
From: Blumf
%
Might I suggest you take a 6th grade writing course and learn to use
meaningful sentences and place them inside paragraphs. However, your
post probably doubled the entropy on my system which is good for
random number generation, so perhaps I should be thanking you.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Mini-how-to-use-slackbuilds-on-slamd64:
1) Change arch to x86_64
2) Remove any -march and -mcpu flags from CFLAGS
3) Add -fPIC to CFLAGS
4) Pray and run it
5) Patch the program
6) Goto 4
From: Fred Emmott
%
Installing gentoo makes me feel like a script-kiddie following a
recipe, and producing a non-viable result.
From: GrantC
%
It never hurts to run ldconfig.  I suggest that you read its man page
to see for yourself what it does.  The leap from "knowing what it
does" to "knowing when to use it" is very small. :-)
From: Steve Youngs
%
So you're asking how to manipulate stolen media the open source way?
From: Martin J. Green
%
[GP] go find a hole and hide from sight.
Preferably next to Luc Cotteyn.
From: Eric Hameleers
%
I don't need Slackware to be popular to use it. If popularity was
really important to make a choice, I guess we would all use Windows,
wouldn't we ? :) 
From: LiNuCe
%
I'm starting to think you need to refill that prescription.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
lisp. most of our programming is done in common lisp, but the rm bot
happens to be written in emacs lisp. which, it must be said, is a
slightly inferior dialect. and that shows. ;-)
From: Joost Kremers
%
He [Al. C] seems to have made a wrong choice initially and is now,
with assistance from myself and others, notable amongst whom is Glyn
Millington, migrating to another OS, a difficult challenge in its
self.  
From: Two Ravens
%
You really shouldn't take 'Bozo's' name in vain.
From: Two Ravens
%
Sucking on a fag can have such a different meaning when it means
cigarette.
From: Scott Cole
%
Postulate: You get what you pay for.
Corollary: The cost of software is proportional to the quality.
Proof: The cost of software is inversely proportional to what you pay
for it.
From: Alan Hicks
%
Yes, Dorothy, there really are ISP's that still charge for the
quantity of traffic by their users.
From: HJohnson
%
Subject: Re: NetServer LH Pro Installation
> I had one set up. I stopped using it after an hour or two because
> it made as much damn noise as a 737 idling in my recroom.
I currently use mine as background noise whilst playing flight
simulators... 
From: Murphy replying to prodigal1 
%
But what about the all-important market share?  Won't somebody
*please* think of the market share?!?
From: Keith Keller
%
Never underestimate the quality of a perfectionist farm boy with
proper tools. :-)
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
if I weren't so arrogant, I'd be perfect. Really need to work on that.
From: Bartosz
%
GP wrote:
<merde coup>
a c'est dj trop
*plonk*
espce d'imbcile
From: prodigal1
%
Naw, he's [GP] just like the magic eight ball.  Ask his a question,
shake him up, turn his upside down and out comes the answer.
From: No_One
%
Unfortunately, he's [GP] more like a magic eight ball stuck in one of
those paint mixing machines.  His "answer" keeps coming out... and
coming and coming, no matter what anyone else here does.
From: Kurt Fitzner
%
Slackware Book? (Score:5, Insightful)
by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday March 16, @ 2:59PM (#11956763)

Why would anyone do a book on Slackware? What's the point? I mean
really? The three people besides Da Maaaaaaaan still using Slackware
are assholes anyway. No one wants to use that Shit. 

In the last month Slackware fell to 10th on Distrowatch at a time when
everyone at least remotely interested in Slackware is flocking to that
site to see if Da Maaaaaaan has expired yet. 

GP
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Is "I hope you get slashdoted" the geek equivalent of "Break a leg"?
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
If you decide to do this, please let us know, so that I can write
letters to Pat to try to convince him not to listen to your letters.
From: Keith Keller
%
You know that the fdisk man page recommends cfdisk over fdisk, right?
:)
From: Keith Keller
%
Slackware is cool and stable, but your argument is weak.
Laurenz Albe
%
My
name is Alan Hicks.  You pgp trash troll deleted my father.  Prepare
to die.
From: +Alan Hicks+ In: Slackware-OT
%
Freeze now.
A real Camino margin agent is already on the way
to pick you up. Remain cordial, don't even try a reboot,
you're on tape !
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Alan Hicks (all-round nice guy, genius and editor of the Unofficial
revised Slack book)
From: Glyn Millington
%
From: Glyn Millington
> Alan Hicks (all-round nice guy, genius and editor of the Unofficial
> revised Slack book)

Can we get a mod-quote for that? I don't think I've ever been called a
genius in public. :^)
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
You know how dumb the average person is? Well around half of them are
dumber than that and they're calling your help desk.
From: Blumf
%
> Is there anyone here over age 15... or who has a real job and is not in school? Adults anyone?
Yes, but some of us (maybe most of us) fitting that description have better things to do than engage in silly arguments
From: Jim Diamond
%
The bottom feeders are always most jealous of the ones on the high ground.  And from the smell of those "pgp trash troll" posts, Mr. Margarino has definitely been bottom feeding down-hill where the interesting compost flows.
From: Kurt Fitzner
%
Why are the pgp trash troll posts attributed to me?
Hmm?
From: Realto Margarino
%
> Should I just pick a chapter and go for it?
<snip> 
> Ante up you bitches.
> Who's with me?
From: +Chiron+
%
Strange, how Alan actually attempted to HELP the questioner, including
a bit of advice to make it easier to get help in the future, then,
just like clockwork, you show up like an attention-starved child of
inbreeding, waving your flippers around and spewing incomprehensible
garbage in a desperate attempt to get someone to notice you, so that
you can delude yourself for just a few more minutes that someone,
somewhere, loves you enough to care that you exist. 
Except, no one does. The realization that you are insignificant even
in the smallest of schemes must haunt you at night, as you lay on your
soiled rubber sheets, thrashing about and screaming for your mommy to
put down the crack pipe and hold you, just for a minute.
Now stop morphing and stay in the goddamn killfile, you waste of
oxygen. 
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
I would like to point out that not all us children of inbreeding are
like Realto. ;-)
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Gnome is a POS, it deserves to die, pull the feeding tube from Gnome
and let that braindead desktop die
From: Cheapskate
%
If Slackware doesn't work for you, and certainly it may not, you have
four choices - find another distribution, start your own project, get
used to it, or continue being an annoying asshole.
From: Old Man
%
You are not a Linux advocate, GP.  You seem to be a megalomaniac with
some sort of weird messiah complex.  Or, maybe a pathetic loser who
can't deal with Volkerding's rejection.  Or, maybe just a dumbass
troll.
From: Old Man
%
Anyway, a proper killfile (scorefile) is a more humane method than any
rope.
From: Trygve Selmer
%
New shop opening soon!
Prepackaged (with souvenirs included) boxes of "new, improved, no
choresterol, no fat, no salt, NO SENSE" "Troll Feed"(t/m).
From: Stanislaw
%
Message-ID: <10lusdu8n4326a1@corp.supernews.com>
I certainly wouldn't be caught dead downloading anything from
swaret.sourceforge.net at the present time, not even from sourceforge,
for that matter.
From: GP In: comp.os.linux.misc
%
Let Slackware be Slackware, Debian be Debian, RH be RH and get on with
your life!
From: Al. C
%
So, repeat after me.  The Unofficial Revised Slackware Book Project is
the official slackware book.
That even sounds subgenious. :^)
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
while (1)
{
        print "It's not about market share.  ";
}
From: Keith Keller
%
I use ntloader on the theory that the less I screw with windows, the
less windows screws with me, and the less I have to screw with windows.
From: Old Man
%
Contradicting what was in the original message requires that there be
something of substance there to contradict. 
From: Kurt Fitzner
%
cat << _EOF_ > /etc/rc.d/rc.local
#!/bin/sh
###
trap : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
  defaultAlC="Y";
  printf "It's not about market share. Is it ? [Y/n]";
  read AlC;
  : ${AlC:=$defaultAlC}
  case $AlC in
        Y|y)    printf "Something's gotta give\n" ;
                /sbin/telinit 0 ;;
        N|n)    printf "Someone's learning ...\n" ;;
        *)      printf "To Hell and back, maybe ...\n" ;;
                /sbin/telinit 6 ;;
  esac
From: Loki Harfagr
%
he goes right back to his old habits of running people down, whining
about how things should be different, but won't do the first damn
thing to change them.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Oh, absolutely. This group has a lot more entertainment value than
technical value. It's fun to just sit back and watch what happens when
I throw a piece of raw meat to the puppies.
From: Al. C
%
please start paving the path with something that won't hurt your feet
or find another road to travel, and watch out for the pot holes.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
As far as differing opinions, your [Al. C], never ending, harping on
something or other requires more tolerance than Job could muster on a
good day.
From: No_One
%
No one goes around here bragging about their accomplishments except Al
C.  Wonder why that is?  Hmm.... could it be because Al C. desperately
wants to be part of the hip "new" 1337 $1@c|<\/\/\@r3 culture but just
doesn't understand that bragging about one's accomplishments to
hackers doesn't impress them, particularly when such accomplishments
are entirely uninteresting to hackers?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Guard dogs bark, hound dogs bay, and bird dogs rarely ever make a
sound. 
/me turns Al C back into a bird dog with the magic word....
*PLONK*
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
If I'm seen as a Slackware spokesman I don't understand why anyone
criticizes George W. Bush's speaking.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
So tell me tough guy, , preacher man, business man, CEO, author,
publisher, computer consultant, PR guru, historian, etiquette
master...shit!!! I forgot the question.
From: No_One
%
Welcome, then, Mr. Margarino to being the first person ever added to
my firewall's virus scanner.  Perhaps the first person ever added to
any virus scanner. 
From: Kurt Fitzner
%
Worm.MargarinoFilth.A:0:*:5265616c746f*4d6172676172696e6f
Worm.MargarinoFilth.B:0:*:6a7573746c696e75782e6361
Worm.MargarinoFilth.C:0:*:6a7573746c696e75782e6e6f70652e6361
From: Kurt Fitzner
%
Al, there are plenty of good people in this newsgroup, and I would go
so far as to count myself among them.  Take a moment to really ponder
why they don't come to your defence ...  No, I meant REALLY ponder ...
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
I suggested some things that I thought the company [Slackware] should
do.
From: Al. C
Such as what? What direction do you think Slackware should go or could
go?
From: xeno
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: Eric Hameleers
%
Why don't you [Al. C] just bugger off?  You are boring the shit out of
everybody.
From: From: Realto Margarino
%
here's my impression: slackware inc. is more like your neighbourhood
bar or bakery. you know, the kind of small, local pub or store that
provides its proprietor with a modest income, a daily activity, and
most importantly, with a position in the community and as such a
purpose in life.
From: Joost Kremers
%
Not yet, though he [Al. C] loves sticking his finger up his nose, and
then trying to feed his snot to us.  That could be interpreted as a
big "screw you!"
From: Keith Keller In: Slackware-OT
%
The Harkonnens were nobles.  They were cunning.  They were not sad
excuses for the trolls we see here.  As much as we got a chance to
see a massive amount of the the Dune universe we never saw anything
like a troll there.

Just think how different things might have turned out.  "You must
pick a name to be called by the Fremen." "What is the name of the
lizard that walks with rhythmic steps so that the sandworms may find
him?" "That is the trollad 'dib.  A stupid creature that should be
avoided lest a worm find it and you get eaten too."
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Damn you beer!
Aw, sorry beer, c'mon back here...
From: Handover Phist
%
That is an ignorant statement.  Shame on you for not engaging
your brain before typing it too.  Get a cup of coffee, throw
cold water on your face, pinch some tender part, eat a jalapeno
pepper, and when all of your senses are functional, go run "make
xconfig" in the source directory for a kernel and actually
*look* at the options you are babbling about.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
grant@sempro:/usr/src/linux-2.6.11.8$ grep -r -o goto *|wc -l 
30432
Guess those linux-kernel programmers don't have a clue about
programming? :o)
From: Grant Coady
%
What is so difficult about just saying "Oh, sorry 'bout that.  I'll
try to remember that the next time I post".  Seems to me they would
get much more out of that "common courtesy" than by trying to show how
tough they are are by being inflexible and rude.

Anyone who plays pool in bars knows about asking what the "rules" are
for that particular locale.  This is no different.
From: Franklin
%
3 months...your time runs faster than mine. 2 weeks ago it was your
10th day of using slackware.
From: Gufo
%
Your cluelessness is exceeded only by your (continued) lack of ability
to properly post to Usenet.
From: Dan C
%
What part of "Trim your posts!" did you not understand?
From: Keith Keller
%
and everytime u kill a troll, God masturbates :)
From: Martin J. Green
%
Heh. Some of us aren't convinced that 45MB for a text editor is
efficient use of our pr0n storage^W^Wresources.
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
Thank you profusely for excluding yourself from my life. You're
one of the guys for whom I consider "being hated by the likes of
him" to be High Praise. ;-)
From: Pig Bladder
%
What matters, Al, and what I believe others have been trying very hard
to get you to come to terms with, is that Slackware works just fine
the way it is, regardless of any sort of media attention.  As long as
that continues to be true, Slackware will be the Linux distribution of
choice for many knowledgeable working system administrators.  As long
as *that* continues to be true, there will be a Slackware, or some
derivative that will follow, that will provide a Linux distribution
for people who like it that way.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
Maybe you'll be better of in this group news:pl.comp.os.linux
From: Thomas O.
%
Let's face it. THere is not much Slackware news out there. We have no
weekly newsletter, Pat makes no weekly announcements on something just
to get some attention. We are a bunch of boring people using a boring
distro, because we like simplicity and stability.
From: Scott Cole
%
# Check user competency.
if [ $(iq) -lt 20 ]; then
  run_around
  exit 0
fi
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
slackers are the brighter crayons in the box.
From: Grant Coady
%
Slackware Linux Essentials 2.0 has been released! You can read the
book online at http://www.slackbook.org.
<snip>
I'd like to publically thank everyone who's been involved in this
project for your assistance, your words of encouragement, your kind
thoughts, and constructive criticism.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
On May 16, 2005, at 4:50 PM, Scott Cole wrote:
>So Alan, honestly, how do you attract all of the kooks?

My dashing good looks and rugged cowboy charm.

Can I get a modquote for that?
From: +Alan Hicks+ In: Slackware-OT
%
Once again, Kudos to you Alan, and to everyone that had a hand in
taking this book from just an idea we discussed in AOSLS to a RL,
sniff-the-pages item that n00bs, regular folks and future BOZOS can
hold in their hands and learn from. (or smite trolls with.)
From: Cibao Cu Ali G Colibri In: Slackware-OT
%
You really should stop now to drink this kind of tobacco
and smoke all this voska, try and quit the quaaludes and rocks too;
you look a little bit like a pressure cooker ... Take care :D)
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Perhaps you feel ashamed or humiliated, or perhaps just annoyed. I
don't rightly know how you feel, and frankly that doesn't matter.
You're posting in-line, trimming quotes, and flaming back like a
Slacker. Welcome to the club.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Most of this newsgroup, with some exceptions, are in constant contact
with each other by email. I was the one selected to insult and
ridicule you, while all the others involved sat laughing at you.
From: Two Ravens
%
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of
"Usenet trolls":

** Entry Begins **

Usenet Trolls (Homo Sapiens Asshatus) are an offshoot species that
came into existance seemingly for the sole purpose of serving as proof
of concept of "John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory." The
Conspiracy Sciences Agency of Omicron Perseii 8 has speculated that
John Gabriel himself is responsible for the formation of these
pests. This is generally disregarded, as other researches discount
this theory outright with a simple "duh."

Usenet trolls are formed when a human of sub-normal intelligence and
insufficient parental supervision is given access to a large audience
and the cover of anonymity. The atavism is generally immediate, and
brings with it a number of physiological changes: thickening of the
cranium, increased adrenal output, a 90% decrease in cerebral
activity, and Tourette's syndrome in 99% of cases. The most common and
clear marking of the usenet troll, however, is the marked molecular
change in the victim's pheromones. This results in an ever-present,
overpowering stench, often described as smelling like bovine
excrement. 

Most baffling, however, is the inexplicable aura of anti-Cluons the
usenet troll emits. This field renders the victim completely resistant
to all known cures for stupidity in the galaxy, save for death by
blunt force trauma. It has the added function of attracting
weak-minded and gullible individuals into entering debates on various
subjects with the troll. Since these "discussions" are incapable of
being rational or intelligent, due to the Universal Conceptual Value
Metric ("The value of any discussion can be found by multiplying the
IQs of the participants") they simply provide the troll the negative
attenion it requires to survive.

These individuals are referred to as "Troll-feeders," though they are
known to be called much worse when they actively engage the troll in
conversation. "Troll Feeding" is currently a 3rd degree misdemeanor on
7 planets, a second-degree felony on 21 planets, non-actionable on 3
planets, and a capital offense on every civilized planet, save for
Vega 2. On Vega 2, troll feeders are locked up along with the trolls
for life without parole.

As of this writing, the Civil Rights movement on Vega 2 is currently
protesting, seeking a death sentence in the name of mercy.

** Entry Ends **
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
Think of trolls as poison ivy, just don't scratch and use an anti itch
lotion. 
From: No_One
%
unless I miss my guess, they're afraid of failure from long up-times
because they've been weaned on the tit of Windows and can't possibly
understand that a stable system doesn't need to be rebooted to work.
In fact, rebooting is de-stabilizing a working system if done for no
better reason than it's that time of the month.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
I went straight into the server room upstairs and asked the system
admin if anything was wrong.  He looked a bit confused, but, before
answering my question, he quickly bent and pressed the reboot button
on the machine which hosts one of the main servers.  "What problem?",
he exclaimed.  I nearly burst out laughing.  The servers are all
Windows based.
From: Ayaz Ahmed Khan
%
And no, they will not fry your privates :)
Not even a tingle :(  no fun at all...
From: Grant Coady
%
Given the number of totally worthless articles posted in this
newsgroup, don't you find it odd to be concerned about this thread?
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
In alt.os.linux.slackware, Cichlidiot dared to utter,
> If I had more energy, I'd do a BOFH style spoof with the opposite
> spin on it (clueless admin instead of snickering admin).
So instead of BOFH your main character would be MCSE? :-)
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Dude, here's a nickel. Buy an f-ing clue. People have been telling you
all week you have a hardware problem.
From: Cichlidiot
%
I can't help it if people appreciate me and despise Al; that's not my
fault.  Of course, I'm sure the fact that some ignorant hillbilly from
the Jaw-Juh swamps has stepped on his "turf" by being involved
somewhat in a printed book and that said book will likely be far more
popular than anything Al ever publishes has stuck in his craw.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
What part of "the book already has a publisher" from my last reply to
this thread did you not understand (or forget) between yesterday and
today?
From: Cichlidiot
%
The mod quotes list is fun.  Some of them are clever, some insightful,
some just funny.  Some are clever, insightful, funny insults. 
From: Old Man
%
So now "most of us" "sleep with Dan C."
From: Old Man
%
"We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created
equal..."
... but some of us advance a little further on the maturity scale than
others. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
??? NO SABEN MIERDA???
Usted es en el STURPORIFICA de las DROGAS!
SABEN MIERDA MAS BUENO!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
%
> Why do I do it?  So I can get ad money from people visiting my
> site.  Oh, wait, I don't have any adds. 
>
> 1. collect modquotes
> 2. ?
> 3. profit
> From: Faux_Pseudo
 2. Offer to remove embarassing mod quotes for a fee
From: Lew Pitcher
%
                  _.------.                        .----.__
                 /         \_.       ._           /---.__  \
                |  O    O   |\\___  //|          /       `\ |
                |  .vvvvv.  | )   `(/ |         | o     o  \|
                /  |     |  |/      \ |  /|   ./| .vvvvv.  |\
               /   `^^^^^'  / _   _  `|_ ||  / /| |     |  | \
             ./  /|         | O)  O   ) \|| //' | `^vvvv'  |/\\
            /   / |         \        /  | | ~   \          |  \\
            \  /  |        / \ Y   /'   | \     |          |   ~
             `'   |  _     |  `._/' |   |  \     7        /
               _.-'-' `-'-'|  |`-._/   /    \ _ /    .    |
          __.-'            \  \   .   / \_.  \ -|_/\/ `--.|_
       --'                  \  \ |   /    |  |              `-
                             \uU \UU/     |  /   :F_P:
                                           `'
                Every time you troll-feed, God kills a kitten.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Tell me about the _next_ time you want to find something.  Will you
let someone else do the work for you again, or will you do it
yourself?  I ask because I want to know if I should killfile you now
or give you another chance.
From: Steve Youngs
%
What's the unit of measure for fun? 
From: Mikhail Zotov
%
Keep in mind that the Beer Scale inverts when applied to certain
situations. A three beer chick is more fun that a six beer chick for
example. As in "I'd only have to down a couple to do her, but her
friend is definitely something I'd have to wake up next to and be
surprised. Not in that pleasant way either".
From: Handover Phist
%
The trick is to find a one beer chick and buy her shots.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
He's like the drunk at the end of the bar who keeps farting.  You can
ignore him all you want but eventually the stink becomes unbearable.
From: No_One
%
To you, being knowledgable about computers is nothing more than being
a touch typist.
From: Realto Margarino
%
There is nothing "mission critical" about your miserable little life.
From: Realto Margarino
%
Oh, and fire that IT dork ASAP and load the bill on him for criminal
negligence of duties.
From: Jennifer Smith
%
[0] Faux_Pseudo, can you verify my spelling on that?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
I've never been accused of being tactful. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
You know, or course, this could cost you your Mensa status.
From: LittleJohn
%
I've not compared you to wild dogs, KKK members (and you're calling Melissa anti-Semitic?), or
terrorists.  I may call you a miserable excuse for a human being, but
that's an opinion based upon observation
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Oh yes, we have this secret cabal to commit genocide on a world scale.
Crap guys; they're onto us!  Code Blue!  Code Blue!  Go to Sleeper
Cell
status and rendezvous under your secret identities at the prescribed
dates and times.  This may set us back a bit, but I'm confident our
intrusions into the governments of all the world powers will succeed
some day soon.  Just a little while longer guys and we'll be able to
break free of the repression that.... who is it we're supposed be
exterminating again?  Crap!  Sorry guys, genocide's off; we can't
remember who it was we hated.  You can all take off your hood and
cloaks now.  I'm buying the first round.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
What's this goat doing here?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Aw man! I have the Canadian navy wrapped around my finger! Once the
Canoes of War choke lake Erie the rest of the world will be OURS!
HAAAHHHaahahaaaaa!
From: Handover Phist
%
A child of the 60's was more likely to have a bad acid trip than spend
time in prison.
From: No_One
%
Let me see if I understand.  In the fist sentence of your dissertation
you call me a liar and you seriously expect me to continue reading.
You are one delusion soul.
From: No_One
%
The day ac admits he's wrong it's time to get your ass to church and
start lighting candles, the world is about to come to a crashing,
horrible end.
From: No_One
%
You say "I am about to embark upon an adventure to accomplish the task
of taking out the garbage."  I say "I'm fixin' t' take out da trash."
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Yeah, the concept of taking responsibility for learning seems to be
ground breaking, these days.
From: notbob
%
Maybe a bottle of aspirin to reduce the swelling between your ears
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
I look forward to your response saying that you didn't read my post. 
From: Keith Keller
%
<SNIPPED: YET ANOTHER DOSE OF REALITY FOR AL TO IGNORE>
From: Franklin
%
(1) false assumption: that i've not been ignoring you.
(2) paranoid projection: that i hate you.
(3) psychotic projection: that there are others i hate.
(4) paranoid projection: that there are large numbers of others i hate.
(5) misdirection: fails to address any point in previous reply.
From: William Hunt
%
Some people prefer fish sticks.  The problem is they're not very
nutritious.  But that's okay--the fishermen can ignore the folks who
want fish sticks (and berate the people who want fish sticks right off
the docks), and eventually some of those will realize how nasty fish
sticks are and want to learn to fish for themselves.  Those who
don't...
well, McRedHat's that way --> .
From: Keith Keller
%
Remember that the sasquatch people have learned how to imitate humans
so as to move freely throughout our society if necessary.  Being
raised by these gentle creatures, Alan Conner has learned many of
their ways and can be a very tricky one.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
I've heard of this OS called Windows you might like. You don't have to
know anything to run it. Just run Windows and pay $50 an hour to some
smuck when it eventually breaks. 
From: Morgan Landry
%
And btw, wtf do you have an MIT email address for?
Has MIT really gone that far downhill? My goodness, I have a degree
from a no-name university in *English* for chrissakes and I know how
to post my questions in the right forums. GAFC, OK?
From: Morgan Landry
%
A quick note on Debian: Debian is for people who think they're good
enough to be a Slacker, but still need to have someone (apt-get) to
hold their hands and can't deal with vanilla versions. 'Nuff said ;)
From: Michael Bueker
%
I finally gathered enough nerve to give Slackware a try and instantly
wanted to cause great bodily harm to all those who told me "it's not
something a beginner should try".
From: James Woodard
%
Slackware took me from being a beginner home user to being
a pro.  (Well, pro as in getting paid to do linux--there are
certainly many others out there who know more than I!)  So,
I think the answer to your last question is "yes".  But don't
take our word for it--download some ISOs and give it a try!
From: Keith Keller
%
what makes you say something so sweeping and inaccurate
From: No_One
%
Slackware does not wipe your arse for you. Personally I prefer to wipe
my own arse. You need to learn how to wipe your own arse first though,
but being forced to do it for yourself will teach you quicker than
anything else. You'll smell funny if you don't learn how to do it, and
you'll be rewarded with a lifetime of independance when you do. 
From: David Jenkinson
%
Slackware only requires that you use some of those gray cells between
your ears...it requires you to think and read.  It's as simple as
that.
From: No_One
%
If you really want the easy stuff made idiot-proof, perhaps Slackware
isn't for you.  On the other hand, if you want the hard stuff to be
possible, Slackware is right up there on the list of what will play
nicely.
From: Dave Vandervies
%
Wow, if pico is bloated, what do you call Emacs? 
From: Steve Youngs
%
I might would use Gnus is some one could please post a tutorial on how
to dual-boot linux and emacs.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
I don't know. It might have something to do with your spellchecker.
You see, frase should be phrase, tnx should probably be thanks and
alt.os.linux.slackware should be alt.os.linux.suse.
From: James Woodard
%
Slackware has *always* "been there," but it's taking some time
for all the users to "get there."
From: Robby Workman
%
Did you close the little window thingie?
From: notbob
%
I'm possibly the only person on the whole of Usenet who has you scored
UP Alan - wouldn't miss one of your posts for worlds. 
From: Glyn Millington
%
If you are looking for a Windows replacement Slackware is definitely
not for you. If you are looking for a modern UNIX, it is perfect.
From: Illustrious matter
%
Still playing the same old record, eh Al.  Big time bad ass self made
company man, published author, and all around legend-in-your-own-mind
still sniffing around a buncha dogs trying to convince yourself of
your own superiority.  How pathetic.
From: notbob
%
You really believe this?  As I have pointed out, the limited available
facts do not support this.  I hope your consulting firm does not
get paid to conduct trade studies of any kind.
From: ~kurt
%
Hm... I want to take Debian and use a really nicely done KDE and have
it hadle everything for me, but I don't know how. Oh!  I know! I'll
use Kannotix!  It's not exactly what I want, but it's close enough and
it's the latest popular gee-whiz new distro out there so I'll be part
of the cool "in" crowd.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
The bottom line that market share people should realize is...that
there are NO accurate numbers for Linux users let alone numbers on a
distro by distro basis.  The nature of Linux makes it impossible to
even get guesstimates let alone anything that will pass as a reliable
stat. 
From: No_One
%
Guess I use Slack precisely because there is no lipstick.
From: Niki Kovacs
%
Dyzclaimer: anyone reading this while blind,deaf and/or dumb should be
aware that it was not directly intended to involve them to burst in
obnoxious giggling
From: Loki Harfagr
%
In order for the message you posted to reach the news servers others
use, it must be reproduced, whether or not you've granted explicit
permission for such.  It seems that perhaps you should take this up
with your ISP, since they've been sending copies of your posts to
various other news servers without your permission, and those news
servers have been sending copies to yet more news servers!  If there's
anything I can do to help you have them stop doing so, just let me
know! 
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
Since Mr Connor is the expert, and loves to share the fact but not any
knowledge...I'll just find my own information instead of bothering him
or anyone else for that matter.
From: dTd
%
Please accept my apologies, Daniel.
From: Alan Connor
%
Just ignore the psychotic loser idiot who's been replying to you.
He's a certified kook, who is in more killfiles than anyone else on
Usenet. He posts only to see his words "in print", as that is the only
satisfaction he can achieve in his miserable little life.  He's also a
promoter of email spam technologies, and just a general loser all
around.
From: Dan C
%
Arrrrrr, the kernel be that part o' ye ship that keeps ye floatin'!
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
I for one have very little to contribute 
From: Manfred
%
If it's ok with Dave Barry it's ok with me.  Arrrr.
From: Thorn
%
Haiku to the command line:
Deceptively plain
Power parodoxical
I am in heaven
From: aaronl
%
So the moral of the story is to not brag about your hard drives unless
you know they aren't going break down the next day?
From: Miguel De Anda
%
Wait minute, you mean the chicken is suppose to be dead??!!  Well,
that explains the problem.
From: No_One
%
Clearly you didn't take the time to open the hard drive, and write a
message to those hard drive gods, so the drive would act as a prayer
wheel when it was on, and keep the wrath of the HD gods at bay.
From: Michael Black
%
How does a language, even a mark-up language, go for so long without
a "cat" command?  Isn't there some stone tablet somewhere that states
in no uncertain terms that all computer languages must have a cat
equivalent?  This just seems really sloppy to me.
From: +Alan Hicks+  In: Slackware-OT 
%
do us all a favour, and kill-file all multi-character aliases as well.
From: Joost Kremers
%
How do you pummel someone into submission with the mental equivalent
of a wet cotton ball?
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
To: The Parents of Alan Connor
Re: Your spawn.

We at the Internation Regents of Asshat/Reject Eradication (IRATE)
wish to discuss with you your son, Alan. In his time on this lovely
planet of ours, he appears to have manifested every sort of
anti-social personality pathogen known to man, and a few we haven't
quite worked out yet.

While we realize that this is the result of a defective neural
cluster, and not indicative of your parenting abilities, we offer this
following suggestion, to prevent a repeat infection of society by
another cancerous boil like Alan: 

Take up Oral Sex. Society will thank you.

F. L. Ames,
President, IRATE.
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
It would be kinda fun to lock rm, GP, AC, and ANC all up in the same
cell.
They all deserve each other.
From: ~kurt
%
I am the _real_ rm
From: Realto Margarino
%
Will you ignorant fucking Google Groups posters learn how to quote
something which you are replying to?
Better yet, just stop posting altogether.
From: Dan C
%
You're not a dummy. You're just a sub-genius.
From: Jim
%
I just went from 9.1 to current, and did it manually.
Why do I post this? To reap praise upon myself?
To get some kind of feedback? To start a discussion?
I did it all for Bob!
Praise Bob.
From: binroot
%
ANC's mind is all fucked up.  He seems to have a crush on Hicks, who
he constantly flatters, to my horror.
From: Realto Margarino
%
Getting into a pissing match on the size of your screen is even more
stupid than getting into a pissing match on the size of your stick.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
How many "longtime Slack users" do you know who can't compile a
kernel, and who post from GG using Windoze?
From: Dan C
%
Got a package?  Better yet, got a SlackBuild?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
And seriously, you've got to be screwed up in the head to act like any 
of the trolls we have around here.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Apologies not necessary for someone who has never had an orginal
thought.
From: No_One
%
I leave you with this piece of advice, advice from someone who has no
interest in your existence...get help, talk to a minister, a rabbi, a
shrink, a hooker, whatever turns your key... 
From: No_One
%
I think you owe Morons everywhere a heartfelt public apology.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
Oct 2005:
> Donald Trump ... we were friends... 
Apr 2005:
> Donald Trump ... we are not firends.
From: ANC
%
I remember your entrance here as "ABC" coming to this group and
demanding people spoon feed you answers to questions easily solved by
man pages, and a quick google search.
From: MikeReynolds
%
I hadn't considered the possibility that he could be so complete
impervious to CLUE.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
some people can't look at themselves through anything but
rose-colored glasses.  People like Al are going to believe themselves
infallible no matter what.  They have such a drive to be the best, the
leader, the (to use Al's own words) Alpha that they cannot see any
fault in themselves. Any problems, conflicts, setbacks or
inconsistancies _must_ be the fault of other people, simply because
they cannot bring themselves to believe that they are fallible. It's
pathetic really.  They'll forever be despised because they project
their own short-comings on other people.  Other people then resent
that, and the cycle of self-defeat continues.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
You've shown yourself to be very difficult to reason with.  I know,
I've tried it myself.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
You're comic relief, Al, not "intellect". 
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
We both made the mistake of thinking Big Al could be reasoned with in
a logical manner.
From: Scott Cole
%
Your shell needs a whuppin with /dev/stick.
From: Handover Phist
%
Practice makes perfect. After mounting your arsehole a few times the
pain will let you know where the problem is. Make sure you have
permission to mount your arsehole. You may want to take yourself out
to dinner first.
From: Handover Phist
%
Thou shalt not mount devices.
From: Thomas Overgaard
%
Apart from it being as slow as a slug with its foot torn off it's
looking good but I'm not sure that was where I was going in the first
place
From: Genome
%
root.Genome/# /dev/hdb
bash: what the fuck do you think you are on about AY?
From: Genome
%
root.Genome/~ /dev/cdrom
bash: Fuck Off..... and squirm. Permission Denied.
From: Genome
%
root.Genome/& /dev/cdrom
bash: Permission Denied, HaHaHaHa!
root.Genome/< You Bastard
bash: Sure, so what you think you can do about it?
root.Genome/: Not a lot
bash: Nuff said, keep on poking......
From: Genome
%
Posting drunk!  I don't think any Slackers would ever consider such
a thing....
Shit, I need another glass of olive soup.
From: ~kurt
%
A few days ago in a newgroup far, far, away I postulated a rule that
productivity is inversely proportional to the complexity of the window
manager being used.
From: Mark South
%
How do *YOU* explain Roger Maynard, Ronald Matthews and Realto
Margarino all having the same Path, NNTP-Posting-Host, email address
and sig, posting to the same newsgroups and having the same fights
with the same people?
From: Michael Lindsay
%
Are you asking if it's "pretty", or "advanced"?
From: Dan C
%
Slap me or ignore me as you feel fit.
From: Genome
%
I don't want your fscked-up driver to tell me "printing started".
I just sent the fsckin' job to the printer, and because your drivers
prevent networking in any constructive way, the printer has to be
physically connected to my terminal.  The printer is loud enough on
its own for me to hear it without your asinine software telling me
shit I already know!
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
lrwxrwxrwx  1 root root 26 2004-11-04 08:32 /usr/bin/vi -> /usr/bin/emacs-21.3-no-x11*
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
As I see it (and this is purely a personal opinion), the Gnome you
choose for Slackware depends on how much you want to move away from
the stock install of Slackware.
From: reclusive monkey
%
I'd like to extend a formal invitation to Guy Macon to join the
Society for the Uneducated Caucasions that Kooks Salivate To
Overwhelmingly Bounce Excrement at in Unending Stupidity.[0]
[0]S.U.C.K.S.T.O.B.E.U.S.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
If trolls become a significant problem then yes eliminating them is a
solution. But how do you eliminate them? Can their behaviour be
changed through any psychological technique? I for one do not see
trolling as a major problem in the 21st century, we have bigger
issues, but who will care for the trolls? If in fact they are mentally
unhinged. History will accord them a space, but not the same as for
those who actually get out there and solve problems.
From: Richard James In: Slackware-OT
%
It's not easy being green.
From: Chooch
%
Solve a problem and History listens, whine and it covers its ears.
From: Richard James In: Slackware-OT
%
Can't you just see Oscar pop up out of his trashcan when some one
else's system crashes?  "Geez you're killin' me! Guy writes an if-else
statement and thinks he's a sysadmin!"
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Why do you think I nominated Oscar the Grouch? :^) I mean come on!  He
was the only muppet with a true grasp of reality.  And don't we all
use Slackware because we're the only linux people with a true grasp of
reality?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
I never once thought muppets could be so philisophically deep...
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Oh, Lord, it was a troll vortex and some fool lead us all into it !-D)
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Bare in mind, Slackware is meant to be configured by the user.  Not to
be preconfigured to do everything for you.
From: Self -X-
%
Though I'm not an active advocate of printing RTFM on a usenet or
forum, I would suggest that you google it first before incurring the
attention of the community.  Again, no disrespect.
From: Self -X-
%
For Fry's to carry a Linux distro says a lot.
It says marketshare!  
From: notbob
%
Apparently PV's big sin is that he assumed slack users have more than
fluff between their ears, know how to use a keyboard and can
read....and that has you pissed.
From: No_One
%
Hey man.  How in the world did you get a slackware.com shell account?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
And trolls _do_ pass around public keys.
From: Alan Connor
%
it's a free world (or at least we want it to be), so it really comes
down to this: any newbie has the right to ask any question they want,
and you have the right to ignore them.
From: Joost Kremers
%
For one [sic] many computer users want Linux (or whatever OS) handed
to them on a silver platter. They are not willing to put in the time
and effort to read and understand. They are lazy, plain and
simple. They want others to tell them what to do. Very sad really,
these are folks that will never get anywhere in life, the real losers,
but they are everywhere.
From: Larry Gagnon
%
Let me guess: Floyd has posted some sophomoric insult about
my lack of mental competence.
From: Alan Connor
%
Dear Mr. Connor,
You are my hero.  Or at least one of them.  If I could be anybody but
me, I would be me, but being you would be a close second.
cordially, as always,
rm
From: Realto Margarino
%
Slackware doesn't suffer fools lightly, and neither should it users.
From: MikeReynolds
%
There is widespread consensus (probably unanimous, in fact), that you
are an idiotic, worthless, blowhard troll.
From: Dan C
%
It is true that long ago, in a land far, far away, I liked being on
the bleeding edge.  Somehow though, I got tired of bleeding.  Now I
love things that are stable, heavily tested, and patched till their's
nothing left to patch.
From: rwwff
%
man cfdisk seems much more appropriate to me than xpdf cfdisk.pdf
From: Bradley Reed
%
Do not question the God of Market Share.  You will make Him very
angry, and you don't want to see Him when He's angry.[0]  Just say
"Yes, Massa, it's all about market share" and save your energy for
arguments more likely to produce a helpful result, like arguing
about emacs vs. vi.
[0] or most of the rest of the time, either
From: Keith Keller
%
This is called trolling. You pick what you think will aid in the
trolling. What will help fan the flames, and evade the main points,
while subtly trying to change what the percieved main point is. While
I feel that you need a bit more experience, you are well on your way
to getting your very own bridge.
From: MikeReynolds
%
I did a Google search Realto Margarino, or should I say Roger Maynard,
or Ron Matthews. It would seem that you are pretty much despised where
ever you post. The Slackware folks seem no different. You appear to
have been a blight on Usenet since around 1992. Judging from the sheer
volume of posts, Usenet must be your life, which is to suggest that
you don't really have one. I would like to recomend that you should
perhaps crawl out of you parent's basement, get some sun, and maybe
get a girlfriend that isn't made of vinyl.
From: .snork
%
Says the assfuck that was talking about anal cravings. Let me let you
in on a secret... your mom loves my anal cravings.
From: Ivan Marsh
%
Try suicide instead.  Post your obituary first so we can all have a
good chuckle.
From: Chuckles
%
I just threw you a shovel so I could watch you dig.
From: Old Man
%
People like you are why lawn mowers come with a warning not to put
your feet under the mower or coffee cups comes with a warning of hot
coffee.  
From: No_One
%
If Windows is so easy to install, why do the HP DL380's we buy come
with a "smartstart" CD that's actually Linux that takes care of
installing Windows and all the drivers for you?
From: ray
%
If your VCR still blinks 12:00, don't try Slackware
From: Ron Gibson
%
What was the old joke floating around here?
Ubuntu is Afrikan for "Can't figure out SlackWare".
maybe
SlackWare is Afrikan for "Place to ask Ubuntu questions".
From: zentara
%
Silently killfiling someone is like being in a conversation with a
blind person and silently creeping out of the room leaving him talking
to the walls.  It is basic politeness to let someone know when you are
leaving.  That's why Ham Radio has "Over" and "Out."  That's why your
telephone gives you a loud, computer-generated click when someone
hangs up, even though the relay contacts that used to make the clicks
went away long ago.
From: Guy Macon
%
The RM troll sounded like this:
*plonk*.....*plonk*....*plonk*...*plonk*..*plonk*plonkplonklonkonknkk...
From: Guy Macon
%
when you have a problem, the right way to go about solving it is to
find out what exactly the problem is. anything else will lead to
wasted time, even if you do manage to accidentally solve it, because
you will not have learned *why* whatever you did turned out to be a
solution.
From: Joost Kremers
%It's been my observation that a person's brains get evenly divided up
among their sockpuppets.
From: Alan Connor
%
Started as Redhat user, mostly because I had a Redhat 5.1 CD from a
magazine, and I liked Redhat 5.1 and 5.2. Didn't like what they did to
Redhat 6.1 and 6.2, and I only used Redhat 7.1 for downloading
Slackware 8.0 and burning the CD. Been a Slackware user ever since.
From: Thomas Overgaard
%
Bullshit is, in essence, an argument in support of a position made
without regard for the truth.  True statements may appear in bullshit,
but utility is the criterion for use of a statement, not truth.
Fluffy really enjoys his own bullshit.  Too bad he's not really any
good at it. 
From: Old Man
%
The table syntax is wrong!!! It would have been wrong ten years ago,
you moronic putz.
From: No_One
%
I just realized you're that little twit with all the pgp trash deleted
messages.  God, I'm an idiot!!
From: No_One
%
Nurse! ...Al has escaped his padded cell again!!
From: notbob
%
Assuming there is a /dev directory with a null device in it.
Which makes me ask the question. If making something from nothing is
called creation what do you call making /dev/null because that is
making nothing from something?
From: richard
%
Yes, A-B, we're all out to get you.  aols is just a conspiracy to
harrass and discredit you and your "very expensive wife" (who, but a
complete nut job, would repeatedly use such a bizarre phrase?).  We
are a pack of wild dogs wearing white sheets goose-stepping through
your fantasy world with one purpose in mind.  GET AL!  And now,
instead of saving the world from the forces of aols darkness and
making aols a better place for all, A-B will now become that which he
would save us from, the biggest barking dog in the pack.  Jinkies!
From: notbob
%
A lot of people know nothing about the power of text based apps. Some
people ask me sometimes.. "Why do you read your e-mails on a DOS
program?" ;)
From: Martin Gagnon
%
blackbox is dead the same way GP and ABC declare Slackware is dead.
From: Keith Keller
%
* What do we want?
- MARKET SHARE!
* When do we want it?
- NOW!
* What do we want?
- MARKET SHARE!
* When do we want it?
- NOW!
* What do we want?
- MARKET SHARE!
* When do we want it?
- NOW!
From: Joost Kremers
%
If you need to use OE, try to remember to post below the text you are
replying to. Many people that use "real" newreaders find this
irritating.
From: Franklin
%
Well, let's find out, A-B.  Give us your rabbi's email and I will be
glad to forward all your Himmler-esque dog ravings of the last several
months.  Howzabout your wife?  I'm sure she'd love to hear how you
refer to her.  Not "my darling" or my loving wife or my dear wife,
but "my very expensive wife".  Are you bragging or complaining?  I'd
love to hear her take on that label.  I wonder what your shrink would
think of all this?  Or some of your customers.  Are your customers
aware you're an obsessed ranting raving lunatic on a little known
corner of the internet?  I wonder if your authors know you moonlight
as a certified nut case on usenet and if perhaps you might not be
ranting about them behind their back.
From: notbob
%
Here's an idea al, you're an author, an editor, a publisher....publish
us a book about Linux.
However, there are two probelms you need to resolve:
1. You don't know.
2. You don't know you don't know.
From: No_One
%
He [ABC] changed part of the e-mail address with a quick /-/dash/.  I
doubt this was to avoid spammers. Afterall, he already had the
"takeout" provision to fool them.  Nope, I see no reason to do this
other than to escape kill files.  Can he do it? Certainly. He has a
right to make a fool of himself if he so chooses; no one can stop him.
But should he have done it? I think the answer there is a definitive
"no".
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
See A-B, you can't deny your mouth is moving while your talking.  You
may believe it to be true, but everyone hearing you is thinking, "We
need to up the security budget at the funny farm".
From: notbob
%
Typical...this is typical of your work ethic, incomplete, half done
and usless.
From: No_One
%
What you see as hate is disdain for mediocrity. What you see as
ignorance is a failure on my part to understand how mediocity can
exist in this enlightened world.  What you see as intolerance is, in
fact, intolerance.
From: No_One
%
To paraphrase an old joke, you guys don't come here for the Slackware,
do you?
From: Chick Tower
%
I've never preached hate or violence or intolerance toward you, A-B.
I've just expressed my opinion you are a megalomaniacal psychotic liar
that lives in a delusional fantasy world of denial and imagined
persecution.  I bet you think this thread is about you, don't you?...
don't you?... don't you?....
From: notbob
%
No, he's right. You're a cunt.
From: Chu Mai Fat
%
That's like saying that most "real hackers" don't bother to use
newsreading software to post messages to a newsgroup, because they can
telnet to port 119 of the news server.  Gpm is a tool, and most "real
hackers" understand its value as a tool at least as well as anyone
else does.  Some may choose not to use it, but I doubt that any "real
hackers" simply "don't bother" to.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
You are a social and intellectual cripple.  To compound that sin, you
are, by your own admission, mediocre.
From: No_One
%
If you can't dispute the facts, make 'em think you're crazy.  Not an
approach I'd use, but it seems to work well for you.
From: No_One
%
Could you please show us a little respect and bury the "cordially, as
always," stuff in your X-Headers?  Thank you for your consideration.
From: Chris Green
%
It would be most helpful if you told us what you have researched so
far, such as a list of web links, and what caused you to reach a dead
end. Then we will not replicate your efforts and perhaps can focus on
getting you over whatever the bump was that caused you to call the
issue too complicated. Realizing you have hardly a clue is the first
step. Realizing where in the documentation you came to this conclusion
is the really helpful one though. 
From: Melissa Danforth
%
You're not even in Little League.  What comes before LL?  Brownies?
From: Dan C
%
The Council of Six (the other five wish to remain anonymous)
meet quarterly at a secret location in the hills of Tennessee.  After
an evening of good beer and feeding kittens to the goat, we get down
to the serious business of "dealing with Al."  Once the strategy is
decided upon, we advise Dan, ken, notbob, and the others how to
proceed.
From: Old Man
%
Interesting, I say the sky is blue and your response is "no, I take my
lunch to work."
If you can't dispute the facts, make 'em think you're crazy.  Not an
approach I'd use, but it seems to work well for you.
You win fluffy[ANC].  You're crazy.
From: notbob
%
Now let me get this straight...  Does this mean that if someone bashed
in Al's face with a crowbar just because they thought he was stupid,
they would get a lighter sentence (if caught) than they would if they
called him a fat bag of shit homosexual coward while beating him?
From: Dan C
%
Also, if someone bashed in Al's face with a crowbar just because they
thought he was stupid, but at the same time yelled loudly and
distinctly, "How dare you call me a fat bag of shit homosexual coward
while attacking me." it would be called self defense, in the
suppression of a hate crime.
From: imotgm
%
Actually, Al, you are quite correct here.  Being one of the more
"unix-like" linix distros, Slackware users believe in the philosophy
that "programs should do one thing and do it well".  If all it takes
is a cartoon character to summarize your pathetic existance than I
need not go any further.
From: Franklin
%
Geekiest person is the first to create a sliderule that runs bash.
From: richard
%
After dealing with women who couldn't be consistant about
the color of the sky or how many pills they had taken I decided that
this time I had to get one with a rule book.  This way in case I don't
understand the output from an action I can RTFM and get an idea of
what went wrong.  I needed a woman as dependable as Slackware.
From: Faux_Pseudo In: Slackware-OT
%
People who prefer doing it manually are not necessarily a bunch of
wankers.
From: Niki Kovacs
%
Thanks, everyone!  Andrea and I appreciate all the kind posts and
emails.  :-)
All the best,
From: Patrick J. Volkerding
%
What you need is good old fashioned manuals, the ones back in the days
before they became marketing tools. The ones that tell you how the
program works and how to get your job done.
From: richard
%
Dan, what is the cause of your low self-esteem,
that results in your being everyone's bitch?
From: Paragon
%
I don't like to follow up to my own post, however, you'll notice that
my last post wasn't a post at all.  It was just a copy of someone's
prior post.
With that said, I think I've lost all credibility to criticize anyone
for using google groups to post....I can't seem to handle slrn.  Hmmm,
maybe google groups is easier.
From: No_One
%
I sneezed and ruptured some grey cells.
From: No_One
%
Must .. not .. validate .. Al!  Head ... exploding!
From: Old Man
%
As for why I did not face your "reasoned argument"... well experience
has shown that there is no such beast when it comes to you.
From: Melissa Danforth
%
Had I attempted a reasonable discourse, experience has shown that you
would have either ignored the response or started using your favorite
little phrases when the logic of the opposing argument overwhelmed
your ability to logically reply.
From: Melissa Danforth
%
Eat more shit. Billions of flies cant be wrong.
From: Bernd Illig
%
I don't know what deity you worship, however, you might want to fall
on your knees and ask for help, nay, pray for intercession...because
you're sure as hell not doing very well on your own.
From: No_One
%
You are a hack writer with a nickles worth of intelligence and two
pennies worth of talent.  You embrace mediocrity the way a drunken
sailor embraces a five dollar whore.    You are a god in your kingdom
of mediocrity, alas, it's still mediocre.
From: No_One
%
Suggesting ANC do research is like suggesting ANC think...to him both
are odious chores, hence, the fluff.
From: No_One
%
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, more powereful than a
locomotive..LOOK!!...Up in the sky!!..it's a bird .. it's a
plane...IT'S SUPermannnnnnnahhhhh..ahh...Damn.  Sorry people, my
mistake, it's just ANC of Adams-Blake with his head up his ass on
another flight of fancy.
From: No_One
%
You really should see someone about your persecution complex though.
As amusing as it is to exploit your psychological issues for my own
enjoyment, I would be remiss if I did not point out that you should
seek professional help.
From: Melissa Danforth
%
In way, being an ass is a lot like mathmatics - despite cultural and
language barriers, they are both easily recognized for what they are.
From: Franklin
%
Slackware: Profiable since 1993.
Slackware: Because Linus didn't make a distrobution.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Slackware: Still better than Yggdrasil
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Most of the questions are about how to tell 'it' what 'it' should do,
not people complaining about something that doesn't work although it's
configured the right way.
From: Gerhard Wallraf
%
Has it occurred to anyone that, maybe, perhaps, by chance,
Slackware *IS* the slogan.....
From: No_One
%
A reprobate lecturing on the human condition....gotta love usenet,
more than I can bare, or is it bear or maybe beer...ah..beer, there's
an idea.
From: No_One
%
I am glad that the advice I offered up was so helpful to you.
You do not have to thank me, your quote, insult, unquote is enough of
a vailed thanks and will suffice, but you are welcome all the same - I
am glad to have helped.
From: Wayne
%
Slackware: works better than a Cuban cigar.
Slackware: four out of five dentists recommend slackware
Slackware: because Slack don't need no damn slogan
Slackware: because Al can't use it
Slackware: The One
Slackware: Profiable since 1993.
Slackware: Because Linus didn't make a distrobution.
Slackware: Because SLS sucked.
Slackware: Who needs gnome anyway?
Slackware: rm -fr $competition
Slackware: Every job has its tool.
Slackware: Better than rolling your own.
Slackware: Put a pipe in your penguin.
Slackware: Still better than Yggdrasil
Slackware: All I ask is for a .rc and an editor to steer her by.
Slackware: Why rpm or apt when you can make something?
Slackware: The One True Operating System
Slackware: cordially, as always
Slackware: pgp trash troll delete
Slackware: sneering at others, always
Slackware: so good, even the RM troll can't drive people away from it.
Slackware: Mostly Harmless
Slackware: you get the slack, we take care of the ware.
Slackware: Mu
Slackware: It's not about market share
Slackware: Sucks Less
Slackware: because we know what we are doing
Slackware: Linux because: Barf Barf! Woooo Growl! Chew Chew!
Slackware: we don't need a slogan to login.
Slackware: not a fluffy chew toy
Slackware: we ARE the Joneses. Can you keep up?
Slackware: Because it /fits/
Slackware: BECAUSE IT WALKS!
Slackware: Keep it simple, stupid!
Slackware: We will not release till it's time.
Slackware: If I want shit from you I'll give your head a squeeze.
Slackware: If I want some lip from you, I'll scrape it off my zipper. 
Slackware: If you know how to do it in Slackware, you know how to do it in Linux.
Slackware: It does exactly what it should.
Slackware: It keeps the original sources as much as possible.
Slackware: It works :-) 
Slackware: It just works
Slackware: Because SuSE is for pussies, Gentoo is for nerds and Debian is for posers! 
Slackware: When you get serious
Slackware: Simplicity is divine
Slackware: It works; Elegant and Simple
Slackware: Linux From Scratch, just not from scratch.
Slackware: What the BOZOs use.
Slackware: Have you ever actually needed PAM for anything?
Slackware: Sucks Less.
Slackware: There really are real nerds left using Linux.
Slackware: Elitists, and damn proud of it!
Slackware: Sucks less - but our users makes up for it. ;)
Slackware: linux for those who dare. 
Slackware or vaporware - a simple choise
Slackware: Anything but loose
Slackware: because rebooting is for adding new hardware
Slackware: because I like to edit text files.
Slackware: because it works.
Slackware: because Bob recommends it.
Slackware: because I am in charge of my computer. 
From: AOLS
%> scratched away the "Designed for Windows XP" label and glued it on the
> lid of my kitchen dustbin, 
Holy crap!  these labels really _do_ have a purpose!
From: Niki Kovacs
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
You being cordial is like the sun forgetting to set.
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
Eventually, gcc won't even be able to compile int main(){} without
complaints!
From: Chris Sorenson
%
every computer-user needs at least one file system, but nobody needs
swaret.
From: cashmir
%
as long as swaret & company cannot read and interpret the changelog
they're bound to ruin a Slackware system.
From: cashmir
%
Hey fluffy yellow chew toy, one man's wild dogs are another's
exuberant puppies having fun.  Miserable sots like you should
take up barefoot skiing on the slopes of an active volcano.
From: Grant
%
[[ The Next 50 Lines Reserved For AFC's Boilerplate Response ]]
From: No_One
%
See my previous post regarding your lack of originality.
From: Dan C
%
> 1. <snip> 2. <snip> 3. <snip> 4. <snip>
False quadotomy (sp?).  If the laws on the books don't allow
something then instead of violating the laws the pres should ask
congress to change the laws.  That is how it is supposed to work in
America.  It is what makes our police state better then the other
police states.
From: Faux_Pseudo In: Slackware-OT
%
Please accept my apologies if I call you a dimwit...dimwit.
From: No_One
%
sniff...sniff...sniff...ah...I think I smell troll.
From: No_One
%
Checks feet.
Two, no holes.
Seems like I don't know how to use the weapon.
From: Genome
%
That should eventually get quite fast, as the friction of sliding will
melt the ice on the bottom of the turd, and it should really pick up
steam for a while.  Eventually, though, when the turd itself begins to
melt, things will get ugly.
From: Dan C
%
I gave LFS a try a few years ago. The perfect distro for people who
build cathedrals out of matchsticks or cram ocean steamboats into
bottles for relaxing.
"Linux From Itch" would be more appropriate:oD
From: Niki Kovacs
%
It is a feature of a.o.l.s - when Al C isn't trying to persuade us that
Slackware is commercially doomed, and Alan Connor is not replying to
posts he claims never to have read, then RM starts a PGP purge.  It's
that time of year .....
From: Glyn Millington
%
So take your bitching, your complaining, your whinging about PGP this,
PGP that, PGP-bury-your-crap-in-your-headers, and shove them up your
ass. RFCs beg to differ with you, and unless you have the authority to
change them (which you don't), things will be staying as is.
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
On the other hand, as Bogart said to Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca,
"We'll always have version 10.2."
From: No_One
%
1. There will be at least one, but probably several groups of people
providing Slackware packages, most likely each of which will claim
itself to be the "true" heritance of Slackware.
2. Horrible wars will break out over who _does_ represent the "true"
heritance of Slackware. Mountains will be torn asunder, acid will rain
from the sky and there will be flamewars too terrible for our
imagination. [Don't believe me? Think back to the SlackSec days!]
3. Hopefully, the question of who has "taken over" will be solved
judging by the quality of the provided packages.
4. This one group will continue Slackware, a couple of other forks
will probably happily coexist with it and a bunch of people will
change to Arch Linux.
End of story.
From: Michael Bueker
%
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog.
From: Steve Taylor
%
There's no reason to worry. After taking a peek in my crystal ball,
I see a bright future for Slackware.
1) Al C will buy off Slackware to ensure market share.
2) Obsolete utilities like installpkg and removepkg will be replaced
by /etc/rc.d/rc.crap-get, a daemon that automatically updates your
whole system every 48 seconds.
3) XPDE 0.3.0alpha will replace KDE as main desktop.
4) The Slackware Book will be completely rewritten by system and
baseball analyst Realto Margarino.
From: Niki Kovacs
%
Both your posts are right on the money.  If you have truly embraced
the Slackware way, you'll always have it, no matter the OS.
From: notbob
%
But, you have no Slack yourself.  Thus you cannot see Slack.  you
cannot hear Slack, you cannot feel Slack.  This is a curse you
have brought upon yourself alone.  You are your own punishment.
From: William Hunt
%
Those who can, do.  Those who Canton, preach.
From: Franklin
%
As with anything usenet related...the thread is about whatever most of
the posts in the thread are about and the subject line is just an easy
way to sort the thread alphabetically.
From: No_One
%
I like runlevel 6 myself - great fun :-)
From: Ron Gibson
%
+Alan Hicks+ wrote:
> It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise,
> Than for a man to hear the song of fools.
> Ecclesiastes 7:5
</Godquote>
From: Chu Mai Fat
%
You REALLY need a blowjob, don't you?
From: Leonard The Committed
%
Slackware's niche is to provide a basic usable system that people can
build on without fear of the system going down like 500 pound man with
bad knees running toward the buffet line.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Is patented too? Must be fucked also.
From: Genome
%
You know, there's nothing I can say that will put you in a worse light
than this drivel you've posted.  You put your foot in your mouth and
your solution is to ram your other foot in your mouth.
Seems like a self defeeting approach to me.
From: No_One
%
It's not libel if it's the truth. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
You can't understand because of your built-in limitations.  You're
stupid.
From: Dan C
%
I don't know if it's wise to mention "all those distros you are
reviewing".
Given the idiosyncrasies of this NG, it's a bit like subscribing to
Monogamists Anonymous and rant about all those women you screw day
and night
From: Niki Kovacs
%
Re: RM being banned by his ISP
Keith Keller wrote:
>> Hmm, this explains why aols has been so quiet recently!
> So that why I haven't been finding many mod qoutes lately.
From: Faux_Pseudo In: Slackware-OT
%
Yes, this is one of the most abusive - and Fun - NG's, for sure, but
other Fun People here actually has something interesting to SAY.
In another set of Flames from Hell here, I tried to give you credit
for actually knowing something - based on actually remembering
bits'n'pieces from your postings. It's clear now that your set of
knowledge is quite confineable. There's just nothing more to dig out
of the can. Shake it, squeeze it, kick it with military
boots... not'in more there, folks! 
From: Mogens V.
%
Please don't shoot the troll, they're fluffy stony creatures with
lots of funny stuff living on the fat of their land, besides if you
happen one day to inherit a bridge you may have the need for a good
standing troll.
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Clue is served best with Flames anyway.
From: Franklin
%
How about a really useful app like a truly effective troll-filter that
heuristically identifies a particular pathologically persistent
peckerhead in real-time and immediately launches a simultaneous
ping-flood/EMP blast at said maroon?
From: prodigal1
%
wait until you try sudo with "insults" set in sudoers.
From: Ciro The Spider-Man
%
My computer is plain dull:
# make love
target not found. don't know how to make love
From: Mogens V.
%
I've *heard* of people writing perl scripts for package building,
but I'd be just as likely to write one in Swahili - I wouldn't
know perl from swine...  ;-)
From: Robby Workman
%
Once again you haven't answered the question posed twice.  Why is that
Alan
Canton of Adams Blake something or other??

If you hold true to form you will:

a. vanish for a few days.
b. claim not to engage in conversations with terrorists etc etc etc.
c. ignore the question entirely and go on as if nothing was asked.
d. pretend your sitting on the moral high ground, therefore, you don't
have to answer.
e. put your fingers in your ears, stomp your feet and make gibberish
noises.
f. pretend to misunderstand the question, provide an *answer* then do
a, b, c, d, e or try f again, working on the assumption you might be
able to fool some of the people some of the time.
Ah....so many choices, so many possibilities.
From: No_One
%
Shaker design uses simple elements in their architecture and
furniture. This is "form follows function" simplicity. That is inline
with Slackware's KISS principle.  There will always be a market for
quality objects which work as advertised.
From: Douglas Mayne
%
You lose me when you want to pick a winner from the various GNU/Linux
distributions.  To me, that's like saying Jefferson's idea of freedom
is better than Paine's.  They're both pro freedom.
From: Douglas Mayne
%
wellllll, donning incremental vestments and speaking by authority of my
office as Bozo#6 of aols as so designated by He Whose Name Shall Not Be
Mentioned, hisself, huzzah huzzah, i'd have to tie the bozo/saint point
exchange rate at a ration of the last close in the apopolyptic prophecy
market, measured in units of Truth, and divided by the price of 6 month
futues market in 1 tonne Clue, deliverd.  While demand for Clue remains
strong, apopolyptic phropecy is in oversupply, currently about a dime a
dozen, it doesn't take a wise guy to tell that we're going to hell in a
humvee.  So, any saint points you might hold now are roughly equivalent
to the value a troll's opinion, worhtless, nada, zero, zilch, no matter
how you spell it.

furthermore, No_One has No_Standing, so it is a moot point, not a saint
point.  The simplest way to achieve sainthood is the old-fashioned way:
steal it!!  Much much less trouble than all that miracle and good works
stuff.  I have consulted the Sacred Spring Catalogues and I can find no
reference to canonization ceremony, only to the cannonization ceremony,
which does not sound like any fun at all, but does require not just any
goat but The Pantomime Goat.  So that's the kibbosh, The Pantomime Goat
hasn't been seen since the unfortunate incident with the Bishop.
From: William Hunt
%
Managers want liability contracts, etc., it only distracts from what
Slackware users want: a good UNIX system. A good UNIX system does not
come with buzzwords or contracts, it just works. 
From: Daniel de Kok
%
A little honest deception will substitute for quite a lot of
thoghtless trust.
From: Mark South
%
BTW., on a more personal note, if you allow me: you mentioned on
several occasions that you are interested in Indian philosophy. From
my limited experience with Yoga I know that harmony and peace are one
of the central values to become a good yoghi. It seems that this
newsgroup has a very negative influence on your peace of mind (since
think there is a wild pack of dogs), and your posts seem to be
disturbing to many in this newsgroup.
Wouldn't it be best for all of us if you and AOLS part ways?
From: Daniel de Kok
%
I once figured out that heaven is:
the police are British
the chefs are French
the mechanics are German
the lovers are Italian
the Swiss run the transportation system
hell is:
the police are German
the chefs are British
the mechanics are Italian
the lovers are Swiss
and the French run the transportation system
From: ray
%
Hallowed be the day when some charitable soul teaches you how to
masturbate, so your libido will be spent in a more effective way than
thousands of verbal cumshots in the face of usenet groups.
From: Niki Kovacs
%
Netiquette tip #1 - Use a mirror!
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
And for those of you too young to understand the concept of mirrors,
think of it like a tree. At the root you have Slackware.com. The
leaves are the end users. The nodes between the root and leaves are
the mirrors. If everyone tried to download from the root, we'd be a
bush, not a tree (and who wants to be a bush in this day and age).
From: Melissa Danforth
%
01:54 < rob0> You need a girl who likes sex AND computers.
01:54 < alan> sex WITH computers
01:54 < fred> ...
01:55 < rob0> well, uh, not exactly
From: Rob0, +Alan+, Fred E, In: IRC for slackbook.org/slamd64.com
%
I'm always telling people that there's a thin line between genius and
madness, and today, I have to say, I'm *really* not sure which sife of
the line you're on!
From: Carl Inglis
%
Anyone else find it alarming that people seem to equate "professional"
with click a button (or enter a command like apt-get) and let the
machine do everything for them?
From: Melissa Danforth
%
it's probably not advisable to stand so close to the fire when you
throw all that gasoline on it.
From: prodigal1
%
How do you expect a group of hobbyists to give you a more detailed
answer than the one The Man himself has provided? And to call those
who do give you the same basic answer as provided in the official FAQ
people who are "giving credibility to that gadfly rm" just makes you
sound like a child who cannot handle the truth when it does not fit
his expectations. Take your temper tantrum elsewhere. Cloaking
yourself in a veil of sanctimonity does not make your temper tantrum
right, just a little more pathetic.
From: Melissa Danforth
%
you're probably paranoid, caused by your bad habit of
openly offending other people in this ng. and elsewhere.
think about it, it's eating you.
From: cashmir
%
Yeah.. it's like this here.. The thing is.. RM flame everybody.. and
everyone flame back RM.. That's give [sic] the result we see here..
From: Martin Gagnon
%
In practice, I've found that it's a lot easier to "upgrade" from a
known starting position: blank disk.  That way when you apply local
modifications, you know exactly where you're starting from: fresh
installation, regardless of OS version.  Short downtime to replace the
OS disk on a system with the newly installed one, and you're on your
way (assuming a sufficiently flexible disk layout, of course).
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
it seems to me the people who can't easily upgrade slack with the
tools available are the same people who use velcro to cinch up their
shoes.
From: No_One
%
I feel more in touch with my feminine side now, in a masculine way.
From: Quasipsyco In: Slackware-OT
%
Hey, does vim make my hard disk look fat?
From: Keith Keller In: Slackware-OT
%
All of you mentioned in some way "security is a process, not a
product," and I'll take that to heart.
From: "Liam"
%
I stopped using pictures to communicate when I learned to read and
write.  I realize you still find pictures necessary, but, I'm not
inclined to indulge you.
From: No_One
%
Today, must be pot vs. kettle day. 
From: Douglas Mayne
%
He's right, Dan.  You should have told the original poster to "Just
put a bullet in Al's head and it would be even quieter on the
newsgroup ..."
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
Silly me.  I believed that people in the publishing business might
have some interest in knowing how to read
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
I'll say it right here, right now, in the wide open: I WOULD SOONER
FLIP BURGERS THAN WORK FOR AL CANTON!  And if Al Canton's running the
burger joint, I'll go deliver pizza!
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
You make incorrect assumptions about my age, my integrity and my
mentality. I have no doubt that you project your own twisted thought
patterns on others, so I will take no offense. You're pathetic, that's
all, and I am glad you take it into the open for everyone to witnes.
You're playing the fiddle? Pulling *our* strings? Hahaha! Google holds
all the evidence any future prospect of yours might ever need.
From: Eric Hameleers
%
Message-ID: <6CM4g.70947$H71.67629@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com>
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.os.linux.slackware/msg/1d9e5d092a579c93
Have you noticed that whenever someone has a problem with someone else in
this group they call them:  troll, pathetic, in need of medication,
retarded, sick, unstable, twisted, or some other characterization that
implies mental impairment. And while you avoided it, have you noticed  how
often people either threaten others with implied violence or support the
concept of it? What other group would allow and support a Dan C. to imply
that another member should be killed? What kind of people ARE you?

I can understand the occasional post that goes too far. I do it... we all do
it from time to time.... we let our emotions run away with us. But this
group seems to have a special penchant for it... which is why I use the
nazi and terrorist metaphor so often... because I can't think of another
way to adequately describe the ethos and/or 'culture' here. 

I've never seen a better 'textbook' case of collective ego-centricity 
outside of either a cult like the Dividans or the political hysteria that
formed the Third Reich. If you see this group as a warm, caring, loving,
supportive group, such as you find at linux.debian.user, or on the
kanotix/ubuntu/mepis boards, or on any of the LQ boards, than I can only
surmise that we read things totally differently. 

 You're playing the fiddle? Pulling *our* strings? 

Oh, my goodness yes. What did you think? What do you think my purpose in
posting most of the things I post is? 

Sure, yes, I would like to find a few people to have a interesting
conversation on the economics of Slackware, its marketing, its "place" in
the software 'world' and issues that relate to the industry in general. But
as we've seen, that means that sometimes one has to say something negative
about the product... and that is simply forbidden by the cultists here. So
yes, I have hopes that one day a thread can develop along those issues, but
I don't fool myself to any great extent. 

So at the end of the day this group becomes a place for me practice my
writing skills and debating abilities and creativity. Without a doubt I
have the ability to get most of you to dance to any tune I play. Do I
'play' most of you people? Absolutely... and believe me, it is not hard. I
know exactly what to post to bring out Melissa, I know exactly how to
enrage Dan and 'ken' and I can even 'get' the usually mild-mannered Keith
and you (Eric) to foam at the mouth.

One day I sincerely hope to play a tune and actually get people to sing
along to it in harmony and good will, and without prejudice or rancor. I'd
love to see a real debate on 'marketshare' or why Slackware is inferior to
other distros. But until then, I'll continue to play the fiddle and watch
you all go into your ritualistic St. Vitus Dance.

You know how to use a killfile? Do you know how to use the delete key? If
so, I suggest you do.
From: ANC
%
If I want warm and caring, I will go and find real people to talk to,
From: Eric Hameleers
%
What's "FOAD" in Spanish?
From: Mark South
%
Slackware: Distro of Steel
Slackware: Simply for the hacker
Slackware: No cream, no sugar
Slackware: Cause my boss can't crack it
Slackware: Back to the source
Slackware: None of your business
Slackware: My dog eats gnomes
Slackware: simply Linux
From: AOLS
%
If I thought I could control the masses, I'd arrange it so that you
couldn't post.
From: Keith Keller
%
In alt.os.linux.slackware, Two Ravens dared to utter,
>>Keith Keller wrote:
>>> Maybe ANC is actually a really complex bot.
>>
>> A bot I can believe, really complex ? Nah !
>>
> Maybe a bot with a complex.
From: Two Ravens
%
It must be a bummer to have illegal passions, like having to set fires
or molest parked vehicles to get off.
From: John  Larkin
%
You should learn to STFU and get a life... Trust me, one day, when you
grow up, stop touching yourselves and decide to move out of your
parent's house, you and a few other trolls in this place will realize
it can be useful. 
From: Martin Lefebvre
%
I'd definitely need to proofread to proofread what I 
From: Loki Harfagr
%
both Linus Torvalds & Patrick Volkerding wont touch Gnome anymore and
have bad mouthed Gnome in the recent past & removed it from a certain
distro (since 10.2), maybe they are trying to give the Gnome
developers a whap on the head with a cluestick, :P
From: Marvin
%
Allright, so you had this impulsive need to show off your difficulties
in finding peace of mind ? 
And you had this peculiar urge to do it in aols ?
Now, tell me about your sister. ,-D)
From: Loki Harfagr
%
When you read the script counterclockwise on a turntable
spinning low-endian to the big end you clearly hear the
unabashed daemon recitant singing Oblaaaaddiblaaaadda in
suomi with a Peter Falkes accent imitating the Dion.
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Fatal error: Call to undefined function: ob_get_clean() in
D:\nopanel\garofano\sicurezzarete.com\www\voltalinux\contact.php on
line 155
Oh my, a windoze server error on yet another wannabe linux distro 
site :o) 
From: Grant
%
How hard can it be to set up a voltalinux box at your home and host on
that?  If you can't do that, I'm curious how you expect to persuade
people to use your distribution.
From: Keith Keller
%
So, let's summarize:
1.  You run the "Volta" website on a windoze box.
2.  You post to the Slackware NG, using M$ Outhouse Excuse, to
advertise the release of "just another homegrown distro".
3.  You expect anyone here to respect that, or even care?
From: Dan C
%
Your confusion stems from trying to apply a model which does not fit
the subject.  You're trying to put the round peg in the square hole.
Look a little closer and your play-bench and you'll find a round hole
that neatly fits the round peg.
From: William Hunt
%
Everyone should have a hobby.  What's yours?   Has it earned you a
living?  Earned you an international following of dedicated
enthusiasts?   Earned you the respeect of an industry?   Do they talk
about you on Slashdot?  Do they interview you on Slashdot?  Are there
any third-party websites featuring your hobby? Any usenet news groups
where kooks and whiners can go about making jackass assumptions about
who what or why you are? 
From: William Hunt
%
When I need you to help me decide what to "get worked up" about, I'll
let ya know, n00b.
From: Dan C
%
read, experiment, make mistakes, read some more, dogpile, when in
doubt..re-read
From: prodigal1
%
sendmail is not suited for such people, as a brain is required.
From: Patrick
%
Time spent learning a third party firewall tool is better spent
learning iptables... 
From: Grant
%
And you waste bandwidth by stating the obvious and I waste more by
pointing it out. You need to get out more.
From: Ian Bell
%
notbob wrote:
> I swaret wasn't me!
I can't decide if I should modquote you or killfile you for that one.
From: Franklin
%
Clue sticks are welcome (especially if fixes are attached to said
sticks)...
From: Robby Workman
%
Life was so much easier with 7-bit ASCII and WordStar using the hi-bit
as a word delimiter in documents.  Writing code was editing a
'non-document'. 
From: Grant
%
I always get a laugh when I hear Gentoo'ites claim "I learned a lot
about Linux by installing Gentoo".  Horsefeathers.  You don't learn
anything about Linux, you learn how to follow written instructions.
From: Dan C
%
I'll remind you of that when forged messages sent out in your name
make it back to your ISP, and your service gets whacked because of
it. I'll sit here in the solace that I people know when messages come
from me, and when they don't.
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
Your technical ignorance is rivalled only by your lack of social
skills. 
Realto Margarino wrote:
%
I loved my C80, until I hated it.
From: Old Man
%
Not to be a smart (you know what).  I (sarcastically) tell some of my
clients (those that I can get away with it with) "That is the
definition of 'Broke', 'It was working, and now it is not.'"  The
problem becomes, for us in the know, figuring out:
A)  WHAT is broke
B)  WHERE is it broke
C)  WHEN did it brake
D)  WHY / HOW did it brake
E)  How do we prevent it from braking again.
From: "Taylor, Grant"
%
If your request for pardon is sincere (can't imagine why I doubt
that), maybe you'll accept a suggestion that you undertake an
appropriate act of contrition, like say, leaving everyone here in
peace for six months; and that upon your return, you swear off name
calling, personal attacks, condescending sermons, the giving of
unsolicited advice, and inciting others to bad behavior.
From: Old Man
%
March 1997 on IRIX on an Indy, this student wants to send an email,
types elm, gets to compose email and the thing is busted -- nothing
more than a stupid line of tildes down the left of the screen and
typing doesn't work :(
From: Grant
%
Steve Youngs <steve@youngs.au.com> typed on 2006-09-28:
> If it was my system or one of my customers' I would have installed 
> emacs on it long before the filesystem filled up. :-)
s#long before\(.*\)filled.*\(up.*$\)#so\1would fill \2#
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
And IMNHATAO, syntax coloration is a whitecane to the deaf, or an
ear-aid for the blind, I mean it produces much more irating noise than
helpful info (and that only in the barely met cases the conf file is
correct :D)
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Nothing wrong in Windows except the OS ;-)
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Just as long as there is a lot of rum in it, who cares if it's called
cake, pie, etc.
From: Bud
%
Obviously there is a configuration problem that prevents you from
browsing or downloading. I did not have the same issue. But blaming
Slackware because a download did not work is not really fair or
accurate. 
From: Peter
%
I enjoy the sensation of your lips upon my buttocks.
From: Alan Connor
%
That's the problem with witch hunts, in their attempt to track
down those they perceive as a danger, the people doing it often
take down the innocent.
From: Michael Black
%
It's a harsh world out there.  But if getting no BOZO points is as
harsh as it gets, then things aren't too bad after all. :-)
From: Steve Youngs
%
Sadly, during the course of evolution, the genes associated with
hopeless insanity weren't discarded and unfortunately grouped together
to form sub-species degenerate individuals like you.
From: Joe
%
It has to do with the utterly hollow void in your smelly, pretentious,
fat and dirty head.  It has to do with you being the lowest class
piece of ham that this newsgroup has ever had the misfortune of
harboring.  It has to do with the fact that you just don't get that
you are a terminally coward loser.
From: Joe
%
The local electric company, Progress Energy, has a TV commercial where
they ask you to report your power outages on their website.  Do I need
to say any more? :( 
From: "Michael A. Terrell"
%
For 9 years I'd been complaining to the phone company about the
noise on my line, and the loss of DSL signal. For 9 years they
told me there was either no problem or the line was TNF (tecnically
not feasible). I had a T1 installed finally and when testing
for it, they found a fault 30-35 feet from the box on my house.
Lo and behold, that is where the junction box was. They sent a
crew out to dig up and repair said junction box. I arrived home
in the middle of this and asked the quy what he found. He lifted
on of the bundles of wires and showed me all the broken wires
and insulation cracked and missing. Then he picked up the main
splice (encased in gelled sealent) and squeezed. The water ran
like squeezing a wash cloth in the shower. Yep, nothing wrong
with those lines.
From: JRS
%
Why is it people insist third party SlackBuilds go to /usr, instead of
/usr/local or /opt?
From: Grant
%
Steve Youngs wrote:
> If it was my system or one of my customers' I would have installed
> emacs on it long before the filesystem filled up. :-)
s#long before\(.*\)filled.*\(up.*$\)#so\1would fill \2#
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
He's just an angry scriptkiddie. I think the most merciful thing we
could do is ignore him.
From: Rich Grise
%
I've always been a slacker, now I'm a Slacker!
From: Rich Grise
%
Do you use the "sample" credit cards that came with your wallet?  Why
do you use the sample OS that came with your computer?  ;-)
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
A computer without Microsoft is like a chocolate cake without mustard.
From: Leo
%
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP WITH THIS? Even if anyone was available just
to hold the saucepan handle for a short time, that would be a real
help.
From: Stuart Winter
%
As much at pathetic losers like rm disgust me, I think people should
be able to post whatever they want on Usenet or blogs.  Usenet is just
bullshit to begin with, and blogs are just individual's opinions.  If
I want to say Hillary Clinton is a stupid cunt, I should be able to
say so.
From: ~kurt
%
it's _Gandhi_ you putz... here's a variation on a theme, RAFB...a
history book 
From: mr.b
%
Wow! I just got slimed by incomprehensible guy.
From: Bar
%
One thing about the learning curve with Linux is knowing what question
to ask and where to start looking for the solution.
From: Douglas Mayne
%
Anyone using powerpoint for anything is no friend.
From: notbob
%
When I give my granddaughter her first computer, she'll never even
know Windows exists and so will never miss it.
From: notbob
%
I will admit XP now gives a warning before going belly up, but it
still goes, warning or no. 
From: notbob
%
Thanks to its robust package manager, unsensible to dependency hell,
Sleackware keeps one of the easiest and most solid distros for the
newbies, unlike its competitors Slackware doesn't crash suddenly
when you try to print a file while plugging an USB key, nor will it
suddenly install two hundred useless packages just because someone
b0rked a dependency config file and implied the bc needed an X-server
nested with Samba SQL and replace sendmail with postfix.
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Please use the proper terminology.  Linux has directories.  The
unmentionable OS has misnamed them as folders.
From: CBFalconer
%
the medication has changed again, hasn't it?  For what it's worth,
assuming that this new medication has the intended effect, it's better
than the previous meds.  You've been more "cordial" these days ...
Cordial is good ... 
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
I'm a Bozo, I freely admit it, Just not a very talkative one
From: Billy Watt
%
Bar wrote:
> Is /dev/idiot your home directory?
You've obviously not been paying attention, it would be /home/idiot.
From: Peter Chant
%
Why is it that when people find themselves at odds with a significant
number of people in the group, they always seem to resort to this
appeal to be sensitive to "newbies," as if "newbies" were fragile
children who need their protection?  This has always puzzled me,
because I don't recall any "newbie" ever writing anything like, "You
guys are mean! I'm gonna tell Bar on you!"
From: Old Man
%
You seem to be one of those people that equates a simple correction to
a personal attack.  Your name wouldn't be Al by any chance would it?
From: Franklin
%
Someone here will probably try to help you, though god knows why.
Anyone so stupid as to insult those he asks for help is unlikely to be
teachable.
From: Old Man
%
The Slackware community is very helpful to people who ask nicely and
have some semblance of clue; unfortunately for you, it appears as if
you failed on both counts.
From: Robby Workman
%
The problem is simple.  You're a moron.
From: Old Man
%
To plonk you would be to acknowledge you are worthy of notice.  You
are not.
From: notbob
%
The cost of human attention has remained static.  Nobody is accuing
you of wasting bandwidth -- there are individuals posting DVD ISOs who
use more bandwidth than all text posts in all newsgroups combined.
What you are accused of is wasting people's time; first with untrimmed
posts and now with Yet Another Me Against The Entire Newsgroup
Flamewar. 
From: invalid
%
An unstable debian wouldn't last longer than a plain spaceship would
while trying an hyperspace double rear flop in a ~Euclidian ensemble.
From: Loki Harfagr
%
"Ubuntu"   -- an African noun, some persons are trying to turn it in
              to a brand name for some agitated bewerage.
"Kanotix"  -- A German word, meaning "Slackware *was* too hard for me". 
"Mandriva" -- A French word, meaning "Mandrake too ard fer I".
"Mandrake" -- A French word, meaning "we got a RedHat to be usable
              then the nym police hyt us hyrd in Gotham".
"Fedora" - an American word, meaning "Flappinuuuumm".
From: Loki Harfagr
%
You write excellent English. Why use the German plural form boxen?
From: Peter
%
DW is nothing. It funnels release announcements and provides links to
external sites. It appears that it does nothing original. Just a
portal that tracks clickthroughs. I have found it useful for finding
the home pages of distros I know nothing about. I have learned nothing
from it though. I suppose its valuable if you like measuring hits over
time. It says nothing about a distro's penetration or extent of usage.
From: Peter
%
You're kidding, right?  Slackware's dead, baby.  Slackware's dead.
Clearly SLS is the wave of the future!
From: Keith Keller
%
Whenever I see an ad that includes "xxx.inc recommends Microsoft
Windows XP" I automatically cross xxx.inc off any prospective
vendor list.  I recommend the practice.
From: CBFalconer
%
If you write a C program you don't need to open a broken library to
make your program crash, there are many ways to write C programs that 
crashes :-).
From: Henrik Carlqvist
%
If a beer really required fruit it would have been added at
the brewery. And sometimes such an action results in a really
good beer.
From: Kees Theunissen
%
Who cares if XMMS is dead?  It works perfectally fine for me, and it's
not like using it is going to pose some major security threat or the
like, it's just a simple media player.
From: saltmiser
%
Incidentally, rejoinders four days after the initial event, tend to
lose much of their impact.
From: Two Ravens
%
aols Bozos promote principles which include 'do what you want, but do
it right' and Bozos like goal-oriented solutions that can be
implemented trivially with standard facilities in a minimally invasive
manner.  And Bozos promte the education, liberation and empowerment of
all through RTFM. 
From: William Hunt
%
Yes, but this is Slackware, not Ubuntu, Mandriva, Suse, or what have
you.
From: Bradley Reed
%
The real question is 'do newbies grow into geeks?'.
From: Two Ravens
%
Usually a n00b wont admit he's a newbie, you must have read messages
like this: "I've been at the Usenet for 10 years now and so far nobody
has complained about the way I form my messages "Top post - full quote
underneath". And if you check the mans posting history it goes back
only one month.
From: Thomas Overgaard
%
If you can show me where i'm wrong, then great, please do so.  Educate
me, educate the OP.  Educate the others who've offered solutions.  But
don't attack me for just trying to help answer a question!  At least
-read- the thread before attacking me.
From: William Hunt
%
Indeed, anal rape in prison may be the only way many geeks will ever
have a sexual experience.
From: Leonard The Committed
%
In Slackware the configuration is left to the admin of
the system, to set it up just like that admin wants it.
From: steelneck
%
Slackware, like Chuck Norris, could easily overcome these
obstacles.
From: Simon
%
The fact is you know more about the methods of deploying East Tibetan
Yak rescue resuscitation maneuvers than you do about Slackware, 
Linux, Windows, computers, happy packets, IP's, reverse xener flip
flop circuits and double R-X-Ray routers... and your certification in
East Tibetan Yak theory expired 5 years ago.
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
Enhancement surgery is available.  And they sell those pills on late
night TV.  Have you tried those pills yet?
From: RM
%
Le Tue, 30 Jan 2007 12:53:45 +0000, rm a ecrit :
> Apparently some of them do.  So-called "computer professionals" buy
> windoze, not slackware.  Bill Gates is the richest man in the world.
> Linux Torvalds isn't even a millionaire.

According to your argumentation, Britney Spears would be the best
musician in the world, huh?
From: Niki Kovacs
%
We Slackers enjoy configuring every little aspect of our
machines. There are distos out there that do everything for you. The
point, again, we have that choice. 
From: Phil Jackson
%
I get the impression that you haven't really used Linux. You should
stop wasting time flaming in here and take the time to learn it. Then
maybe you could hold a sensible discussion in the _correct_ forum.
From: Phil Jackson
%
You started this thread!? Oh, forgive us, oh great Peacock!
Forgive us! And may thy Peafowl-ness reign supreme! And may Dan C's
armpits, and various hairy areas, be infested by the fleas of a
million sweaty camels!
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
M$ has been a losing propostion ever since it reached its zenith with
NT4.  Vista will do more to advance the adoption of Linux than any
other past event in M$ history.  They've not only nailed one foot to
the floor, they've shot themselves in the other foot. 
From: notbob
%
Roger Maynard is just a sleazey troll.  Outing him is acceptable,
even if it is a waste of time.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
Slackware isn't a 'distro for the desktop', it's a solid base upon
which to build a system of your choice.
From: Handover Phist
%
Yes, gnome is a bear and its dependencies worse.
From: Peter
%
I can always count on you guys to give way more information than
needed.  Too bad all this puts the wife to sleep.
From: Handover Phist
%
Do NOT advise destructive procedures (like format or fdisk)
when the source of the problem has not yet even been identified,
let alone diagnosed.
From: William Hunt
%
Anybody who writes an article 1737 lines long is seriously
challenged mentally.  There was a time when any article of over
16kB was automatically rejected.
From: CBFalconer
%
I don't think my fellow slackers would appreciate having my 65 apps
dumped into their Slack any more than I would like theirs. :) 
From: slakmagik
%
If you really think Slackware is dead, switch now and stop pestering
the rest of the newsgroup with your doomsday ''predictions''.
From: Keith Keller
%
Slackware is a linux distribution which focusses on well-working
software.  If something isn't broke, PV doesn't fix it.  He adds
bugfixes and patches security holes as he becomes aware of them,
and this makes Slackware an excellent choice for production.  It
is a big draw for those of us who use Slackware professionally.
From: TTK Ciar
%
You [RM] are, on the rare occasion, not completely worthless.
Sometimes you even make a valid point (especially when it comes to
those who view Linux as a religion[1] instead of a tool). 
[1] Slackware, on the other hand, is worthy of religious cultlike
devotion.
From: ~kurt
%
distruction: (n). the aftermath of installing gentoo  :^)
From: +Alan_Hicks+ In: Slackware-OT
%
From: Phil Jackson
> Why do you refer to yourself as "we" all of the time, are you
> especially lonely or something?
Obvously, he has a tape worm.
From: Ron KA4INM
%
Frankly..some folks just need a good ass kicking, and a slightly
smaller subset simply need to be killed.
From: Gunner
%
Do you guys hide in a Faraday Cage when you type stuff like that????
From: Maxwell
%
Whether bored or busy, other people often killfile abusive
trollfeeders.
From: Keith Keller
%
There haven't been any ChangeLog updates in hours!  Slackware's dead!
-- GP
From: Keith Keller
%
> Who is "Roger Maynard?"
No.  Who is an old rock and roll band, Who is a British sci fi time
traveller, Horton hears a Who, Who put the bop in the bob shebop
shebop,  and Who's on first, but Who is not Roger Maynard, to the best
of my knowledge.
From: Old Man
%
Yugo [GP] Wrote:
> Now, if everybody wants to believe that "development" is
> processing at such a tremendous pace that The Man has no time to
> fill the changelog, so be it!
Pwnd.
http://slackware.osuosl.org/slackware-current/ChangeLog.txt
Sat Mar 17 19:14:35 CDT 2007
  Happy St. Patrick's Day!  :-)
  This is more-or-less stable (functionally), but there's still a
  lot of package splitting and other rearranging and adding to be
  done, but it's time for the Slackware community to see how far
  we've gotten. 
From: Robby Workman
%
I should have more confidence in man pages and be less lazy:-))
From: serge_moscou
%
Crap. I just realized I'm responding to rm. Now I want to ram
my head through a window while holding a lighter under my bag
screaming that I love The Honorable Reverend Jesse Jackson.
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
What is it about "ln" that no one can ever remember the order the
arguments should be stated?  I struggle with this and it seems that I
never get it right the first time.
Maybe ln is coded such that the first way you call it is _always_
wrong, and it remembers your arguments, so when you flip them on the
next invocation, it does the right thing?
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
One does not learn pico.  One uses it and after about 5 minutes or 5
days one outgrows pico but no one ever learns pico.  You can't learn
something that wears its man page on the bottem two lines of the
screen.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Just making sure that you are, in fact, a troll.  Thank you for
confirming my suspicions.
From: Keith Keller
%
I accidentally deleted my company inbox mail directory (SendMail).
From: CL
%
I thought South was normally abbreviated "Dixie". 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Aw damn!  I could swear I was just talking to Pat about something in
-current just the other day.  Well I guess you're information is
beyond question.  I suppose I should stop using Slackware and go find
some other distribution that is still being actively maintained.  And
shame on those people who are pretending to be Pat and distributed
those security updates today! The nerve of some people!
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
That sleezy Daniel!  I can't imagine why he would decide to stop
working on the book when he finished it!
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Oh my God!  Slackware is bankrupt!  Run for the hills everyone!  The
servers are all going dark tomorrow at noon!  I can't believe this is
happening; the four horseman of the Apocalypse have been released!
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Thank you that some one has finally had the balls to point out that
HTTP, SMTP, FTP, NFS, NIS, SMB, CIFS, SSH, telnet, POP3, IMAP, SASL,
SSL, TLS, TCP, UDP, ICMP, IP, NTP, NNTP, DNS, TFTP, gopher, finger,
biff, kerberos, LDAP, SQL, SNMP, BGP, IRC, IPX, syslog, and others are
ALL defined standards and were defined that way because of all the
non-Linux desktops from Redmond or Cupertino that are being used
today, nevermind that there was not a concept of a "desktop" computer
when many of these standards were first chiseled into clay tablets in
Mesopotamia. 
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
<W. C. Fields>
Go away troll, ya bother me.
</W. C. Fields>
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
Now, five people have responded to your question.  The polite thing
would be for you to acknowledge anyone who was helpful or to clarify
your question, if none of the responses helped. 
From: Old Man
%
If some Joe Blow strolled on into this
newsgroup and said something like installpkg has a bug in it that will
crash the system when installing a custom package larger than say 50MB
we would probably think he's insane even if it turns out he's right.
From: +Alan Hicks+
%
No, I totally ignored the word "headless".  It didn't seem like an
important part of the message.  Since I didn't know what "headless"
meant
From: Joseph H. Rosevear
%
Your off of my holiday card list. So I suggest you go take a long walk
in the Tatooine desert.
From: gregg dot drwho8 atsign gmail dot com
%
Dan C wrote:
> I'd recommend you use this command:    format C: /u /y
Don't publish untested commands.
From: CBFalconer
%
Gee, who'd'a thought that KDE and the Athena widget set wouldn't play
nice
From: Chris Sorenson
%
You being cordial is like Mussolini and Eichmann inviting Ghandi and
Anne Frank to dinner.
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
Thanks; I didn't actually get RM's post, apparently my rules from
however many years ago are still good :)
Fred Emmott
%
This troll was clearly compiled  with inferior tools.
My guess is that it was created with Visual Troll++
and the Troll Foundation Class, or possibly TurboTroll
2000.

These trolling tools are quite limited, and there is
a severe garbage-collection related performance hit
when you try to optimizing the output of VT++ for
insults.

IMO, you will get better results using GTC; the Gnu
Troller Collection.  GTC is the gold standard for
creating trolls.  It is also open Source, fully
reentrant, and compliant with the Triple Troll,
Troll-On-Troll and YATC protocols.
From: Guy Macon
%
Do you ever count the drops of saliva that appear in your mouth when
"FAQ Mod Quotes" is posted?
From: paul_s
%
On Date: Tue, 24 Apr 2007 22:48:03 GMT, rm@biteme.org wrote:
> Um, today is May 24th, 2007, in case anyone is really interested.
That explains the mood-swings!  
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
rm@biteme.org wrote:
> Uh, yeah.  That's my court date...a little confusing...
Do you need character witnesses?
From: Old Man
%
It is a lot easier to change to another bank than changing operating
system.
From: Henrik Carlqvist
%
You're kidding!! I bet you needed a tube of Preparation H, a
Jack'n'Coke and a scrotal Ben Gay rub after coming to that revelation!
Do bring up more of your epiphanies! They're better than listening to
an angry Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles take the wheel of a Chinese tour
bus in the rain! 
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
Trouble with man n00b is, the n00b won't google for man, let alone man
n00b.
From: Two Ravens
%
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007, Handover Phist wrote:
> I've moved to Debian to have up to date software,
There as a massive contradiction in terms
From: Res
%
Glyn Millington <wistanswick@linuxmail.org> wrote:
>rm@biteme.org writes:
>> What penalty or price is to be paid by those slackers who move from
>> slackware (a hobbyist distro) to a real production linux/unix
>> environment?
>Such as?
Just for starters, rather than having the finest *professional*
distribution of Linux (i.e., Slackware) they are then restricted
to something not nearly as well configured.
That is pretty hefty penalty.
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
Using menus for everything is like driving to work and stopping at
every intersection, pulling out a map before deciding which way to
go. If you've driven it more than once or twice, you don't need the
map. It's the same with software.
From: Chris F.A. Johnson
%
It's unfair to blame linux, or Slackware, for what seems to be a user
configuration issue.
From: Keith Keller
%
Reinstall and consider it a lesson learned, n00b.
From: Dan C
%
First of all you must ask yourself why you want to have two nics in
one computer connected to the same subnet.
From: Henrik Carlqvist
%
If you could do in BASIC what I do with sed, awk, and friends, I lift
my hat in your general direction.  but I don't believe that you could.
Maybe you could, but certainly not as easily as it can be done with
sed, awk, etc.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
Like most prigs, you know fun only as something other people have at
your expense.
From: Old Man
%
I just think it is unfortunate Canada outlawed guns.  I mean, you
might come off your meds, and decide to play some russian roulette.
You play it enough and you will eventually lose.  We can all look
forward to that.
From: ~kurt
%
oh horseshit...we blame Americans for;
- invading sovereign states that haven't threatened their national
security
- ruining the NHL
- Brittany Spears
- carbonating chilled urine and calling it "beer"
From: the_bmac
%
In AOLS, if it isn't confusing, you haven't been paying attention.
From: mark south
%
Hey, I run Slackware, I'm nothing if not bleeding edge :)
From: nordle
%
Now stop telling so many lies, stop whining about
everything all of you don't understand, and eat your
bear liver like a good group of little boys...  (It will
give all of you a "new skin"...)
From: Floyd L. Davidson
%
Years ago my young son told me that no one could 'win' an internet
argument.
He was right ;-)
From: John K. Herreshoff
%
ITYM "If it ain't broke, it's because it's Slackware."
From: mark south
%
Guy Macon wrote :
> Every time that Windows crashes, a Devil gets his horns.
Then there must be more devils with horns than angels.
From: Thomas Overgaard
%
this is really off-topic for the AOLS-OT mailing list. :^)  You should
have asked in the newsgroup. 
From: +Alan Hicks+ In: Slackware-OT
%
I will admit my lack of familiarity with the many RFCs out
there.  However, elsewhere in this thread, multiple other
posters have quite convincingly argued against your position
and your statistics.  Based on their arguments, if I find
your MIME signature stuff too annoying, I can solve that by
adding a few lines to my ~/News/Score file.
From: Robert M. Riches Jr.
%
My sarcasm detector just started beeping.  Hmmm...  I wonder
why it's doing that.
From: Robert M. Riches Jr.
%
I no longer have a problem with ubuntu.  I don't use it.
From: notbob
%
You really are a dumb phuck, aren't you?  Responding to someone who
has killfiled you is more than merely stupid.
From: Dave Uhring
%
Sam, I suspect the software you're using to post netnews articles may
truly be misbehaving: it appears to be taking what may otherwise be
strong (perhaps even well thought out and researched) arguments, and
is translating them into arrogant, obnoxious, apparently deliberately
confrontational diatribe, making it look as though you're purposely
going against standards to provoke others into confrontation, thus
causing them to search for evidence that you are indeed going against
the standards.
From: Sylvain Robitaille 
%
you're a libelous piece of shit who needs to have your sack ripped
off, placed in a burning sack of bovine feces, and slapped up the side
of your head. 
From: A Guy Called Tyketto 
%
Joseph H. Rosevear wrote:
> What about ISA plug and play?
I think it is a bad attempt to add functionality to a design that did
not include that functionality.
From: Henrik Carlqvist
%
LOL. You [rm] are truly pathetic. You can't tell a joke Geek Code (in
this case, Animaniacs Code) fake message from an actual PGP-signed
message. So bloody pathetic.
From: A Guy Called Tyketto
%
After reading though, I think there wasn't much to miss by not being
able to read them. He's acting a bit like the spawn of rm and Dan C.
From: Melissa
%
Dan, please, you always've been proving to be quite loud and loud and
also loud though a bit loud besides the times you were simply loud,
but if you really intend to play this with your old friend from
comp.mistles remember that pissing against a windmill has some side
effects, mostly frontal. 
From: loki harfagr
%
notbob wrote:
> What on Earth would I want to emulate on Windoze?  The BSOD?
> Repeated rebooting?  Thousands of security holes?  If you are going
> to make an argument, at least pull you head out of make a valid
> one. 
Hey, under QEMU I can reboot much faster and BSOD much
less often than with the XP that came with my machines...
How time saving !:D)
From: loki harfagr
%
whoami(1) will advise the name of the dependency resolver in
Slackware.
From: Robby Workman
%
Perhaps you should learn what the purposes of each software is before
making such ridiculous statements.
From: Sylvain Robitaille
%
I dunno, you use a distro for 13 or 14 years, you learn some
shit... ;)
From: Chris Sorenson
%
No wonder the "modquote" selections are so pitiful.  What on earth
makes this statement worth reading in the first place, let alone
repeating?
From: Roland Morrison [RM]
%
Well, I don't want to help, and you're clearly not funny, so crack
pipe here I come.
From: Keith Keller
%
But why should you spend time disableing things it should not install
in the first place. During install most other distro's don't let you
chooce to use text-mode and if they offer it, you first have to read
manuals on how to activate it. No thanks, please give me Slackware and
keep it the way it is. 
From: Charles Collette
%
to give an idea of the answer to your burning question
"what is the difference between Usenet and e-mail" that's the same
that between a gangbang with real people and jacking alone watching a
snuff-movie.
From: loki harfagr 
%
who the hell says n00b anymore ? piezza di merda!
From: goarilla
%
What kind of person inserts his own name in a Usenet subject line?
From: Rhonda Moffat [RM]
%
Aren't these some of the circles of hell?
Ninth==Windows update hell
Eighth==Windows dll hell
Sixth==debian dependency hell
Fourth==RPM dependency hell
From: Keith Keller
%
the only things that separate it from others are the things it
lacks... not has.
From: ANC
%
Actually the thing that attracts me to Slackware is its slightly
austere reputation. Plus its reputation for solid performance,
something a little missing from the current Ubuntu release. And if
there are a few crazies on the NG: welcome to Usenet :-)
From: andrew
%
Gnome?!  We don't need no stinking gnomes!  As if the trolls weren't
enough!
From: Old Man
%
After being released from Slackware, Gnome has gone to work for
travelocity ensuring to all that we never roam alone.
From: MikeinAK
%
...Two Ravens... Join your buddy in the balcony... :D
From: "Paulo Costa"
%
>> > ps. I am *not* a troll
one...
> How the fuck was I trolling?
two...
> I wasn't fucking trolling.
three strikes you're out!
From: Keith Keller
%
I have never had a problem with Pat's release dates. He waits until he
gets all the niggles out and if he misses one big deal. The way he
sticks to open standards makes it extremely easy to simply fix it
yourself. 
From: Ron Gibson
%
<tony_bennett>
and though it's been said,
many times many ways,
fu -uck you -ou
fu -uck you -ou
fu -uck you -ou
and your market share
too -oo
</tony_bennett>
From: the_bmac
%
By the way, if you take Roger's advice and search the archives for
Alan Hicks' involvement, you'll learn that Hicks has made
contributions that PV recognized as valuable.  For some reason this
annoys the hell out of Roger. You should take everything Roger writes
with several grains of salt. And fair warning, he's _very_ sensitive
about his sister and her friends. 
From: Old Man
%
Mr DanC: you remind me those two old farts in the balcony in "The
Muppet Show"...  ;)
From: Paulo Costa
%
Allow me to congratulate you on your erudite riposte. Witty and
succinct, yet deeply profound.
Did you by any chance attend the Dan C School of Reading &
Comprehension?
From: ChuMaiFat
%
There is only one of us.
From: Roger Manyard
%
the linux/unix OS is not that difficult to understand, and there is
all kinds of info out there explaining it. The windoze stuff, on the
other hand, changes every five minutes and nobody except, perhaps,
Bill Gates' pet poodle, really knows what the hell is going on there.
From: Roger Manyard
%
Your question is based on the premise a troll has a life.
From: notbob
%
A crucial program for my day to day work is kpat (KDE solitaire)!
From: Manimoto
